Aaron picks up the phone, which Martha threw on the couch, and Logan tries to convince him that this is necessary, that he wouldn't be playing around on a Day Like Today. Aaron says he knows. See, this is why the man has survived six seasons. He follows Rule #1 by always listening to Jack, and he always makes logical decisions. Somebody give this man a medal. Logan says he's hopping on a chopper and will be there in a few minutes. So they're just giving out free helicopter rides to ex-presidential traitors over at CTU now? Tony must be spinning in his grave. His sexy, wonderful, constantly exasperated grave.
After the commercials, Bill puts in a call to Logan, who is now in the air. He tells him that the special ops have been dispatched and they're going to attack the consulate unless Logan is able to convince Martha to help. No pressure, Loges!
Meanwhile, Jack is still scurrying around the Russian consulate bargain basement. He runs into a room that contains a couple, clearly on their way to a little afternoon delight. Because what better time to engage in sexy relations than during an international crisis? Those Russians and their ironic timing! Jack bursts in, gun drawn, and takes them hostage. Jack HATES office relationships! He demands to make a call, and sends the wiry whiny guy off to retrieve a satcom phone.
"I said I wanted GARDEN HERB TRISCUITS, not PARMESAN BASIL WHEAT THINS! For this you die."
Logan arrives and Aaron greets him at the door, but does not shake his hand. Dayum, cold! Well, the man did kill a bunch of people and almost destroy the country, I suppose a few handshake snubs are in order. Logan enters The Bungalow (The Musical!), and Martha quickly flees to her room and shuts the door. Aaron, looking totally annoyed with this entire situation, says that he'll try and retrieve her. At this point I default to suspecting that she's busy committing suicide, as I always thought, every episode last season. But the old girl never did, and this time is no exception. Aaron returns moments later to say that she's changed her mind and she doesn't want to see Logan. Logan starts whining to Aaron again, but is interrupted by Her Royal Crazyness, who has decided to emerge.
"Welcome to the Bungalow!"
They exchange frostyness and she demands to know what he wants. Woman, he's told you twenty-seven times! Pay attention, dammit! He explains the entire situation yet again, and when she starts to get testy he shows her his tracking bracelet and reminds her that he's going right back to prison after this is all over. Martha smirks at his sprawling mansion "prison" but Logan attempts to steer her back to the matter at hand. She asks Aaron if she should do this, and he says yes. She says she needs a drink, and I'm really hoping she gets one, because more crazy is always welcome at Martha Logan's Bungalow. She says it would be a small price to pay for "saving the world." Hey, save the cheerleader too while you're at it. But eventually she agrees to speak to Anya. Atta girl!
Daniels is now meeting with Iraqistan's ambassador, who looks for all the world like the Oompa Loompas in the Tim Burton version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I hope he does a little dance at some point. Anyway, Daniels starts in on the whole Assad-is-to-blame thing, and the ambassador is all like "bwaaa? But I thought - he said - when did we- bwaaa?" Daniels sneers that all that peacemaking nonsense was merely a "rrrrrruse", and that he has evidence that Assad detonated the bomb. Including our special guest witness, Tom Lennox! Tom mumbles an assent. Oompa Loompa says that even if that's true, Assad was certainly not working at the behest of the government. Daniels is all, "bitch please," and informs him that he has troops within striking distance of every major city of Iraqistan, and he's probably going to bomb the shit out of them. Oompa Loompa looks like a scared little puppy.
Doopa dee do
Nadia updates Bill on the status of Operation Consulate-Take-Down, and he mumbles that it's going to come right down to the wire. Of course it is. Everything always happens at the :58 minute mark, right after the big swooping five-scenes-at-once-with-clock screen. In my circles, we've always referred to the big twist at the end as the "Fuck You moment". As in, "Fuck you, audience! You think you had it figured out?! YOU FOOLS!" Bill reveals the whole Martha Logan plan to Nadia, who doubts that it will work, as does Bill. Great. Why are we doing this again? Oh right, to avoid a war with Russia.
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Comments (10)
All I know is, that could be the Funniest Recap Ever. The screencaps had me laughing out loud.
1 of 10 | Posted by pbjunkie
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Posted on March 14, 2007 12:33 PM
"The Lead Box Investigator radios back to Markov that they haven't found him, but they're setting up a perimeter. Awww, see we're really not all that different. Russians can set up useless perimeters too! Jack falls off..."
hahhaha Whenever they cut back to Martha that Gnarls Barkley song pops in my head. "...la lala la la I think you're Craaa-zah, oohh oooohhh hooo"
Loved the Tvgasm pics and the captions, Screampillar, now if only I know who's going to do a recap of Last weeks's House MD =[, which reminds me I need a new username...HouseMDconvert dibs!
2 of 10 | Posted by IrideBlimp
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Posted on March 14, 2007 1:24 PM
Ahh, yes. 'Iraqistan".
Lovely country, sharing borders with my beloved 'Karjackistan'...
Great post!
3 of 10 | Posted by fignuts
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Posted on March 14, 2007 3:07 PM
That recap was hilarious! I was happy to finally see Martha and Aaron. She was so much more whacked out than at the end of last season though! I loved when she was going psycho on the kiwi and then threw some at Logan! LOL!
Ricky Schroder reminds me of a little kid too!
I don't know, I didn't really love this episode...but that's JMO. Jack was MIA for alot of it. Anyway, keep the awesome recaps coming!
4 of 10 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on March 14, 2007 4:08 PM
i created an account just to say this recap made me laugh out loud like an idiot at work.
great job!
next week better have more jack.
5 of 10 | Posted by minimuffin
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Posted on March 14, 2007 4:15 PM
After a year of gasm-stalking, I've finally created an account just so I could say how hilarious this recap is.
Well played.
Can't wait for the Crazy that is yet to be.
6 of 10 | Posted by her?
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Posted on March 15, 2007 6:59 AM
Your recaps get better by the week. I thought the whole Logan-Martha arc sucked, but it was great to see the CRAZY one and awesome Aaron.
What really bugged me was the time it took for Logan to go from CTU to Martha's Bungalow. Holy shit, they must have resurrected Airwolf for that one, or maybe I DID hear Picard say "Energize" after all.
24 needs to resolve itself and come up with a story that can fully fill the time without all the sideline crap. Too many characters don't ring true anymore, like Morris the shoe salesman all of a sudden getting a Top Secret clearance and the computer knowledge of a Bill gates, not to mention his ability to even program A-bomg detonators. And, BTW, no f___ing way he'd be able to function that well after he had his shoulder drilled through. At least put a sling on him, OK?
How the hell did Palmer Jr. get to be President, too? And where the hell did Jack get all this strength and stamina after two years of deprivation and torture?
Let's see, the drone's ready to go, so now we can figure on a USAF jet appearing to shoot it down. For what it's worth, they should just carpet bomb the damned Shadow Valley and be done with this bunch.
Thanks for mentioning Jack's "Do it, Naow!" shout. It always cracks me up when he does that. Sounds like a fat ass Georgia state trooper.
7 of 10 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on March 15, 2007 7:27 AM
"Tom just stands there, looking like he has greatly upset Vigo the Carpathian."
GENIUS. Loooooved your recap!
8 of 10 | Posted by kmills
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Posted on March 15, 2007 10:14 AM
good episode and good recap!
yes that doyle dude looks and talk like an overgrown kid (funny!), i bet jack's gonna kick his arse later on.
hilarious screencap "nor the time nor the place".
Tom is sooo going down for all of this, it's strange to me the he was all morality about the assasination attemp before but now he's playing all along (even with nuclear war on the line for his desition to lie) he deserve what's comming for him.
9 of 10 | Posted by ronclone
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Posted on March 19, 2007 8:06 AM
good episode and good recap!
yes that doyle dude looks and talk like an overgrown kid (funny!), i bet jack's gonna kick his arse later on.
hilarious screencap "nor the time nor the place".
Tom is sooo going down for all of this, it's strange to me the he was all morality about the assasination attemp before but now he's playing all along (even with nuclear war on the line for his desition to lie) he deserve what's comming for him.
10 of 10 | Posted by ronclone
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Posted on March 19, 2007 8:09 AM