It's almost lunch time in '24' land! This week, we only have an hour to cover. What a treat! I'm still recovering from the carpal tunnel syndrome recapping 4 hours gave me last week.
I hope you are hungry for some twists, some turns, a bunch of angry faces, a double-cross or two, and some staggering acts of D-Baggery!
Let's recap it all. Follow me...after the jump!
It's high noon, and we open in FBI HQ, where Agent Larry Moss is deploying a SWAT team to protect former PM Matobo, who is already stuck in a safe room and at the mercy of the terrorists. The FBI is, once again, woefully behind he curve. The SWAT team is headed by Agent Remick, who is played by "That Dude." You know...the one who's been on just about every TV show ever? I had a bitch of a time trying to figure out his name, but it's Peter Onorati, for the record. I think he played the abusive husband of the cougar lady on 'Desperate Housewives' this season? I dunno...don't really watch that show. Another Fun Fact: He played Samantha's wrestling coach f*ck-buddy in the episode of 'Sex and the City' that also featured the death of Miranda's mother. Thankfully, he's not decked out in a wrestling unitard and chasing Janis around the office, he's paying attention to Larry's instructions.
"Can we speed this along? I'm filming a bit part as "Hands-y Field Hockey Coach" for 'Gossip Girl' tonight."
Ol' By-The-Books Moss wants to make sure that the team comes back with Almeida alive. Remick would obviously rather go in shooting, so he whines about it a little. It's framed as "My men should be allowed to return fire", but the look on his face says: "I wanna blow away a few dudes and come back with a necklace made of human earlobes!" Moss reminds him that Almeida is the only link they have to recovering the CIP Module and, therefore, critical to the mission of saving innocent American lives. Therefore, there will be no blowing terrorists away with automatic weapons! So, in addition to being the second biggest pushover in the world (which we established last week), Moss is also the second biggest Party Pooper in the world!
#1
Meanwhile, back at the safe room, Matobo and his lovely wife are patiently waiting for that SWAT team to rescue them. You know, the one that hasn't left FBI HQ yet? Methinks that SWAT team needs to exercise a little more "shut up and do" and a little less "whine, whine, whine" about returning fire. Outside the safe room, Emerson is beating the bejeesus out of a poor Sangalan security guard. The dude is all stoic about the beating and even reminds Emerson that the only way to open the door is from within. So, he can keep kicking the shit out of the dude, but if he expects a different result, he may need to shift tactics. Oh yeah, and we cut away to Almeida looking vaguely uncomfortable with the whole "senseless beating" thing.
Tony goes into the crawl space where Jack is working on finding a way into the safe room, and reminds him that they need Matobo! He's the only way to get to Dubaku. Jack just grumbles "I know!" since Tony last mentioned that at precisely 11:59.30. (Hallelujah for the week in between episodes! I actually don't want to scream "You just said that!" to one of the characters). Emerson comes back and wants a progress report, which Jack is unable to give him. Emerson radios his other little Baddie henchman, whose name is officially given as Litvak. You know how it goes when those nameless baddies get identified, right? Litvak is going to be joining Agent Erika Deadmeat on the deathwatch clock. The role of Litvak is being played by some dude that looks just like Adam Levine from Maroon 5. I'm too lazy to go look the actor's actual name up, so I'm just going to go ahead and claim he's Adam Levine's learning-disabled brother Larry Levine.
One is a Hit man, the other is a One Hit Wonder
« Bromance: Bro- Back Mountain | Main | Rock Of Love Bus: Ho Angels »
Comments (10)
This season is off to a super-duper slow start. Jack has yet to torture (almost did!) or kill anyone. The only blood shed is Schecter, a nobody bodyguard, and a nobody henchman getting shot. I've been able to predict every turn so far. Tony actually being a good guy (he'll be bad before the day is done), Slutgirl and D-bag, no-nuts Kanin, pretty boy bodyguard, etc.
Never thought I'd bitch and moan about my favourite show but after god-awful season 6 and all this time between 6 and 7 to validate they have a killer plot and script, I feel cheated.
As for the silent clock, WTF? I don't feel any empathy for any of the characters whose lives are currently in danger. First Gentleman? Time-killing side-plot? Who cares? Renee? Well at least she's part of the main storyline. But 5 episodes in and we're supposed to give a shit about these people?
Janice is just a raven-haired Chloe. When they inevitably meet face-to-face it will be a sour-face and technogeek standoff with Chloe winning by a microprocessor. How about a different type of character and not a rehash of current or old characters? Another example: Grumpy Sean Hillinger/Grumpy Adam Kauffman. Hardass Moss/Hardass Driscoll.
19 more episodes to go. I still hold out hope, but if it can't get back to Season 5 or previous status, man.. if the rumours are true then maybe the timing is right to have 24 bow out after next season. I think I see a sharktank with ramp up ahead.
1 of 10 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on January 22, 2009 6:14 AM
"She's part of the FBI's new Long Island Outreach program and recruiting efforts. Instead of apologizing to her, he screams to "move!", which is totally awesome. Everybody hates Long Island girls, even Larry. Janis has a stunned but highly entertained look on her face throughout the whole ordeal.
'Oh My Gawd! I shoulda kept that job at Payless in the Mawl!'"
HAHAHAHAHA. a-ma-zing. love it. SO true. crunchy hair is an epidemic on long island. awesome. that made my day.
2 of 10 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on January 22, 2009 9:07 AM
Have to agree that this season is off to a slow start. The guy writing the recaps is much better then watching the show. If it doesn't pick up.. I'll just read the recaps
3 of 10 | Posted by muso | Posted on January 22, 2009 12:50 PM
@Firthguy
I feel your pain buddy! But if I gotta hang in there for the next 19, you gotta do it with me. Deal?
@baymenxpac
I used to commute from Manhattan to the middle of Long Island daily for a job. I still have emotional scars. True story.
4 of 10 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on January 22, 2009 5:57 PM
Dogsnaxx:
I'm in. Still my favourite show, just had to vent. I will keep watching if only to keep on top of your recaps. Classic!
5 of 10 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on January 23, 2009 4:23 AM
Dogsnaxx, you're doing the best you can with this show.
I've been a faithful viewer since Season1/Episode1, but 24 lost me emotionally when President Palmer was assassinated. And they lost me mentally at the end of Season 5 (President Wimpy got away? Ahhhh!).
The prequel to this season was ok but I'm bored. I care more about when Janeane Garofalo will get to wash her hair again than I do about Agent Buried Alive.
I'm with Muso about reading the recaps instead. That way, I'll be saving about 5 hrs. of my life that I couldn't get back.
6 of 10 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on January 23, 2009 12:34 PM
P.S.
Where's Part 2 of the premiere recap? The second half of the 4 hr. marathon is missing. I was looking forward to reading it since I dozed off while watching the show.
7 of 10 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on January 23, 2009 12:36 PM
@ BlahBlah
I can't post an URL in comments. Episodes 3 and 4 are in the archives.
24-premiere-par-1-8736.php
Or try searching for 'Reunited, and it feels so good!' that was the title.
Thanks for reading!
8 of 10 | Posted by dogsnaxx | Posted on January 23, 2009 1:23 PM
I agree with Muso, I might just read the recaps until the action gets better!
9 of 10 | Posted by travelgirl | Posted on January 24, 2009 1:04 PM
Wow, I've found the section of the audience on downers... ;-)
I liked the first six hours very much. While it certainly could go the way of "same stuff with new names," at least our current "CTU" isn't placing limits right and left on Jack, which was the maddening problem with the old one. I like Jack being free to do what he wants.
The Jack and Tony romance jokes wear thin quickly though...
10 of 10 | Posted by whirlwinded | Posted on January 29, 2009 11:17 PM