With Renee in tow, Jack heads over to Bid Daddy Larry and fills him in on Bill's intel about Juma not working alone. Larry, ever the skeptic, asks Jack if he's sure. Jack is all: "Damn Straight!" He tells Larry they need to interrogate Ryan Burnett again. It's their only lead. Larry offers to do it himself, and Jack is all "Bitch, Please!" He tells Larry the President offered Burnett immunity and he turned it down, so he's their only shot. Larry is all "What ya gonna do? Torture him again?" Jack is all "Bitch, Please again!" Jack doesn't need to touch him, just scare the bejeesus into him. Larry thinks it all sounds fine and dandy, but is operating under outdated orders, and has Jack placed in custody!

Renee steps in and tells Larry that she thinks he ought to listen to Jack. Larry, still totally jelly-jealous, asks when she'll stop defending Bauer and then blows her off and walks away. Renee, not liking that answer, approaches Captain America, who's name is given as Agent Reynolds. She tells the good captain she needs to speak with the Prez. He tells her the Prez is secure, and she'll have to go through Ethan Kanin, who conveniently just arrived after missing out on the whole attack thing.
We cut to Kanin, walking through the halls of the White House with an agent while the lights come back on! They discuss attack stuff, and then Zombie Spice Renee intercepts him in the hall and tells him she needs to talk to him and it's super duper urgent! He gives her a moment, and she tells him about the sat phone/Juma getting help thing...yada yada. Kanin looks into space intensely.

We cut to Starkwood (a thinly veiled BlackWather reference?) Headquarters where Hodges is still hanging out in his awesome office, watching the news, and smelling his fingers again. His man Greg Seaton comes to the office (Hodges sees him on a super secure video screen), and updates him on the whole "President: alive, Evil General:dead" business. Hodges asks what happened, but Seaton doesn't have an answer. Hodges says: "Well, you've gotta admire the damn bitch. She doesn't give up easily." Haha. Greg starts fumbling and apologizing for the screw up, saying they didn't have enough control over the situation. Hodges tells him to take a Relax-i Cab to Chilltown and have a drink. While Greg pours said drinky, Hodges notes that the shipment of weapons is still on the way, so everything is going as planned as far as he's concerned. He leaves it with "Get Chapman on the phone, I want to nail down some targets." And we cut to break!

When we return, Larry is about to have Jack shipped off to FBI HQ, when he gets a call from Ethan Kanin. Kanin tells him: About the whole arresting Jack thing, let's put that on hold! He elaborates that Walker told him about the plot, and Larry looks super duper pissed! Kanin goes on that he thinks it's a good idea if Bauer interrogates Burnett. Larry tries to fight him using the "he almost killed him last time!" argument. But Kanin is not deterred. He tells Larry it'll be a "controlled" interrogation and it will proceed under his authority. Larry protests again, calling Jack a "wild card"! Oooh, good one Larry, Burn! Kanin finishes it all by acknowledging the risk and telling Larry it's under his authority and not the President's. Her hands will be clean if something goes wrong (read: something will go wrong!) Anyhoo...Larry protests again and Kanin shuts him up, telling him it's a direct order. Larry, always the rule follower, has no choice but to make a grumbly growly face and agree to it all.

Meanwhile, the Prez is meeting with an underling named Patrick and giving him orders regarding contacting the families of victims and meeting with her speech writer to start drafting a message to the public. Patrick is taking it all down, but looks like he wants to cry! The Prez asks if he's OK, and he says he will be...but focusing on work will help in the short term. Her mouth says "I understand" but her expression says "You are such.a.p*ssy!"

« The City: A Multipletude of Badness | Main | Desperate Housewives: Tom Scavo is an A-Hole! »


Comments (8)
Great episode! Hilarious recap! Thanks, Dogsnaxx!
Who else thinks Zombie Spice looks like Miss Coco Peru?!?!?!?
1 of 8 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on March 14, 2009 7:24 AM
@ slumrville
LOL. I googled Miss Coco, and you are right! If Renee had an Adam's Apple and Dong, they'd be twins!
2 of 8 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on March 14, 2009 7:59 AM
One of your best recaps, Dogsnaxx!
Did you notice that the GI Joe/Bill doll looked like John McCain?
I think that Sen. Pansy Pants shrieked, "Behind you!" at Jack, not "NO!"
I'll bet Hodges is scheming to put evil Powers Boothe in the White House! He was probably Taylor's disgraced opponent.
3 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 14, 2009 2:51 PM
HAHAHAHA!!! AGREED!!! Feel free to insert a visual comparison in next week's recap (and a shout-out would be nice)!!!
4 of 8 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on March 14, 2009 8:01 PM
Great job, as usual! I can always count on you to make me laugh! And point out things I missed watching the show - hello the Bill doll!
Speaking of Bill... Am I the only one mourning him? I loved his character, Chia growth and all. He has that hot older man thing going on, plus he was always just a decent character. I wish they could have gotten Dickhead in the explosion instead.
Loved the zombie screen shot of Walker - I delete way too many pictures of myself with that same expression. The Willis one was so funny too!
Olivia needs to be bitch slapped.
Think Hodges is in cahoots with Hayworth?
5 of 8 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on March 14, 2009 10:20 PM
@ Pixielated
Thanks! And you are totally right, that doll looks like McCain! The producers of the show are McCain fans, I wonder if it was intentional?
@ Slumrville
...stay tuned! If Renee gives Coco face, I'll do a side by side for sure.
@ jjnoza
I totally got a little choked up when Bill bought the farm during my first viewing of the episode. I think repeated viewings and trying to be funny in the recap desensitized me. But let's all raise our glasses to Chia Bill. He grew and grew and grew into our hearts!
I have a feeling Hayworth has something to do with everything going on. If it's not him, it's his little piggy David.
6 of 8 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on March 15, 2009 6:16 AM
*raises glass* RIP, Chia Bill!
7 of 8 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on March 15, 2009 4:46 PM
I'll miss Bill.
8 of 8 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:32 AM