Jack assures Benton that he'll be gone in the morning. Unfortunately, Jack has also been struck with the always-irritating Whispering Disease. It quickly spreads to Benton, rendering their entire conversation inaudible. I'll just assume they're planning a surprise Spongebob appearance for Charlie Brown's birthday party. Benton waxes philosophical for a while and makes sure we all know that he's at peace with his life. I wonder why? He begs Jack to stay, but Jack knows that he can't swing a dead cat without hitting some sort of trouble or government agent or nuclear football, and so they say goodbye.
Some guy - teacher, maybe? old, dumb student? - fights with the local UN supply deliveryman over whether Juma the General is a bad guy or not. Well, his name is halfway to Jumangi, so he'll be fun and whimsical at first, then deadly and full of spiders. Charlie Brown tells Benton that his brother went into town, so Benton takes off to rescue the boys because, as he casually quips, "This is Sangala. I'm not taking any chances." I imagine this could lead to a nice tourism campaign for Sangala, should it one day exist.
Take a chance on Sangala!
Meanwhile, the boys' innocent game of soccer suddenly erupts in a kidnapping, as so many innocent games of soccer eventually do. J. Timbo rounds them up and informs them that they are now soldiers. This doesn't sit well with Desmond and his crony, who attempt to make a break for it while J.Timbo takes some valuable time to berate one kid for peeing his pants. They are soon pursued by J.Timbo and his inept colleague, who shoots down the two kids. So, maybe not the best method of escape, but better than the other kids' ideas:
"Quick! Into the net!"
Oh, did we mention it's Inauguration Day? A scantily-clad woman and her chiseled beefcake try to get some tongue wrestling in before they head over to the Capitol, but Chris the Jumpy Guy calls and ruins all their fun. He tells informs the beefcake that he's gotten his grubby little hands on something big, and they need to meet up so that he can - HALT THE PROCEEDINGS! NINJA HYUNDAI COMMERCIAL!
Subtle.
Man, look at all those features. GPS and shit. Wow. Oh, um, right, beefcake, evidence, imminent death of jumpy guy. Right. Roger says he doesn't have time, but Chris promises to be there in twenty minutes, and thank the good Lord all of this boring talking is accompanied by a split screen of scantily clad girlfriend posing in her bra. Cars and boobies trump African coups any day of the week! She gets mad that rotten hooligan Chris is coming over, as they're now going to be late for - gird your loins - his MOTHER'S inauguration! Lady president? That means more boobies!
"So, tanning just my face - bad idea?"
Madame President-Elect is escorted by her tweedy husband down the hall, so that they may engage in a little West Wingery. And suddenly, Christmas comes early! Popping up from under a proverbial bridge is the little troll Tom Lennox, who you may remember from last season as the hilariously snide Chief of Staff. He pulls her away from Mr. Tweedy to inform her of the imminent coup, but sadly does not congratulate her on not tripping over her own ineptitude.
And bam - there's Jowls! I mean, Daniels! So I guess he's President, which means that Wayne Palmer is...what? Dead? Still in a coma? Bumbling incompetently as the head of some other nation? Anyway, Daniels is video conferencing with Sangala's Prime Minister with the help of CISCO TELEPRESENCE, which is almost as exciting as cars and sweater kittens. The PM wants military assistance from the US, which Daniels says he can't give. Tom barges in to inform him that Taylor, the new president, wants to weigh in.
Daniels takes Taylor into the Oval Office, leaving her husband to tweedy up the hall. She disagrees with Daniels' decision not to send military aid, so he punches in the face and hurls her out the window. Well, no, but they have a heated discussion about Sangala and genocides and all that fun stuff, and he says that he has ordered the evacuation of all US nationals. Well, this doesn't sit well with Mama President, but we'll just let it rest for now so we can cut back to Africa.
Benton easily finds the body of one of the boys, and thusly concludes that he is dead. I wonder how?
"Larry, stop! You're just perpetuating the stereotype!"
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Comments (1)
Well, Screampiller, this is my first time reading your work but since you seem to be a veteran of the site (*sniff* Flipit, J-Unit, and B-Side *sniff*), I know you'll be missed.
Too bad 24 seasons aren't less than 2 years apart. Otherwise, we could've had something really special...
The season 7 opener was ok, nothing shocking or spectacular. I expected more, though. This show jumped the shark for me when (the real) President Palmer was shot in Season 5 premiere. This season looks like it could be interesting, though...
Charlie Brown. HA! That kid really was annoying. Good call on his nickname.
I wonder if the new lady President Elect has anything to do with Fox's owner, Rupert Murdoch, expecting (and supporting)a President Hillary? Hmm...
1 of 1 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 26, 2008 6:11 PM