Anyway, Morris purchased some cigarettes and Red Bull, which didn't seem very suicidal, but when the clerk asked if he could get him anything else, Morris switched up his order and asked for some whiskey. Better to dull the pain of a bullet through the head! So long, Morris! Oh, and just in case we weren't sure he was gonna kill himself, he didn't even bother to take his change when he left the store (nor did he take his recently purchased Red Bull). Morris, just because you're going to commit suicide doesn't mean you should be wasteful. For shame.
Well, Morris walked around the corner of this fine establishment and promptly chugged his whiskey. My heartbeat quickened, just because this would surely lead to some frustrating twist in the action, but alas, Morris then threw up the booze (or rather, spat it out as we later learned). What gives? Worst pre-suicide libation EVER!
Conveniently, Chloe's SuicideSense kicked in, and she decided to call Morris to find out what was going on. I really don't remember if he answered the call or not because once it became apparent that he was not committing suicide, I completely lost interest in the storyline.
Meanwhile, over at the hotel, Jack was downstairs in the garage, wiring up Mariliyn. He totally snuck a peak of her undressing, and moments later, when he fastened the wire to her waist, he conveniently felt her up and brushed her hair out of her face. Hey, wasn't he just calling out for Audrey like eight hours ago? You spend two years in a Chinese prison, and the only thing that gets you by is the hope that you'll be reunited with your lady lover, and then less than twelve hours after arriving in the U.S., you've moved onto your sister-in-law? Jack, you DAWG!!!
Back at CTU, the producers decided to throw a bone to the ladies by bandying about a shirtless Milo in the infirmary. Morris, who had since returned from his fake bender, popped in to say hi, and as they talked, Milo sensed that something was off about his British counterpart. What could it be??? And do we care?
Meanwhile, over at the Presidential bunker, Wayne was now reading Tom's suggestions to Assad's speech, and dammit if he didn't just love them all. Palmer 2.0 bestowed his advisor with compliments and requested that he be present during the speech. He then added, "I love you more than Julia Milliken."
Well, realizing that it was kind of cool to be the President's best bud, Tom returned to the utility closet looking pale and confused. Reed, meanwhile, was positively jittery. He needed the authorization for the assassin now! Tom said okay, okay. He'd be on top of it. Reed then left the room, and Tom called up the ranking secret service agent and told him he had something very, very important to discuss with him. Clearly, he was going to rat out Reed. However, when the agent said he couldn't leave his post, Tom offered to come to him instead. Oh Tom. Sweet vindication for you! Of course, we knew Tom would never make it to the agent. It's a well-worn tradition that when anyone has something vital to pass along in person, they usually die or are captured first. What I didn't expect, however, was how quickly Tom was taken down. As soon as he opened the door to the closet, Reed barged in and knocked him over with a swift chop. I think that's my nightmare: opening a door and having a raging Chad Lowe strike me for no reason.
Anyway, Reed began beating up Tom, accusing him of not having the balls to do what he said he'd do. Tom muttered something about how killing a President is never justified, but soon he was beaten down into an unconscious pulp, helpless to stop Reed from taking his badge and calling off that Secret Service agent. To think, this is what it was like every day for Hilary Swank.
Back at CTU, some operation was going to start in two minutes, but before that could happen, backup modules needed to be reset. This meant that Chloe and Morris could step out of the Situation Room and talk -- specifically, about the booze on his breath. Fearing that her ex had fallen off the wagon, Chloe threatened to tell Buchanan, but Morris convinced her that he had spat, not swallowed. Reluctantly, Chloe backed off, but not without promising to keep an eye on him. I still don't know why the producers saved Morris from going the way of so many other suicidal characters. The sooner he leaves CTU, the sooner we get our old, nutty Chloe back.
« Recap: Friday Night Lights: Sexy Time. High Five! | Main | Recap: Top Design: The Wrath of Mini-Me »
Comments (11)
Whoa! It's an unshaved pussy!
1 of 11 | Posted by joyfulchicken
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:54 AM
I know there's only a handful of us who comment, but where's the latest Desperate Housewives recap??
2 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:18 AM
o.k., b-side, i'm with you. if powers booth can't save the season, surely gregory itzin can (maybe they'll do it together!). bringing back pres. pussy and giving him al gore's beard and flannel shirt was a genius stroke on multiple levels, and couldn't have come at a better time--both to save the show and to poke fun at pretentious hollywood liberal do-gooders. here's an inconvenient truth for you: joel surnow is one hollywood big shot who will not be writing a check to obama or hillary any time soon, and, given the popularity of giant black SUV's amongst both terrorists and CTU tac-teams on '24,' i'm guessing he doesn't drive a prius, either.
couldn't decide which was the best line of the night: jack's 'how could i be so stupid?' or his dad describing a career as a civil servant as if it were a starring role in gay midget porn.
biggest catharsis of the night: chad lowe venting the indignity of being utterly eclipsed, humiliated, and then dumped by hillary swank by kicking the crap out of that poor schlub from ally mcbeal.
biggest irony of the night: compared to wayne palmer, president pussy seems a lot less pussy-ish.
now we just need jean smart and her jubblies (from the morning after reaction to helen mirren at the oscars last night, it's good to be a G-MILF these days) to team up again with jack and the indestructible secret service agent to save the world yet again! for the moment, my faith is restored.
3 of 11 | Posted by jack
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 11:17 AM
WOW, President Pussy is back! Now, I'm utterly confused! Can't wait to see what transpires on tonight's episode.
Milo and Morris certainly do annoy, but I think they'll be with us for a while. Hey, Milo made it out of the infirmary, so that's gotta count for something.
If I was Jack's kid, er, nephew, I would have hauled ass out of that hotel room as soon as Gramps said he was gonna KILL me- DUH! Nice family!
Looking forward to the next recap!
4 of 11 | Posted by Jojobear
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 12:32 PM
I've been looking forward to this recap all week! When I saw President Pussy, the first thing I said to my husband was, "What will B-Side have to say about this??"
It's funny but until I read the article in the New Yorker, it never occurred to me that this show comes from a conservative perspective. I guess I always assumed that President Pussy and the people he associated with were Republicans, hence their obsession with maintaining control over the oil resources and their willingness to deal with criminals in order to further their goals. The political connotations behind the notions that the United States is constantly threatened by terrorists and that we should cheer the people who do anything to stop them just went right over my head.
Guess it's because I live in one of the few conservative areas of California - I've learned to put my head in the sand in order to keep my sanity!
5 of 11 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 1:16 PM
And, forgot to say that I always believed the sainted David Palmer was a Democrat (because there are no black Republicans, obviously.)
6 of 11 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 1:22 PM
Whew, I was afraid you had given up on 24 but I should have known better. Great recap.While Surnow is a conservative, I do not think the show is meant to be too politically biased. There are storylines that both liberals and conservatives can identify with. Plus, I read both Rush Limbaugh and Barbra Streisand are big fans of the show, so I think it's what you make of it. Can't wait to see PP back in action tonight.
7 of 11 | Posted by 24Ever
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 1:48 PM
YESSS! President Pussy is back! I wonder if he and Martha are still together.
8 of 11 | Posted by mangos
|
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:35 PM
I love Martha! I don't think she would have stayed with PP, her heart belonged to Aaron, the Secret Service guy!
9 of 11 | Posted by Jojobear
|
Posted on March 1, 2007 12:18 PM
Regarding all the political stuff... well, if you really want to say anything, let's not forget that the bombings are not really Middle Eastern Terrorists, but the real people behind it are Russians. Sorry, but given the political atmosphere today, I would call that a cop-out because we wouldn't want to offend any terrorists!
10 of 11 | Posted by KSflyer
|
Posted on March 2, 2007 11:12 AM
yeah this season needs a serious savin'. I do wonder what Logan is up to, should be interesting.
11 of 11 | Posted by couchpotato
|
Posted on March 2, 2007 11:25 PM