Back at FBI HQ, D-Bag saunters up to Deadmeat's cubicle and wants her to send some information for him to the SWAT team. She's a little testy with him, noting she already did it. D-Bag takes the opportunity to apologize for being a jerk earlier. She's all, "It's OK, I know you were worried about your wife." But then she drops a bomb! She can't stop thinking about "last night" He can't either! I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and hoping that all they had was one A-M-A-Z-I-N-G bible study last night, but they go and shoot that whole theory to death by leering at each other and making conspiratorial giggle faces.
Ok. So this is an interesting news flash! Agent Erika Deadmeat has been boning D-Bag Dillinger! It's not quite clear yet if this is something ongoing, or a one-time dalliance while his wife was on the road. Wow. Way to skyrocket on the D-Bag ladder, Sean! And, Erika...ooh, girl! Now I need to try and be a gentleman about this, because I don't know where my lady readers fall on the "attitudes toward perceived gender inequality in matters of infidelity" spectrum. Why don't we have a show of hands out there. Who wants me to lay-off Erika? Anybody? Not one single person? C'mon, there's gotta be someone that will be offended if I use the phrase 'Special Agent Erika DeadSlut?' Wait. Oops. Too late. It's out there. Sorry!
Special Agent Erika DeadSlut
Agent Smurf Janis breaks up the slut-fest because she needs D-Bag to do some important computer stuff.
We immediately cut to Janis knocking on Larry Moss's door, because she has many hidden talents, one of which is teleporting. She lets him know that Remick the SWAT dude is on the line and wants to talk to him. Larry tells Janis to wait in the office while he makes the call. She kinda sideway walks into the office with a look on her face that says "What does this fool want now?" Remick informs Moss that Renee was taken alive with the Matobos. Larry does a lot of grunting and groaning and tells him to trace her cell phone. But no can do, the Baddies destroyed it. Remember? He tells Janis to send Renee's information to every agency, put him in a queue to receive real time updates, and tell everyone in the office that finding Renee is their top priority. Once again Homegirl Garofalo does a great job of nodding gravely. I feel like she's silently mocking the show and I love it! She asks him if he's OK, because she knows he's totally in love with Renee. He pretends not to know what she's talking about.
"Is that all, Larry? 'Cuz PeneloPEE has a bladder infection and I hate leaving her alone like that."
Back in the Baddie short bus, Renee tearfully apologizes to former PM Matobo for not being able to protect him. What is up with FBI Spice and her emotions? One second she's a growling ass-kicking superFed, and the next she's a simpering crying mess. Matobo tells her she has nothing to apologize for while looking directly at Bauer. Oooh, burn! Renee turns to Bauer and demands to know how much he's being paid. She doesn't really wait for an answer...just keeps going on about how she hopes it's enough to compensate for the loss of American lives. Tony chimes in to defend his boyfriend, and tells her to shut up, which she doesn't. Emerson gets a call from his partner Nichols, who informs him that Renee doesn't really know anything other than what Tanner told her in the Hospital Room. He tells him she's extraneous and to please dispose of her quickly before they get there. Veruca Dubaku wants the PM, and he wants him now! Emerson informs Jack and Tony that their new plan is to bring Renee to an abandoned construction site, kill her, and ditch the body. Ruh-Roh! Tony pipes in that maybe they should try and interrogate her themselves, just for shits and giggles. Emerson says "no way, no how!" Nichols wants her out of the way before they deliver Matobo. There are a lot of silent dramatic looks at the faces of jack, Tony, and Renee. They probably just sat there in silence staring at each other for five minutes, but we'll never know because we cut to break.
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Comments (10)
This season is off to a super-duper slow start. Jack has yet to torture (almost did!) or kill anyone. The only blood shed is Schecter, a nobody bodyguard, and a nobody henchman getting shot. I've been able to predict every turn so far. Tony actually being a good guy (he'll be bad before the day is done), Slutgirl and D-bag, no-nuts Kanin, pretty boy bodyguard, etc.
Never thought I'd bitch and moan about my favourite show but after god-awful season 6 and all this time between 6 and 7 to validate they have a killer plot and script, I feel cheated.
As for the silent clock, WTF? I don't feel any empathy for any of the characters whose lives are currently in danger. First Gentleman? Time-killing side-plot? Who cares? Renee? Well at least she's part of the main storyline. But 5 episodes in and we're supposed to give a shit about these people?
Janice is just a raven-haired Chloe. When they inevitably meet face-to-face it will be a sour-face and technogeek standoff with Chloe winning by a microprocessor. How about a different type of character and not a rehash of current or old characters? Another example: Grumpy Sean Hillinger/Grumpy Adam Kauffman. Hardass Moss/Hardass Driscoll.
19 more episodes to go. I still hold out hope, but if it can't get back to Season 5 or previous status, man.. if the rumours are true then maybe the timing is right to have 24 bow out after next season. I think I see a sharktank with ramp up ahead.
1 of 10 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on January 22, 2009 6:14 AM
"She's part of the FBI's new Long Island Outreach program and recruiting efforts. Instead of apologizing to her, he screams to "move!", which is totally awesome. Everybody hates Long Island girls, even Larry. Janis has a stunned but highly entertained look on her face throughout the whole ordeal.
'Oh My Gawd! I shoulda kept that job at Payless in the Mawl!'"
HAHAHAHAHA. a-ma-zing. love it. SO true. crunchy hair is an epidemic on long island. awesome. that made my day.
2 of 10 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on January 22, 2009 9:07 AM
Have to agree that this season is off to a slow start. The guy writing the recaps is much better then watching the show. If it doesn't pick up.. I'll just read the recaps
3 of 10 | Posted by muso | Posted on January 22, 2009 12:50 PM
@Firthguy
I feel your pain buddy! But if I gotta hang in there for the next 19, you gotta do it with me. Deal?
@baymenxpac
I used to commute from Manhattan to the middle of Long Island daily for a job. I still have emotional scars. True story.
4 of 10 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on January 22, 2009 5:57 PM
Dogsnaxx:
I'm in. Still my favourite show, just had to vent. I will keep watching if only to keep on top of your recaps. Classic!
5 of 10 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on January 23, 2009 4:23 AM
Dogsnaxx, you're doing the best you can with this show.
I've been a faithful viewer since Season1/Episode1, but 24 lost me emotionally when President Palmer was assassinated. And they lost me mentally at the end of Season 5 (President Wimpy got away? Ahhhh!).
The prequel to this season was ok but I'm bored. I care more about when Janeane Garofalo will get to wash her hair again than I do about Agent Buried Alive.
I'm with Muso about reading the recaps instead. That way, I'll be saving about 5 hrs. of my life that I couldn't get back.
6 of 10 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on January 23, 2009 12:34 PM
P.S.
Where's Part 2 of the premiere recap? The second half of the 4 hr. marathon is missing. I was looking forward to reading it since I dozed off while watching the show.
7 of 10 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on January 23, 2009 12:36 PM
@ BlahBlah
I can't post an URL in comments. Episodes 3 and 4 are in the archives.
24-premiere-par-1-8736.php
Or try searching for 'Reunited, and it feels so good!' that was the title.
Thanks for reading!
8 of 10 | Posted by dogsnaxx | Posted on January 23, 2009 1:23 PM
I agree with Muso, I might just read the recaps until the action gets better!
9 of 10 | Posted by travelgirl | Posted on January 24, 2009 1:04 PM
Wow, I've found the section of the audience on downers... ;-)
I liked the first six hours very much. While it certainly could go the way of "same stuff with new names," at least our current "CTU" isn't placing limits right and left on Jack, which was the maddening problem with the old one. I like Jack being free to do what he wants.
The Jack and Tony romance jokes wear thin quickly though...
10 of 10 | Posted by whirlwinded | Posted on January 29, 2009 11:17 PM