Testimonials

Back at the FBI's Washington Bureau, Jack and Agent Moss meet and waste no time getting into a manhood measuring contest. It's evident that Larry Moss is a by-the-book kind of guy and is relying on Bauer only out of necessity. Either these two are going to end up becoming best-ies, or wind up dead at each others' hands. I say just have a thumb war and let's be done with it. If everyone would just respect the thumb war, it would be a much more peaceful world.

In Renee's office, Jack finally learns why he has been enlisted to help out the FBI. His old colleague and frenemy, Tony Almeida, is the leader of Team Baddie! Jack, like any loyal viewer of the show, clearly remembers that Tony died at the end of Season 5 and is therefore skeptical of the FBI evidence pointing to him as Big Baddie #1. Agent Walker, acting as a stand-in for the show's producers, tells Jack (and us) that Tony isn't dead because he was whisked away by the EMT, a different body was buried in his grave, there was no silent clock ticking to mark his death, and ratings were down in Season 6. I wonder if they're gonna find a way to bring Marlena in for this season. The ratings would top American Idol's.

Spoiler alert: The terrorists are working for Marlena's evil twin who is also no longer dead. Fingers crossed.

We cut back to Baddietown where any lingering skepticism over Almeida's health is shut down when he emerges from the shadows to find out if his team has successfully cracked the CIP Firewall. And, just in case any viewers out there might have trouble with the notion of Tony as Big Baddie, he has been made up with scars, two-day stubble, sweaty oily skin, and a perma-scowl that just screams "Tony 2.0 is Baaad!" Further cementing his villainy, he threatens poor Latham with death should he fail to get Team Baddie into the CIP systems.

Oil of Almei-da(TM)

We go to commercial break, and I find myself pondering what happens during these 5 minute chunks of time in '24' World. I like to think everyone puts their head down for a quick power nap.

In the Oval Office, President Allison Taylor is consulting with Ethan Kanin who is now White House Chief of Staff, a promotion from Secretary of Defense last season. They are mulling military intervention in the fictional African country of Sangala, which we got to know so well in '24: Redemption'. They are interrupted by First Lady Gentleman Henry Taylor who is concerned about a columnist that is going forward with a piece critical of showing force in Sangala. President Taylor expresses confidence in her husband's ability to talk the reporter down, which Kanin does not share. It is evident that First Hubby has been cast in the Jean Smart role as emotionally damaged spouse of the sitting president. We learn his compromised emotional state is due to the death of their strapping buck of a son who was seen in the prequel movie sexing up the hot brunette chick from 'Popular'.

In Baddietown, Almeida and his cronies have successfully tapped into the CIP Firewall, and we cut to ATC headquarters, which seems to have taken over CTU's old Bat Cave set. The ATC gang are starting to get suspicious that something is up with their systems.

Krazee-Eyez Killa makes a career change

Back at FBI headquarters, Jack is coming to terms with Almeida being alive, but refuses to believe he is working with the bad guys. Jack obviously hasn't seen Almeida's new greaser look. Agent Walker reminds Jack that the US government and ex-President Logan were directly responsible for destroying Tony's life and it would stand to reason he has an axe to grind with Good Old Uncle Sam. Walker is pulled out of the office and told about the breach of ATC security. Jack just keeps staring at the picture of his old bromance on the computer monitor and remains sadly silent.

Aboard GS 117, we are treated to a quick exchange between two flight attendants (Yay, Speaking Roles!) about weekend plans. It's a blatant attempt to humanize these nameless folks and manipulate the audience. I'm surprised they didn't cut to a passenger reading the "Innocent Victims: They're Just Like Us!" feature in Terrorism Weekly. Upon hearing of the ATC breach, Jack snaps out of his denial and gets to work trying to locate Almeida's crew with the help of grumpy Sean.

"Do you ever get that 'not so fresh' feeling?"

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Last Comment: BlahBlah on Jan 23, 2009 11:50 AM.