Testimonials

Jack and Larry are still tracking the screaming brat's Dad, who is nearing the base. Jack is in hot pursuit, but running out of time, so he takes a shortcut down Baxter Ave, which is One-way! That's dangerous Jack! As Larry counts down the 15 seconds before Vossler pulls onto the base, we see Jack swerving like a maniac through oncoming traffic. Just as time is going to run out, Jack catches Vossler and rams his car off the road (but not before Vossler gets to give an "Oh Shit!" look to the camera. Agro Jack heads to Vossler's car, gun drawn, pops him in the head once and drags him into an apartment building, tossing him to the floor of a hallway. Jack demands to know First Hubby's whereabouts, and Vossler insists he doesn't know what he's talking about. A kick to the gut still doesn't sway him, and instead prompts a "F*ck You" face on Vossler's part. Jack says "Fine, we'll do this your way." After Dialing Renee, he orders Vossler to "talk to your wife!", which freaks Vossler out. Mrs. V. is all "Omigod! Who are these people and why do they wanna shoot me in the face?" His kid Connor is still Wailing away in the background. Renee heads over to the crib, blocking the view of the baby, which sends Mrs. V. into full-on panic attack. While everyone screams at each other and freaks out in general, Renee has the "sad-torturer" look on her face we first saw when she cut Tanner's air tube in the hospital. Does this mean she doesn't like hurting little babies and new mommies? What a weenie! Vossler gives in and tells Jack he'll tell them what they want to know. Jack tells Renee to stand down. She delivers the baby to his mother with a weird look on her face. The mother tells her "You're a monster!"

Vossler tells Jack about First Hubby being held in the basement of a greengrocer at 12451 Arlington Avenue. (Ahem! The former DC resident in me wants to scream that there's no Arlington Ave in DC!) While Vossler continues to provide the basement layout, how to get down there, how many gunmen, etc...Jack is distracted by some dude who wanders into the building. While Jack screams at the dude to "Get out of here", Vossler kicks his gun away and attacks! Vossler pulls a knife out of his mid-life crisis hair and they struggle and flip around the hallway. Ed gets in one good kick to Jack's ribs and backs him against a wall. Vossler gets his knife closer and closer to Bauer's face and is about to carve "Eddie V Wuz Here" into a cheek. But wait! Jack pulls a maneuver and Vossler gets stabbed in the gut! So long, Ed! I hope they have salon service in hell!

Jack exits the building and a bunch of lookie-loos are staring at the car wreckage. When they see the scary man with a gun ordering them to get away from the car, they all scamper. Unfortunately, Larry's ride is totaled, so Jack commandeers a nice Cadillac at Gunpoint and heads off to save the First Hubby!

Five minutes later, we return to the White House where Bill is briefing a small secret service detail on "Operation Matobo Double." It was a quick casting job, it seems, because the dude looks nothing like Matobo. In fact, he looks like Tim Meadows in bad blackface with a bunch of pubic hair glued to his face. Methinks they just grabbed the first African American staffer they could find. Bill tells the gang and "double" that they need to stall as long as possible and should not get out of the car for any reason. The Matobo double pats the pubes on his face and says nothing. He's too distracted by the itchiness and wondering why the hell he allowed himself to get into this.

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Posted in 24 by Dogsnaxx at 2:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Dogsnaxx on Feb 12, 2009 04:58 PM.