Jack fills Mike in on the situation with Josh and tells him what he needs in order to find him. Nadia then pulls out an oldie but a goodie: "But you're still under arrest." Ah, Nadia. Many before you have uttered that same sentence, but it still remains completely useless. In a moment of clarity, Nadia decides that Jack was never meant to be caged (his feathers are far too bright) and releases him, as long as Mike remains in charge. At this point I really hope for a shot of Morris still choking that guy, but alas, he's probably been kidnapped again and is being power drilled by now. Nadia tells Mike that Milo is dead, and Mike asks if she's okay. She says no. Mike looks mildly annoyed at the fact that he and Milo never got to have their big blowout over What Happened In Denver. Looks like now we'll never find out. Oh well! Off to save L'il Kim!
We then get like a solid minute of Jack and Mike running through the sewer. And then we cut to commercial. As if the editors were like, "Yep. They're in the sewer. Sneaking around under the sewer. You think about THAT whilst the Aflac duck shouts at you. We'll be back in a few."
And, surprisingly, they're still sloshing around the damn sewer when we come back. Team Cheng surfaces and brings Josh to Cheng, who sadly does not greet him with a "Little Mistah Bauah!!" Cheng gets Daddy Bauer on the horn, who then asks to speak with Josh. Cheng hands him the phone and tells him who's on the other line, and Josh becomes so confused at this point it's almost funny. Cheng happily chirps, "TAKE THE PHONE!" Haha. He's such a DELIGHT! Josh does so and the conversation becomes awkward, to say the least. Josh points out that good ole Grandpa almost killed him a few hours ago. Grandpa tells him that was all a ruse and that he would never hurt him. He goes on to say he wants to protect Josh from his father's mistakes; that people will never let him forget what Graem did and that he's going to take Josh away from this "ungrateful country". Josh wants to know where they'd go. "China," says Grandpa. Oh, Jesus.
He continues, saying that in ten years China is going to surpass the U.S in every way and that he should be a part of it, blah blah blah. Josh, speaking for every one of us, says, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Word. You and me both, kid. Grandpa says that he'll explain everything later, and that for now Josh should just keep an open mind. He hangs up, Cheng TAKES THE PHONE back, and they all move out, Josh protesting the whole way.
"Delivery in an HOUR?! What the fuck? I'm hungry NOW!"
At long last, Jack and Mike emerge from their hour-long sewer trek just in time to see Cheng and Josh driving away. Jack starts shooting and stops the car. A massive firefight ensues. Dude, I've typed that sentence so many times I've started seeing it in my sleep. Cheng pulls Josh out of the car and runs away, using him as a shield. Jack yells at everyone to hold their fire, while hiding behind one of those giant red tool chests that always reminds me of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, when Marv pulls on a doorknob that's attached to said tool chest and it falls down the stairs and squishes him. Oh, that Kevin McCallister! Always up to such mischief!
Jack takes off to pursue Cheng and Josh. He does a little badass slide on his ass across the floor, and I fall in love with him all over again.
Jack Bauer: Terrorist Hunter, Floor Buffer.
He chases them through the building, shooting at bad guys the whole way, then follows them up to the roof. Ah, the roof. Cite of all final showdowns. I will enjoy this. Josh manages to kick Cheng in the FACE and seemingly disappears. Jack catches up and corners Cheng, whose previously plastic-like hair has been tousled. Cheng runs out of bullets and Jack demands to know where Josh is. Or, to be more specific, Jack screams, "TELL ME WHERE THE BOY IS!!!" Awww! I'm thrilled to see that old chestnut dusted off, even if bomb has been changed to boy. It's all good. As it turns out, THE BOY is hanging underneath the strange little bridge Jack and Cheng are standing on, and while Jack looks down at him and tries to figure out what to do, Cheng vanishes.
"You've mussed my coif! For this you die! MISTAH BAUAH!"
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Comments (2)
This show is sucking so badly that I'm first to comment after several days. Wow. They NEED to appear on the Simpsons or else there won't BE another "day".
The episodes began to suck when the time factor started to be completely disregarded. It made the urgency disappear. Come on, they do things in one hour that would take days to do and expect us to live with it. Just think back on all that's gone on this season. Say good-bye, Mr. Bauer, NOW!
1 of 2 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on May 17, 2007 7:50 AM
Deal or No Deal!
2 of 2 | Posted by mespa7790 | Posted on February 5, 2008 4:45 AM