While the Feds storm the White House, Jack is holding things down in Hostage Central. In between gunning down bad guys, he tells the wounded Aaron Pierce to go save the President. Pierce grabs an automatic weapon from one of the terrorists and escorts the Prez and First Daughter out of the line of fire, while Jack and the Feds take out more and more members of Juma's crew.
Across the room, a wounded Juma tells his man Ngozi to kill all the hostages and says "The President is Mine!" As Ngozi enters the room. Dick-Head Pansy-Pants Senator Mayer is useful for the first time when he scream "No!" like a little girl. Jack, hearing the disruption, takes Ngozi out and then heads over towards Juma, gun drawn. Jack barks "Don't Move! Don't.You.Move!" What does Juma do? Why he reaches for his gun, giving Jack the green light to pump him full of hot lead. Sayonara Generale! The African crew is no more, and we're on to white bad guys now!

While the Feds continue to sweep into the Hallway and secure the White House and President, Jack notices Bill lying prone in the entrance to the safe room. As Jack walks towards Bill, Larry and Renee sweep into the White House to take control and make sure the President is safe. Renee notices Jack, who slumps to the ground next to his dead buddy and fights back tears. Renee looks at Jack sadly, Larry barks for her to keep moving, Jack continues to fight back tears, hostages are escorted to safely, and we get a truly gruesome image of Bill's corpse as we cut to break with a silent clock! Bye Bye Bill!
When we return, President Taylor is moodily staring off into space while some storm-trooper dude comes in to update her. I'm not sure what agency he's with, but he has a giant american flag decal on his shirt, so he's the Captain of Team America (F*ck, Yeah!) Captain America tells the Prez they are still making sure the building is secure, but once they know it is, she and Olivia will be transported to Andrews AirForce Base in order to ensure their safety. Lady Ballz Prez is having none of that! She tells Captain America she's staying put! The American People need to know that their Prez is in the White House. So can he be a good boy and make it happen/keep her safe there? She dismisses Captain America, telling him she wants to speak personally to the families of all the victims, and also wants an update on First Hubby.

When he leaves, Olivia comes over. They smile at each other and Madame Prez asks how Agent Pierce is doing. Olivia says fine, and Ma Taylor asks "What about you?" Olivia is doing OK, all things considered, but is pretty damn shaken by the experience. Madame Prez offers some stoic words and reminds her that they have a lot of "brave" people to be thankful to. A random dude comes in to let the Prez know they have VP ScumBag on the horn, and before she heads off to take the call she asks Olivia if she meant what she said about putting the past behind them. Olivia says yes, and the Prez says "I don't ever want to lose you again." Olivia says "You won't" as the Prez takes off to talk to the VP. In a completely odd change of tone, Olivia and Aaron make eye contact across the room and kinda wink at each other.
Jack is still pining away over Bill's dead body, when Renee comes up to let him know the President is safe and offer her condolences. Jack tells her how the original plan had him taking the CH-4 bullet and Bill saving the day, and Renee tells him Bill died a hero...protecting his country. Jack finally gets up off the ground and tells her "This isn't over yet!"

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Comments (8)
Great episode! Hilarious recap! Thanks, Dogsnaxx!
Who else thinks Zombie Spice looks like Miss Coco Peru?!?!?!?
1 of 8 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on March 14, 2009 7:24 AM
@ slumrville
LOL. I googled Miss Coco, and you are right! If Renee had an Adam's Apple and Dong, they'd be twins!
2 of 8 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on March 14, 2009 7:59 AM
One of your best recaps, Dogsnaxx!
Did you notice that the GI Joe/Bill doll looked like John McCain?
I think that Sen. Pansy Pants shrieked, "Behind you!" at Jack, not "NO!"
I'll bet Hodges is scheming to put evil Powers Boothe in the White House! He was probably Taylor's disgraced opponent.
3 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 14, 2009 2:51 PM
HAHAHAHA!!! AGREED!!! Feel free to insert a visual comparison in next week's recap (and a shout-out would be nice)!!!
4 of 8 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on March 14, 2009 8:01 PM
Great job, as usual! I can always count on you to make me laugh! And point out things I missed watching the show - hello the Bill doll!
Speaking of Bill... Am I the only one mourning him? I loved his character, Chia growth and all. He has that hot older man thing going on, plus he was always just a decent character. I wish they could have gotten Dickhead in the explosion instead.
Loved the zombie screen shot of Walker - I delete way too many pictures of myself with that same expression. The Willis one was so funny too!
Olivia needs to be bitch slapped.
Think Hodges is in cahoots with Hayworth?
5 of 8 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on March 14, 2009 10:20 PM
@ Pixielated
Thanks! And you are totally right, that doll looks like McCain! The producers of the show are McCain fans, I wonder if it was intentional?
@ Slumrville
...stay tuned! If Renee gives Coco face, I'll do a side by side for sure.
@ jjnoza
I totally got a little choked up when Bill bought the farm during my first viewing of the episode. I think repeated viewings and trying to be funny in the recap desensitized me. But let's all raise our glasses to Chia Bill. He grew and grew and grew into our hearts!
I have a feeling Hayworth has something to do with everything going on. If it's not him, it's his little piggy David.
6 of 8 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on March 15, 2009 6:16 AM
*raises glass* RIP, Chia Bill!
7 of 8 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on March 15, 2009 4:46 PM
I'll miss Bill.
8 of 8 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:32 AM