I can't remember the last time 24 actually gave me such a multitude of belly laughs. I mean, I usually crack up at the random deaths of anonymous henchmen, and of course there's always Chloe's personality disorder and its subsequent zingers, and every once in a while Jack will make a hilarious expression, but overall the show is not exactly known for its comedy. Until now!!
But we'll get to that later. Right now, Logan is arriving at CTU, amidst many a harsh stare and a rousing chorus from the Presidential Trumpets of Distress. I'm hoping that someone will break the tension by shouting "LOGES! What's up dude?" and executing a well-timed high-five, but alas, that pleasant scenario exists only in my head, so I just chuckle to myself. He is led into one of those torture chamber cells that CTU loves to utilize, but sadly I don't think Burke will be making an appearance tonight. He's probably still cleaning up the whole Graem Bauer mess. Chloe enters the cell and Logan asks who she is. "I'm just Chloe O'Brien," she mumbles. JUST Chloe O'Brien?! That's like saying, "Oh, I'm just the Queen of England. Scone?"
Logan starts to get testy, pestering Chloe about Jack and demanding to speak to Bill and asking why he's in a holding cell. Chloe responds in kind, with a couple snappy remarks and the oddly-phrased "Sorry, I'm feeling ambivalent." Huh? That was weird, even for Chloe.
"WHAT did you do the decor in here? It's AWFUL!"
Bill gathers his minions into the Situation Room, where he introduces Mike Doyle, the new head of Field Ops. Mike is played by none other than Rick Schroder, who has apparently decided to up his street cred by going by RickY Schroder again. He looks quite ridiculous, like some overcaffeinated overgrown child who's pretending to be a secret agent and will soon be running around his backyard, shooting a pretend finger gun. I hope that happens. Anyway, Bill briefs everyone on the situation, and Mike, who is in charge of the assault on the Russian consulate, tells them that rescuing Jack is their secondary objective. Their primary objective is to capture Markov, since he knows where Gredenko is. Milo pipes up with an objection, something about starting a war with Russia, but Bill tells them all that it's ultimately the VP's call. And that call will almost assuredly be growled at some poor underling.
Bill leaves the room and Mike immediately starts demanding that the scenarios be "bracketed into threes," or something like that. WELL. This highly offends our dear boy Milo, who seems fiercely determined to establish himself as the Whiny Bitch of the Day. He's totally against all of Mike's insane bracketing plans, but Mike loudly insists that he doesn't care what Milo thinks. Hmm. I don't enjoy RickyMike, but I like that he's being rude to Milo, so now I don't know what to think. I'm feeling ambivalent.
Milo zings back - "It's so weird, because I had this thought...you might come here and not be a jerk...like you were in Denver...but you are!" Mike deadpans, "Yeah. It's just like that." Oooooh. This tiger's got some claws! It's like we're watching some sort of high school drama and there's a full-out War of Ridiculousness going down. Nadia whispers that she takes it Milo knows him (Nadia's a little slow), and Milo says yes, and that he doesn't like him but Mike does know what he's doing. My guess: lover's quarrel.
Back at the consulate, Evil Russian Henchman kicks Jack, who goes flying down a set of stairs and lands on a dead guy. ERH calls up Markov and informs him that he's going to "terminate the American". Do people really talk like this? I should go into government work so I can say badass things all the time, like instead of brushing my teeth, I will be "eliminating the Plaque Army". While ERH is on the phone, Jack takes the dead guy's belt off, in an effort to take the show in a drastically different direction. Oh wait, he's only using it to loop around ERH's arm as he attempts to shoot him. Head removed from gutter. Jack flips the bitch over and steals his gun, while ERH pulls out a knife, thinking perhaps that he might somehow end up on the winning end of a knife vs. gun fight. He's clearly wrong, as Jack easily shoots the dude and he goes down. Markov watches via a security camera and irritably radios out Jack's location.
Jack, this is neither the time nor the place.
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Comments (10)
All I know is, that could be the Funniest Recap Ever. The screencaps had me laughing out loud.
1 of 10 | Posted by pbjunkie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 14, 2007 12:33 PM
"The Lead Box Investigator radios back to Markov that they haven't found him, but they're setting up a perimeter. Awww, see we're really not all that different. Russians can set up useless perimeters too! Jack falls off..."
hahhaha Whenever they cut back to Martha that Gnarls Barkley song pops in my head. "...la lala la la I think you're Craaa-zah, oohh oooohhh hooo"
Loved the Tvgasm pics and the captions, Screampillar, now if only I know who's going to do a recap of Last weeks's House MD =[, which reminds me I need a new username...HouseMDconvert dibs!
2 of 10 | Posted by IrideBlimp![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 14, 2007 1:24 PM
Ahh, yes. 'Iraqistan".
Lovely country, sharing borders with my beloved 'Karjackistan'...
Great post!
3 of 10 | Posted by fignuts![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 14, 2007 3:07 PM
That recap was hilarious! I was happy to finally see Martha and Aaron. She was so much more whacked out than at the end of last season though! I loved when she was going psycho on the kiwi and then threw some at Logan! LOL!
Ricky Schroder reminds me of a little kid too!
I don't know, I didn't really love this episode...but that's JMO. Jack was MIA for alot of it. Anyway, keep the awesome recaps coming!
4 of 10 | Posted by Jojobear![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 14, 2007 4:08 PM
i created an account just to say this recap made me laugh out loud like an idiot at work.
great job!
next week better have more jack.
5 of 10 | Posted by minimuffin![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 14, 2007 4:15 PM
After a year of gasm-stalking, I've finally created an account just so I could say how hilarious this recap is.
Well played.
Can't wait for the Crazy that is yet to be.
6 of 10 | Posted by her?![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 15, 2007 6:59 AM
Your recaps get better by the week. I thought the whole Logan-Martha arc sucked, but it was great to see the CRAZY one and awesome Aaron.
What really bugged me was the time it took for Logan to go from CTU to Martha's Bungalow. Holy shit, they must have resurrected Airwolf for that one, or maybe I DID hear Picard say "Energize" after all.
24 needs to resolve itself and come up with a story that can fully fill the time without all the sideline crap. Too many characters don't ring true anymore, like Morris the shoe salesman all of a sudden getting a Top Secret clearance and the computer knowledge of a Bill gates, not to mention his ability to even program A-bomg detonators. And, BTW, no f___ing way he'd be able to function that well after he had his shoulder drilled through. At least put a sling on him, OK?
How the hell did Palmer Jr. get to be President, too? And where the hell did Jack get all this strength and stamina after two years of deprivation and torture?
Let's see, the drone's ready to go, so now we can figure on a USAF jet appearing to shoot it down. For what it's worth, they should just carpet bomb the damned Shadow Valley and be done with this bunch.
Thanks for mentioning Jack's "Do it, Naow!" shout. It always cracks me up when he does that. Sounds like a fat ass Georgia state trooper.
7 of 10 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 15, 2007 7:27 AM
"Tom just stands there, looking like he has greatly upset Vigo the Carpathian."
GENIUS. Loooooved your recap!
8 of 10 | Posted by kmills![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 15, 2007 10:14 AM
good episode and good recap!
yes that doyle dude looks and talk like an overgrown kid (funny!), i bet jack's gonna kick his arse later on.
hilarious screencap "nor the time nor the place".
Tom is sooo going down for all of this, it's strange to me the he was all morality about the assasination attemp before but now he's playing all along (even with nuclear war on the line for his desition to lie) he deserve what's comming for him.
9 of 10 | Posted by ronclone![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 19, 2007 8:06 AM
good episode and good recap!
yes that doyle dude looks and talk like an overgrown kid (funny!), i bet jack's gonna kick his arse later on.
hilarious screencap "nor the time nor the place".
Tom is sooo going down for all of this, it's strange to me the he was all morality about the assasination attemp before but now he's playing all along (even with nuclear war on the line for his desition to lie) he deserve what's comming for him.
10 of 10 | Posted by ronclone![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 19, 2007 8:09 AM