Jack manages to pull up and rescue THE BOY with no small amount of constipation-like grunting. He radios down to Mike that he has Josh but Cheng has escaped, so Mike tells him they'll set up a perimeter. So enjoy the flight back to China, Cheng. Don't get too hammered on the plane.
Jack asks Josh what Cheng said to him, and Josh mentions that he made him talk to Grandpa. Jack looks surprised, as we hear that little ghost-like shrieky noise that they always play in the background whenever something shocking is revealed on this show. I wish this happened to me in real life. ("Hey, we're out of milk." *Shrieky noise* "WHAT.") Josh tells him a little more about Grandpa's crazy ramblings, then Jack asks him if he could hear anything else in the background of the call. Josh can't remember. Jack more or less tells him to remember harder, but Josh continues to be useless. Hmm. Sounds like this is a job for our old friend Mr. Floor Lamp.
It is at this point that my friend Allison brings up the increasingly obvious point that if L.A. were to just do away with all of its abandoned factories, terrorism would cease to exist. And it's true. They'd have no where to go for all of their evil scheming. They'd have to relocate to, like, a park or a playground or something. Anyway, Mike arrives on the roof and Jack tells him to inform his team that Grandpa is still involved. Mike, confused, asks why he would be working with the Chinese. "I don't know," says Jack. "I'll ask him when I find him." DUN DUN. Cut to commercial.
Okay, seriously? THAT'S Jack's badass line of the night? That part where he slid around on his ass was cooler than that. I've read a couple interviews wherein the producers have admitted that this season has sucked balls, and they promise they're planning to retool the show and even go so far as too "reinvent" it come next season. And after that line, I say bring it on.
Alright. Rant over. Karen enters the Oval Office to inform Daniels that there has been an increase in Russian troops near the U.S. base, then asks him where Tom Lennox is. Daniels finally explains to her the entire situation with Lisa. Okay, we already knew about all this. Total waste of a scene. He goes on to apologize for keeping her out of the loop, with the reason being that he was romantically involved with Lisa. Again, they totally could have just spliced reaction shots of Karen in with Daniel's confessional scene last week and it would be the same damn thing. I'm shaking my fists at YOU, producers! Feel my wrath!
"Sir, a marriage proposal is hardly going to solve anything."
Tom, meanwhile, is enjoying the distinctive pleasure of listening to the heavy breathing of Lisa and Mark Bishop's romp in the treasonous hay, and I'm happy to report that he looks just as fed up as I am. Mark, um, finishes, and Tom is heard to remark, "Finally, we're done." I realize I proclaim my love for Tom so much that by now it has possibly lost all meaning, but I'd like to reiterate how truly real it is. I'm kidnapping Tom and forcing him to elope with me. In fact, as I'm walking down the aisle I will trip over my own ineptitude, just for him.
"My God, they've been going at it for hours. And is that - oh Jesus - Do I detect a Cleveland Steamer? That's it, no amount of Karen zingers is worth this."
What was I saying? Ah, yes. A post-coital Mark is wincing and breathing very hard, as if he's fighting off a heart attack or something. Ew. He asks Lisa if she's okay, since she appears to be out of it. She once again says that she's tired, then gets up and runs off to the bathroom. Mark gets up from the bed, finds Lisa's PDA, and gets out his little downloady doohickey and hooks it up. He's just about to download when he suddenly stops and changes his mind. He puts her PDA away, very much to the dismay of Tom, who is truly pissed that he had to watch all that disgusting robot sex for nothing.
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Comments (2)
This show is sucking so badly that I'm first to comment after several days. Wow. They NEED to appear on the Simpsons or else there won't BE another "day".
The episodes began to suck when the time factor started to be completely disregarded. It made the urgency disappear. Come on, they do things in one hour that would take days to do and expect us to live with it. Just think back on all that's gone on this season. Say good-bye, Mr. Bauer, NOW!
1 of 2 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on May 17, 2007 7:50 AM
Deal or No Deal!
2 of 2 | Posted by mespa7790 | Posted on February 5, 2008 4:45 AM