On the metro, NOT-Patty/Cara walks through Jibraan's train car, opens her bowling bag to activate the device, places it under a seat, and promplty makes her exit at the next stop. Jibraan notices the woman in the bad wig exiting the car, and the wheels start turning a little in his head. He seems to recognize her, but isn't quite sure where he knows her from. Hey Jibraan, think "firecrotch!" That'll snap the puzzle into place! Anyhoo, Cara calls into Tony and tells him everything is set and she's headed above ground. Evil-meida tells her he'll be there to pick her up shortly.
Just then, Chloe gets a bead on Tony's exact location and calls into Jack and Renee! As luck would have it, Tony is not that far from them and getting closer! Jack sees Tony's sketchy black van take a turn right in front of them (how lucky!) and Renee is ready for hot pursuit! Jack tells her that letting things turn into a pursuit would be a mistake, and takes the initiative to side-swipe the van and then rear-end it in reverse...trapping it! As the Feds swoop in, Jack and Renee jump out of their car and remove Tony from the van while he tries to destroy his mini computer. Jack puts Tony in his patented sleeper hold, but doesn't bother telling him to "hold still"...instead, he just tells the Feds to secure the "piece of crap"!
Jack and Renee examine Tony's sweet little mini computer, which has gone dark and has a crack on the screen. He tells Renee to get the Tech-Geek-Goddesses working on it while he sweeps the van. As he enters the van, he has one of his little mini-wincing-seizures...and we cut to break again!
Five minutes later, Jack and Renee are anxiously huddled over the damaged mini computer while Chloe Kvetches about how she can't hack into it. Jack reminds her they need anything they can get from it, and Chloe (with a hint of defensiveness in her voice) tells him she knows! Janis over-hears all of this and asks Chloe to send her a copy of her "screen." Dismissive-Bitch-Face Chloe is all "Why?" and Janis awesomely tells her "Why Not?" Round two is ON! Janis instantly detects a way into the device using PROM modules, or some such Tech-nonsense. Chloe is all pissy pants about it and tells Janis it can't be done, and Janis says "really?" (her voice dripping in bitchiness, revenge, and condescension). Chloe looks legitimately worried that round two is going to Plum Puddin'!
Back in Adam's Morgan, Jack is informed that Tony is awake and subdued. Jack heads over to the stoop where Tony sits defenseless and handcuffed, telling the agents guarding him to "walk away"...pwetty pweeze, so he can beat the bejeezus out of his ex-BFF-boyfriend. The guards comply, and holy-smack-down-aroni does Jack let Tony have it! It's brutal and angry! Blood is gushing out of Tony's mouth and nose while Jack lands punch after punch. Almost as an afterthought, he keeps demanding to know where the bio-weapon is while he's beating Tony. The whole time, he knows that Evil-meida will never spill the Mexican Jumping Beans, so Jack finally asks the REAL question..."why did you betray me?!" Cold-Hearted Tony holds back and doesn't mention he betrayed Jack because he found a MUCH hotter piece of ass in NOT-Patty/Cara. Instead, he remains silent. Jack pulls a gun and tells Tony that he has no reservations about shooting him dead, since he has nothing left to lose! Tony kinda smirks at him and is all "Oh REALLY, Jack? Nothing left to lose?"...because Tony totally knows that Kim Bauer is somehow going to f*ck everything up, again...and will most likely f*ck everything up in Season 8 as well. That's how she roll!!
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Comments (3)
Hey, Dogsnaxx, another great recap!
I'm still hoping for a big twist, shockeroo next week, but I don't think it's gonna happen. You know, like someone totally unexpected, like Janis or Aaron, being in on the whole conspiracy? I guess I've been watching "Lost" too long.
I hope they don't keep this conspiracy under wraps until next season, but if they do, it's because they can't figure it out themselves. Hmmm, maybe Kim is behind it all?
Seriously, I am so disappointed in Ho-livia. Some villain she is! Just a garden variety loser.
1 of 3 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on May 17, 2009 3:53 PM
Masterful recap - that's how *you* roll!
Love "firecrotch"! I wanted to bust that out earlier this season, but held back. :-)
And it was about 1 minute 18 seconds - that's bullshit that the captioning had it wrong - how hard can it be? It always pisses me off when I see captioning on somewhere and common words are completely misspelled. Poor form.
Anyway... I was hoping Jack gets cured tomorrow... If not, I wonder if Season 8 will pick up the following day (with or without a cliffhanger from this season, which would piss me right the f*ck off), instead of being months or years later as in previous years, and then end with his death? That would suck.
Kim sucks. Hard. That's all I'm going to say. She could f*ck up a wet dream, as my mother would say.
Glad to see Ethan back too - I hope Ho-livia goes down in flames, but quickly so we don't have to see too much more of her. What a waste of a character.
2 of 3 | Posted by jjnoza | Posted on May 17, 2009 8:47 PM
@Pixie
I'm wondering if that "needle in the back of Jack's neck" scene from the preview was the big "cure" thing? I guess it would stand to reason that the bad buys would have access to a "cure"...since they developed the drug. But why would they cure Jack? Think Tony's going to try and recruit him, or something? Weird.
I can't WAIT to see Ma Taylor go ballistic on Ho-Livia's ass tonight! I'm positively giddy with excitement.
@ JJ
Interesting idea for Season 8! That would be cool if they never cured him at all and Jack died at the end of the Season. However, I don't know if I could take a full 24 hour season of his twitching and sweating like a Meth addict. It's getting really annoying!
3 of 3 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on May 18, 2009 8:41 AM