Monday's show began on a mildly bizarre note as we saw a news reporter happily announcing that he was at the edge of the Valencia safe zone. Hmmm... why do I feel like he'll come down with a severe case of radiation poisoning? Oh, that's right. It's because he's standing in Valencia, the town that was just destroyed by a nuclear bomb. Here's my idea of a safe zone: VERMONT.

Anyway, we then discovered that Wayne was watching this intrepid newcast, his face filled with the obligatory Tumultuous Palmer Concern. His brief moment of "I Am A Complex Being" was destroyed, however, by Tom Lennox, who marched in and relayed how sorry he was to hear that Karen had resigned.

"Are you really sorry, Tom?" Wayne snapped back. Good one! Presidential Zing!

Nevertheless, Tom used this opportunity to push his insane agenda -- the one that pretty much removes every citizen's basic rights and whatnot. Wayne understandably balked at these resolutions, saying they were a brazen abuse of executive power. As goes habeas corpus, so goes America. Poor Wayne. He was trying to be so firm and stern and presidential. Too bad we still don't believe him.

Of course, since the whole angle with Wayne is that he's simply a waffling baldy trying to live in his older brother's more capable footsteps, he then paused to contemplate Tom's plans, staring at the mushroom cloud on TV, glancing down at his WWDPD bracelet. Hmmm... maybe Tom did have a point. Thousands of people had already died, and who was Wayne to stand in the way of obnoxious, foundation-crumbling justice? Just like that Wayne changed his mind and told Tom to distribute the resolutions to everyone in the lobby. Habeas corpus? More like habeas notpus!

Elsewhere in the bunker, we found Karen still packing up her office, which was strange because it's not like she's had a lot of time in the bunker to really establish herself. What's she been doing for the past fifteen minutes? Maybe she needed to take a quick pitstop in the bathroom to deal with that awful burrito she ate the night before. Anyway, the hubby called up to find out something or another, and Karen sadly informed him, "Bill, I just had to resign." She then added, "Shmoopy."

Well, Bill couldn't believe what had happened, and when he pressed Karen, she yelled that she wouldn't have done it if she didn't have to. She then said she was hopping on a plane to Los Angeles, hung up the phone, and refused to answer it again. Dunh dunh DUNH! And that was all for Karen. See you in four or five weeks. Bon voyage! (I really hope she's flying JetBlue. American, United, and Delta are all showing either Marie Antoinette or A Good Year on their westbound flights this month. Honestly, that could be more painful than any nukes Fayed plans to send off).

Back at CTU, Chloe's Disaster-dar was going off like crazy. Jack wasn't answering his phone, and neither was his backup. Something was wrong!