Well, the Mo-Man got all prissy about Milo's commendation, which could only mean one thing: forthcoming suicide. (Crossing my fingers) We haven't had a good CTU suicide since crazy Maya Driscoll sliced her wrists up in the infirmary (a.k.a. The Steely Hall of Death). Good times. (By the way, I am very much for the return of Erin Driscoll. Somebody's gotta save poor Alberta Watson. Her latest project is called A Lobster Tale. It's like a cry for help).
Back in the field, Jack informed Marilyn that she was gonna have to play tough with Philip -- an amusing prospect considering that Marilyn looked unable to resist the demands of a dying leaf, let alone her father-in-law. Nevertheless, Mar-Mar was instructed to stand firm and not tell Philip the location of Gridenko's house, at least not until Philip spilled the beans as to where he was keeping Josh. Of course, part of this operation also relied on that one henchman calling up his boss and pretending like he had Marilyn in captivity. "How do you know he won't betray us?" Marilyn asked Jack of the bad guy.
"He wants to live," Jack replied. C'mon. Don't even act like this guy was going to survive this episode anyway.
Over at the Doubletree of Doom, Philip exercised some FCC-like censorship and shut off Josh's TV, something that truly irked the mop-topped ragamuffin -- so much so that he had no other entertainment option but to go snooping around and listen in on his grandfather, who had since stepped into the next room to deal with Marilyn on the phone. Keep in mind that Philip left the door to his bedroom completely open; so Josh could hear everything, including when Grandpa seethed into the phone that unless Marilyn gave up Gridenko's address, "I will walk into the next room and KILL HIM!!" Here's a good rule of thumb: next time you want to kill someone in the next room, it's best to not squawk about it loudly on the phone ten feet away. Oh, and you probably shouldn't turn the TV off during said conversation either.
Anyway, Marilyn held firm and didn't give up Gridenko's address, forcing Philip to bark to his henchman, "Bring her here to me at the Grandmont Hotel, room 2132." Ha -- you're so busted, PHIL! Meanwhile, just as Philip got off the phone, he looked up and saw Josh inching towards the front door. Stupid kid. Why not just haul ass and get out of there? Anyway, Josh, who seemed to share the same IDIOT gene as Kim, made up some feeble excuse about wanting to get a soda, but of course, Philip was all "What about the minibar?" and then "What about room service?" Seriously, Josh. A soda? That's the best you could come up with?
Well, soon this charade became tiresome; so Philip finally took out his gun and announced, "No one's life is worth the destruction of everything I've built." Sadly, this is what he's built:
After the break, we then headed back to the Presidential bunker where Tom was once again meeting with Reed in the utility closet-cum-nefarious nook of treason. Tom handed over the much-coveted Presidential itinerary, but now Reed wanted more. An assassin was en route to take down Palmer 2.0, and he was going to need clearance to the bunker. Oh, and on top of that, they were going to pin the entire thing on Assad. Suddenly, a look of doubt flashed on Tom's face, and we knew he was going to chicken out by the end of the hour.
Anyway, Tom left the closet and headed into the President's office where Wayne sat at a computer and joyously said, "Oh, Tom! COME IN!" He then added, "I was just playing this delightful game called Minesweeper. Have you heard of it? It's really quite challenging." Okay, Wayne didn't say that. Instead, he expressed a desire for Tom to look over Assad's speech, and when Tom acted all "I thought you didn't love me anymore," Wayne reassured him that he still valued his opinions greatly, and just because they had a tiff didn't mean they couldn't be besties anymore. That's right, Tom. FEEL THE GUILT!
We then checked in on Gridenko, whose crony was busy "recalculating the profile" of the terrorist targets (whatever that meant), and when we were done marveling at the pure evilness of that situation, we headed off to a random bodega in which Morris was puttering around, possibly suiting up for some afternoon suicide to come. As we all know, whenever characters enter convenient stores, pandemonium ensues. Must I reference Kim's ill-fated encounter with a petty criminal at the 7-Eleven? Season two. Look it up.
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Comments (11)
Whoa! It's an unshaved pussy!
1 of 11 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on February 26, 2007 8:54 AM
I know there's only a handful of us who comment, but where's the latest Desperate Housewives recap??
2 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 26, 2007 10:18 AM
o.k., b-side, i'm with you. if powers booth can't save the season, surely gregory itzin can (maybe they'll do it together!). bringing back pres. pussy and giving him al gore's beard and flannel shirt was a genius stroke on multiple levels, and couldn't have come at a better time--both to save the show and to poke fun at pretentious hollywood liberal do-gooders. here's an inconvenient truth for you: joel surnow is one hollywood big shot who will not be writing a check to obama or hillary any time soon, and, given the popularity of giant black SUV's amongst both terrorists and CTU tac-teams on '24,' i'm guessing he doesn't drive a prius, either.
couldn't decide which was the best line of the night: jack's 'how could i be so stupid?' or his dad describing a career as a civil servant as if it were a starring role in gay midget porn.
biggest catharsis of the night: chad lowe venting the indignity of being utterly eclipsed, humiliated, and then dumped by hillary swank by kicking the crap out of that poor schlub from ally mcbeal.
biggest irony of the night: compared to wayne palmer, president pussy seems a lot less pussy-ish.
now we just need jean smart and her jubblies (from the morning after reaction to helen mirren at the oscars last night, it's good to be a G-MILF these days) to team up again with jack and the indestructible secret service agent to save the world yet again! for the moment, my faith is restored.
3 of 11 | Posted by jack
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Posted on February 26, 2007 11:17 AM
WOW, President Pussy is back! Now, I'm utterly confused! Can't wait to see what transpires on tonight's episode.
Milo and Morris certainly do annoy, but I think they'll be with us for a while. Hey, Milo made it out of the infirmary, so that's gotta count for something.
If I was Jack's kid, er, nephew, I would have hauled ass out of that hotel room as soon as Gramps said he was gonna KILL me- DUH! Nice family!
Looking forward to the next recap!
4 of 11 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 26, 2007 12:32 PM
I've been looking forward to this recap all week! When I saw President Pussy, the first thing I said to my husband was, "What will B-Side have to say about this??"
It's funny but until I read the article in the New Yorker, it never occurred to me that this show comes from a conservative perspective. I guess I always assumed that President Pussy and the people he associated with were Republicans, hence their obsession with maintaining control over the oil resources and their willingness to deal with criminals in order to further their goals. The political connotations behind the notions that the United States is constantly threatened by terrorists and that we should cheer the people who do anything to stop them just went right over my head.
Guess it's because I live in one of the few conservative areas of California - I've learned to put my head in the sand in order to keep my sanity!
5 of 11 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on February 26, 2007 1:16 PM
And, forgot to say that I always believed the sainted David Palmer was a Democrat (because there are no black Republicans, obviously.)
6 of 11 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on February 26, 2007 1:22 PM
Whew, I was afraid you had given up on 24 but I should have known better. Great recap.While Surnow is a conservative, I do not think the show is meant to be too politically biased. There are storylines that both liberals and conservatives can identify with. Plus, I read both Rush Limbaugh and Barbra Streisand are big fans of the show, so I think it's what you make of it. Can't wait to see PP back in action tonight.
7 of 11 | Posted by 24Ever
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Posted on February 26, 2007 1:48 PM
YESSS! President Pussy is back! I wonder if he and Martha are still together.
8 of 11 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on February 26, 2007 8:35 PM
I love Martha! I don't think she would have stayed with PP, her heart belonged to Aaron, the Secret Service guy!
9 of 11 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on March 1, 2007 12:18 PM
Regarding all the political stuff... well, if you really want to say anything, let's not forget that the bombings are not really Middle Eastern Terrorists, but the real people behind it are Russians. Sorry, but given the political atmosphere today, I would call that a cop-out because we wouldn't want to offend any terrorists!
10 of 11 | Posted by KSflyer
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Posted on March 2, 2007 11:12 AM
yeah this season needs a serious savin'. I do wonder what Logan is up to, should be interesting.
11 of 11 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on March 2, 2007 11:25 PM