She's not a smurf...she's Plum Puddin'!
Anyhoo, D-Bag grabs his suit coat and starts high-tailing it out of HQ. Remember when Dead Slut suggested they do just that 15 minutes ago? That was a good plan. As tense techno music plays, he passes some colleagues in the hallway and then breaks into a sprint! Unfortunately for him, he's intercepted by some agents wearing SWAT jackets and his very angry daddy boss Moss. Larry tosses D-Bag against the wall and demands to know what the hell is going on! D-Bag requests his lawyer, so By-The-Books Moss has no choice but to toss him into a holding room while making grumbly growly faces. See, Larry...this is why bending the rules can be fun. Don'cha think it would be super satisfying to beat the bejeesus out of D-Bag right now?
Back at the hospital, Renee is leaning against a wall in the ER finishing up a number set to the tune of 'There Are Worse Things I Could Do' while staring sadly into space. As the number finishes, Rosa comes rolling up in her wheelchair (which evidently has an Inspector Gadget-like helicopter function...getting her to the hospital from her place in NorthWest DC in no time! Cool!).
There are worse things I could do
Than cause an innocent death or two
Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm a torturer and no good
I suppose it could be true
Rosa wants to know where her sister is, and Renee has the unfortunate task of informing her that Marika didn't make it, there was an accident, but she was totally a hero for helping them catch the bad guy! She finishes her sad little story by handing Rosa the bag containing her sister's jewelry, and Rosa flips her shit big time! She really rips into Agent Walker for promising to protect her sister and then failing. If only Rosa had heard the heart-breaking number Renee just finished, she'd realize that Renee is actually very very sad about Marika's passing. At any rate, Walker can't really do anything but stand there and cry while Rosa unloads on her.
How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Jack, sensing Renee is in trouble, calls her away from the howling woman in the wheelchair. He informs Renee that they uncovered the information on the drive and that arrests will be made within the hour! In other words, "it's over." Walker, still crying after both the handicap harangue and her emotional solo from earlier counters with "It's not over for Rosa!" Jack does his best not to roll his eyes in front of the emotionally unstable woman, and tells her AGAIN that the "didn't have a choice" and they saved thousands of lives, so she's just gonna have to suck it up!
As he walks away, Renee decides to push his buttons and tells him she read her file and wonders if that's what he told himself after his wife died. Bad move, Renee! Jack gets angry and demands to know what she wants from him! She tells him she wants to know if he feels anything at all. To test him, she slaps him, twice, while demanding to know if he felt that! On her third attempt, Jack catches her hand, and she collapses into him in a sobbing mess. He tries to tell her she'll get used to the "making painful sacrifices" thing and that she'll find a way to live with herself. She asks what if she can't, and he tells her to quit! On his way out of the hospital, he tells her that he really didn't appreciate the whole "having a gun pulled on him" thing, and that next time she pulls a stunt like that, she better be ready to use it! Her response: "I did." Mournful music plays as Jack makes his exit.
He's a little depressed that this is the most action he's gotten in a couple of years.
Act V opens in the White House, where the Taylor women are reunited. First Daughter Olivia immediately wants to know what happened to her father, and Madame Prez informs her about about the government plot and how Mr. Taylor uncovered it. Olivia wants to know who these people are, and see her father. The President, of course, can't share this information or allow Olivia to leave the safety of the White House...so First Daughter gets all Sassy-pants with her. The women get into a battle of wills and burst into a spirited cover of 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better'. We, the viewers desperately need a little of the back story here, because Olivia in in danger of becoming the new annoying character that we all love to hate.
Yes I can. Yes I can. Yes I can.
No you can't. No You can't. No you can't.
Thankfully, Madame Prez is called out of the office by Bill Buchanan. He informs her that the database has been retrieved from Dubaku and that in contains the names of about a hundred corrupt individuals within the government. This is exactly what they had been working towards! President Taylor is super pleased by this news, and after being assured the FBI has already begun acting on the information, tells Bill she owes him a debt of gratitude. Bill takes the opportunity to advocate for Jack, telling her she owes Jack gratitude as well, and he believes the Senate hearings are a witch hunt and personal crusade on the part of Senator Red Forman Blaine Mayer. He asks her to please speak with the Senator on Jack's behalf. And she tells him she'll think about it. Bill, satisfied with this answer, leaves her in the Oval Office where she ponders the events of the day thus far.
We cut to Jack, who is relaxing on the steps of the Capitol, enjoying a glorious sunset behind the Washington Monument, and patting himself on the back for a job well done. C'mon Jack, you've done this 6 times before...it's only been 10 hours, something else has to come up!
This isn't a funny screen capture, per se...I just thought it was a gorgeous shot of the town I used to call home. I can put anything I want in these recaps, so sue me! Actually, I probably shouldn't have said that. The whole town is crawling with lawyers. I meant...Oh, nevermind...I'm shutting up now.
Just then, Tony Almeida comes and joins Jack on the steps. Jack is a little pissed off at Tony, because he was supposed to turn himself in after everything was over. Tony tells Jack "it ain't over yet." Apparently, Almeida has been following up on a lead through another member of Emerson's crew. He has excellent intelligence that another attack is imminent, this time spear-headed by General Juma! Jack wants to know why Tony doesn't just pass this information along to the FBI and call it a day, and Tony tells him that the attack is going to occur within the hour, and the FBI, with it's sprawling infrastructure and resources, just won't be able to react in time. Stopping this attack on a "high value" target is a two-man operation. Almeida also tells Jack that Ryan Burnett, who happens to be Senator Mayer's chief of staff, is involved in the planning. As Tony takes off to save the day, he places his hand on Jack's shoulder and tells him he needs his help. If Jack is in, he should meet Tony on the corner of First and Constitution. Is Jack in for another "Saving the World" operation today? Hmmm...I wonder!?
For good times
And bad times
I'll be on your side foever more
In a split-screen, we see Ryan Burnett working away at his desk, while Larry Moss informs his tribe about the government infiltration business. Ryan gets called into the Senator's office, and told that President Taylor is calling him to the White House to discuss Jack Bauer. The Senator tells Ryan to grab his laptop and come along for the ride. As he prepares to leave with Senator Red Mayer, Burnett gets a text message saying "Units in Place...Operation on Schedule." This prompts a huge "Oh Shit!" look to cross Ryan's face, because the target is totally the White House!
Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum!
And there you have it, Gasmii! I thought this was the third strong episode in a row. I had a few issues with the bizarre lingering facial expression shots with all the moody staring off into space. But at least it gave me something to make fun of! I'm excited to see what happens. Any predictions? Other than Tony still being a bad-guy and Kanin somehow being involved (notice how he REALLY wanted Prez Taylor back at the White House?)...I don't really know where things are going. And, you know what? I kinda dig that! I like surprises. The first third of the season was a little predictable. Let's see what's up next!
"I thought your recap was dreadful! A lot of the musical references were forced, and I think you are a wanker!"
« Amazing Race: It Puts the Lotion on Its Face | Main | TVgasm Radio NOW »
Comments (4)
Act IV opens in the FBI Nurse's office, which they had to put into HQ after Janis accidentally infested everyone with a particularly nasty case of feline lice.
Haha, best line of the recap and so true.
Also good call on DeadSlut, the first minute I saw her I knew she was D-E-D.
1 of 4 | Posted by johncon966 | Posted on February 26, 2009 2:43 PM
Tell Simon to take a hike! ;-) This was awesome - you should put that on video!
I think my favorites are Walker/Bauer, Taylor (the O face, hysterical!), dead Dubaku and Plum Pudding. The judges from the Muppets were great too!
I think Ethan's up to something too. I'm split 50/50 on Tony. Renee's starting to annoy the eff out of me, she's worse than Jiminy Cricket.
2 of 4 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on February 26, 2009 9:32 PM
@ Johncon
Thanks! Janis needs to wash her hair badly! Who did Janeane Garofalo piss off in wardrobe to be stuck with that do and purple outfit for the season?
@ JJnoza
Now that the threat is moving on to the White House and Jack is teamed up with Tony again, let's hope we get a little break from Renee for a while!
I'm taking a break from videos, haha! But we did have a post-mortem at the production office and discuss ways to improve/shorten for next time. I may try again in a few weeks.
3 of 4 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on February 27, 2009 5:32 AM
>Renee's starting to annoy the eff out of me
omg yes! I'm almost willing to see Kim Bauer come back because I think she may be less annoying than Renee. :)
Wow....Grease AND Hair musical references in one recap?! Excellent! :)
Great episode - greater recap....made me laugh out loud several times - which is weird because I'm alone at the office today....hope the cleaning crew isn't here... lol!
4 of 4 | Posted by Wildheart | Posted on February 28, 2009 1:59 PM