Back in the infirmary, Chloe tried to rouse Morris to work once again. Unfortunately, he continued to be in the throes of self-pity, thus prompting a slap across the face from Chloe. "Why'd you do that?" he asked, as if that were the most offensive thing that had happened to him all day. Chloe then sassed him about getting over his dumb drill-bit injury and get back to work, but Morris was totally defeated. Personally, I was hoping this was just the setup for some triumphant death wherein he regained his honor by saving thousands. Or something dumb like that. Kind of like Sean Astin last year. Or Ryan Chappelle. Or Mason. Or Sherry Palmer.
Meanwhile, on the road, Marilyn babbled to Jack about China and how she's been thinking about him for the past twenty years. Why, it's almost as if every time she looks into her son's eyes, she sees Jack! She then questioned Jack as to why he "left," which was frustrating because we still have yet to determine where he "left" from. I assume it was some family thing, perhaps THE COMPANY. But who knows? Maybe she was referring to some seafood buffet. SHE HASN'T HAD BOUILLABAISSE SINCE!
Well, this little bonding session was soon interrupted by Philip, who called Marilyn on her cell. He told her to not say his name and then threatened that if she didn't do exactly as he ordered, he would hurt Josh (By all means, hurt away). Philip then had Marilyn say "Thank you, Susan" in order to throw off Jack's scent. Once Marilyn had done this, Susan, er, Philip told her to drive to a different address instead. Any shenanigans would lead to Josh's early demise. And just for shits and giggles, Susan then told Marilyn that he had killed Graem. He probably didn't have to divulge that info, but hey, why not? Susan is one crazy, reckless bitch!
Anyhoo, Jack and Marilyn drove right past Gridenko's hideout, and even though Marilyn was now acting totally nervous and withdrawn and emotional, Jack didn't think anything of it. Funny how he can perceive someone's lies during an interrogation, but put him in a car, and people could tell him they were President Lincoln and he's believe them.
Meanwhile, Gridenko explained a little bit of his evil plan to us. He apparently wanted to get Cold War revenge by blowing up America and pinning it on the Arabs. I didn't really see how that would work as revenge. After all, he wouldn't get the satisfaction of taking credit for the attacks, and secondly, the Cold War was about the spread of communism, not just general destruction. Silly, misguided villain!
Back at CTU, Morris was suddenly up and out of the sickbay, which was nice to see. It's not often that people can cheat death in the infirmary. I could only wonder if this would now set off a deadly chain of Final Destination-esque events.
Elsewhere in the city, Philip and Josh checked into a hotel, but this wasn't the smooth sort of experience we normally expect from a Holiday Inn. No, Josh was becoming cranky and garrulous, much like his cousin/sister did back in the day. "I know you're lying to me!" he said to his grandfather. "Just like my mom! You're all treating me like some stupid, little kid!" Shut up, HE-KIM! You are a stupid, little kid! And you look like Hermie the Elf:

Thanks to Screampillar for that pick-up.
Over in West L.A., Jack and Milo and Marilyn had arrived at the wrong house, just waiting to be ambushed. Just before they headed in, Marilyn had a crisis of conscience and tried to warn Jack, but all of a sudden, he decided not to listen to her, cutting her off and moving forward with the raid. URGH! Sure enough, once then men had infiltrated the house, Jack's bomb-sense went off like crazy. He spotted an explosive in the corner, yelled "BOMB!" and then jumped through a window to safety. A mere second later, the house exploded in a fireball of death.

Me after watching another scene with Wayne Palmer...

Next time, on Extreme Makeover Home Edition...
Meanwhile, Milo and Marilyn, who had been standing afar, hopped in the CTU truck (which may or may not have been a UPS truck at one point) and tried to speed away. Unfortunately, bad guys appeared in ever direction and impeded the truck's egress. Next thing we knew, the truck was driving like crazy all over the street, lawns, driveways -- you name it. The entire scene was not unlike a scene from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Needless to say, one family would certainly be buying a new plastic slide for their children.
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Comments (18)
Great recap B-Side. I always look foward to them!
I think the season isn't as great as the other ones. It is like every three years, they have to make a sucky season to keep us guessing.
Maybe Mandy will somehow come up with Behrooz and be involved. Life would be grand.
1 of 18 | Posted by Junzilla
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Posted on February 15, 2007 8:34 PM
Great re-cap B-Side. I was lawling all the way through it. It was much more entertaining than the actual episode(s). Good thing I get previous seasons of Jack Bauer daily on A&E. It helps me believe that this season can still be salvaged like Day 3 evtually was. Nothing like chopping off limbs to re-gain a viewer's interest!
I concur that Morris is a waste of space and breathable air. I was kinda hoping the terrorists would use that drill on his skull. oh well. At least Milo finally did something viewable and showed some (blue)balls this episode.
What's with the Hilary Swank name-drops? Did I miss something?
2 of 18 | Posted by Firthguy
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Posted on February 16, 2007 7:24 AM
Firthguy - Hilary Swank dropped Chad Lowe like a hot potato. Used to be married, aren't anymore.
3 of 18 | Posted by khirth
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Posted on February 16, 2007 9:27 AM
Hilarious recap. It had all the great elements: a lame president, torture, Chloe sulking, and another broken perimeter.
Love the elf photo (I was wondering who that kid reminded me of, but couldn't quite put my finger on it).
4 of 18 | Posted by soflat
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Posted on February 16, 2007 9:45 AM
".... hopped in the CTU truck (which may or may not have been a UPS truck at one point)"
Heh. My thoughts exactly.
Why isn't Milo qualified to drive one of those black SUVs? Is it because he's a geek? Unfair!
5 of 18 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on February 16, 2007 9:47 AM
zombies. or powers booth. that's all we can hope for. b-side, i respect your loyalty; i even share it to some extent. but this season is tanking.
david palmer already had a dastardly chief of staff who, with the cooperation of the e-vil vice president, lost his executive power in a temporary coup d'etat. and, of course, david palmer was assassinated. so, even though i wouldn't mind seeing wayne palmer killed or, at the last, bound, gagged, and left in a closet, 24 has been there, done that. but they're going to do it again. why?
because it's not real life, but, rather, a badly written TV show with plot holes galore.
the only thing more preposterous than CTU not knowing morris was the only guy around who could arm a nuclear weapon was morris actually conceding to arm a nuclear weapon. i don't care how big a pussy morris is--he knew that the only way he was getting out of that room alive was if jack and the gang came crashing through the windows. if i was him, i'd have been insulting abu fayed and his family with every slur imaginable (like that great scene in 'true romance' when dennis hopper taunts christopher walken) so abu fayed would get pissed and just blow me away. if that didn't work, i'd stall for time. why, at the least, didn't morris try to fake abu fayed out by making the device short circuit or something? why?
because it's not real life, but, rather, a badly written TV show with plot holes galore.
why, when jack's sister-in-law gets the intimidating call from philip, doesn't she just level with jack as soon as she hangs up the phone? given that the man just taunted her with the fact that it was he, not jack, who killed her husband (who also happened to be his own eldest son), wouldn't it occur to her that, sooner or later, philip would probably kill her and her little misfit/future dentist anyway?
because it's not real life, but, rather, a badly written TV show with plot holes galore.
how, how, how did abu fayed get out of that building? how could the producers/directors/writers think they could get away with not even explaining how yet another hard perimeter failed to contain a whole gaggle of arabs with suitcase bombs in a shiny black SUV?
because it's not real life, but, rather, a badly written TV show with plot holes galore.
i know every season of 24 has had these head-slapping improbabilities and stupidities (there's actually a viral video circulating with a montage of jack screaming 'DAMMIT!' over and over and over), but for some reason they used to be easier to swallow. maybe it's just that 24 is running out of tricks--you can only kill off so many presidents, after all--or maybe it's that they're not managing the tension very well (this season's minor characters haven't had much to do--there's no equivalent to dina araz or some of the other non-CTU characters from past seasons).
i will not turn away, but i can't stop pointing out the flaws, either, which range from being laughable to insulting. i take offense at the downward spiral of this show because we know the people who produce it are capable of better. i find it highly ironic that, after winning all of those big awards last year, 24 has become cornier and more improbable than old reruns of charlie's angels and 'the a-team' (now THERE's an idea--bring in mr. T for a cameo; couldn't make the show any sillier).
sorry to be a hater; i'm just depressed to see a great show bomb so miserably. i guess 24 is just sort of like babe ruth: home-run or strikeout are pretty much the only options. 24 has a high batting average, so i won't give up on it, but it's looking like it might need to go back to the minors to rediscover its swing.
6 of 18 | Posted by jack
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Posted on February 16, 2007 10:37 AM
Nice pep talk at the beginning of the recap, B-Side! I've been disappointed with this season so far, but after reading that, I'm going to be more positive! LOL!
That was some pretty gruesome torture tactics they were applying to Morris. I thought for sure he was toast when they brought him back the CTU infirmary...not many people get out of there alive! And him and Chloe together?? So NOT believable.
This recap was better than the actual episode ! Loved the line about Marilyn's response to Graem's death "Whatevs..do you have a mojito?" LOL!
I wonder what's gonna happen to Palmer 2.0? And that was kinda stupid of him to talk to the VP in front of Assad. All I know is that I can't stand that little elf Tom. So Keebler-esque!
Can anyone tell me what movie or show the actress that played Rita was in? It's driving me nuts...!
7 of 18 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 16, 2007 10:41 AM
Jojobear -
Rita is also Nathan Patrelli's paralyzed wife on Heroes.
8 of 18 | Posted by Firthguy
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Posted on February 16, 2007 11:20 AM
..and I'm a complete idiot since I'm not even thinking of the right character. Shows how much 24 is keeping my attention these days.
9 of 18 | Posted by Firthguy
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Posted on February 16, 2007 11:22 AM
I thought that with this two-hour episode, 24 at least made a move towards an upswing. There's still hope!
I think Tom isn't involved in the takeover so much as trying to find out what's going on -- he seems loyal, deep down, even if he still is the eccentric little man he was on Ally McBeal. (Best John Cage voice: "I find myself strangely drawn to this president....") That said, though.... yawn....
Since when do we let former terrorists -- or any outsider -- know the location of a Presidential bunker, much less INTO it, much less sit alone with the president? Methinks the secret service is looking for a takeover to happen, too.... But anything Palmer 2.0 related, including subplots with Tom, is a major yawner.
MAJOR, MAJOR PLUS -- No Sistah Palmer in the whole two hours!!!! No Walid!!! Perhaps the 24 gods are hearing us!
Personally, I like Morris, but I have to wonder what rubber-like substance his skin is made off that he could be beaten with baseball bats at length, and then be just bebopping around CTU without so much as a limp. What's in that English tea anyway?
OTOH, his brain is obviously in his shoulder and leaked out the drill hole -- no stalling? He gave him a device that worked? Yeah, Morris, some guilt is rather in order. No worries, though -- we'll just put this recently tortured, mentally-devastated man right back at a CTU terminal.
About turning off the heat sensors and not being able to track a helicopter, um, yeah. Ditto, not being able to chase anyone out of the CTU parking lot.
I do hold out hope that the whole ultra-weird family connection could come to fruit starting in the next ep when Jack realizes Papa Bauer is evil. At the same time, though, what, exactly is Philip hoping to save THE COMPANY for if he kills off all his heirs?
10 of 18 | Posted by Deb
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Posted on February 16, 2007 11:30 AM
Thank you Firthguy! I've seen her somewhere else too though...guess I'll look it up! Thanks for responding to my question! :)
Wow, it's true that we weren't subjected to Sista Palmer for 2 hours. I like her so much, I didn't even miss her, LOL!
11 of 18 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 16, 2007 12:13 PM
Am I the only one who enjoyed this episode? Sure, it was full of plot holes, but it was a definite improvement upon the rest of the season. Ah well. My uncle just bought the first 5 seasons on DVD, so I'll always have the memories...
12 of 18 | Posted by parttimecynic
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Posted on February 16, 2007 8:14 PM
No, parttimecynic, you weren't the only one -- as I said above, I thought the show moved in a positive direction with this episode. But as jack says, it's hard not to point out that overall the show's been slipping -- a lot.
One of the reasons, frankly, that this past Monday exceeded a lot of the others is because we just had more of Jack. He's not nearly as present as he has been in past seasons, and I have to wonder if that's been a conscious choice by the people making the show (Kiefer included.). If so, it's the wrong choice, and it leaves us hopping from inane subplot to inane subplot. 24 with Jack onscreen most of the time always equals better 24....
13 of 18 | Posted by Deb
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Posted on February 17, 2007 9:50 AM
I dont know if I said this in the last recap,but if so I'll say it again. I wonder if the producers are regretting killing off so many good characters last season. We lost Edgar, Michelle, Tony and David Palmer. They should have kept one or two around. I think one reason maybe that this season doesnt seem as good is because so many of our favorite characters are gone. Really, all we have are Jack and Chloe now. I miss Tony :(
14 of 18 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on February 17, 2007 10:50 PM
To Jojobear (#7):
Rita aka Missy Crider's IMDB page.
Nothing spectacular, but I remember her from the CSI ep she was on.
15 of 18 | Posted by crazee4mullets
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Posted on February 18, 2007 5:45 AM
Great recap, it's been awhile since I've checked in.
Did anyone else notice there was quite a high "DAMMIT" count for hour one of this? Was Keifer trying to get everyone drunk before nine?
I think it might be time to bring on the live webcast 24 drinking game! Every time Jack says, "DAMMIT", he tortures someone, or the CTU phones go "beep, bee-boop" you have to do a shot (of "Jack" - what else?).
Firthguy - isn't Nathan Patrelli also Natalie Maines' paralyzed wife?
16 of 18 | Posted by DrinkDAMMITDrink!
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Posted on February 19, 2007 12:20 AM
Morris was being beated with baseball bats and had a drill into his shoulder ... but still came back to work after an hour or so in CTU medical. Still doesn't beat Tony coming back an hour or two after having his carotid atery sliced open 3 years ago, though...
This show still does some things right ... I liked it when Jack had to steady his hand when disarming the bomb, thought it was a nice touch...
17 of 18 | Posted by dumbanddumber
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Posted on February 20, 2007 6:32 AM
I agree with the whole "LOYTALTY" thing. I get that way with pretty much any show that I've invested in for at least two years. I mean, if you start dropping out now, then they're going to cancel the show early and not even finish the season, then you'll have those of us who were loyal hating you for it!!!
Anyway, I just wanted to point out the look on Jack's face when he realized that Morris gave Fayed "something that works!!!!" It was almost as if he were saying, "I was tortured by the Chinese for two years and you couldn't stnad two minutes you pussy!!!!????" That was awesome!!!
Also, I initially thought the boy was Jack's son, but when I thought about it, Kim is like five years older than him. Now I know he could have cheated on Terry, but he was torn up about sleeping with Nina and Terry and Jack were on a break then. It jsut doesn't seem in his character to cheat on his wife. But that's just me. And it is 24 so who knows?
18 of 18 | Posted by Sam
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Posted on February 20, 2007 9:35 AM