Heading into tonight's two hour season premiere of 24, loyal viewers had many questions: was last year's uneven season an indicator of things to come? Would the cast overhaul debilitate the show? Would Sherri Palmer rise from the dead to orchestrate another devious plot? Okay, maybe that last question wasn't high on everyone's list of priorities (although I certainly would not discourage such a twist).
The truth is that 24's season opener was nothing short of excellent. Not only was it filled with menace, suspense, action, disturbing torture, and star crossed lovers, but the show had a tight focus and a central conflict. Oh, and lots and lots of violence — 24 style. This season's gonna rock.
After the first twenty four minutes of the show left Jack with the ole CTU itch, our favorite rogue agent decided to remind himself what's important in his life these days: Audrey. Yes, Jack took a breather from the hectic world of CTU visiting to call Audrey and profess his growing love for her. It was a sweet gesture, but by now Jack should know that any sign of Bauer love will lead to an abduction, murder, or cougar stalking. Nevertheless, Jack and Audrey stuttered, whispered and paused their way through the moment, which I personally expected to end with an "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" jingle. Alas, no cheesy jeweler stepped up, and instead we shifted our focus to Secretary of Defense Heller - aka the irascible and occasionally shiny William Devane.
Turns out Heller was busy arguing with his protester son Richard, who at first glance, appeared to be picketing against the use of shampoo. The two snapped back and forth at each other for a little bit, with Heller ultimately accusing his son of engaging in "sixth grade Michael Moore logic." So does Michael Moore make anti-Presidential documentaries in the world of 24 also?
Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Andrew (Lukas Haas) took a leisurely stroll back to his internet café with a smug look on his face that seemed to say "That was some good informing." Unfortunately, nary a game of Snood or Everquest were in action as Andrew quickly discovered all his co-workers had been killed. Well, almost all his co-workers. There was still that plucky Asian girl. Oh wait. Hold on. Yep, she's dead now.
With nothing left to do except be panicked, Andrew scurried out of the café and hopped on a bike - the ultimate foil to terrorist henchmen. Meanwhile, at CTU, a few agents hauled in that terrorist from the drycleaners. Oh, and wouldn't you know it? Jack knew him! Jack lobbied to have Driscoll reinstate him on a provisional basis, but unfortunately, the best he could do was land a small desk in the corner. "Chloe opened up a socket for you," Driscoll said in her sexy bureaucrat voice. Question: when is Chloe NOT opening up sockets? Every episode she seems to open two or three.
Nevertheless, Jack seemed quite unhappy with his socket offering, and as soon as Driscoll had ambled into another room, he jumped on Chloe's computer and started his usual shenanigans. You know - type type type, Chloe what's your password, type type type, Chloe please!, type type type, there's a terrorist threat at 8 am?, type type type, Chloe you have to trust me!, type type type, 8 am - that's in ten minutes! COMMERCIAL. For the record, it was only 42 minutes into the episode when CTU reached 8:50. Worst real time EVER!
When we came back from the commercial break, Jack rang up Audrey to tell her that some terrorist act was gonna go down at 8 am. "It's almost 8 now," she responded incredulously, as if Jack had violated some five minute courtesy system. Audrey finally got off her ass and fetched her dad, but with time ticking away, Jack needed some answers. With only four minutes until 8 AM, Jack rose to his feet as music swelled on the soundtrack. Hmmm... That's not just any music. That there is Barge In music. Methinks that terrorist interrogation might take a turn...
Cut to said interrogation as Ronnie (the new Jack) tried to break the terrorist. "Why did you let it happen?" he asked as if he wanted a refund for a movie ticket. Honestly, if all the government's secret agents were as lame as this dude, we'd never be able to get the bad guys. Luckily, it's patently clear he'll be dead soon enough.
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Comments (5)
Within five minutes of his introduction, I was calling Ronnie "Not Jack." That was going to be my permanent nickame for him for the entire season. Then I realized that there's nothing like introducing a character with a giant bullseye painted on his forehead. Seriously he needed 24 (as I call Jack) to tell him what the rest of America already knew about the Laundromat: someone else was there. Man, Ronnie was useless. I bet even Tony could have kicked his ass.
I like how one of the big running themes over the first two hours was that people were trying to be 24, but none of them are even HALF the man he is. There's Erin Driscoll, trying be 24 by being a bad-ass CTU head. Then there's Not Jack and we know what happens to people who mess with 24 (especially when they hit him from behind). That's right. You get shot like the beyotch you are. And I like how Not Jack died so 24 didn't have to call in medical help or stay with him. Of course, Not Jack got what he deserved. And finally, there was that terrorist guy who said what will hopefully be his infamous last words, "Yeah. I'm Jack Bauer."
How many packs of cigarettes did Behrooz' mother smoke before the episode?
1 of 5 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on January 10, 2005 1:18 PM
Great program. My TIVO is gonna be working overtime.
2 of 5 | Posted by America's Next Top Fan | Posted on January 10, 2005 1:41 PM
I wasn't sure how we were going to top the nuke and the bio attack. But this is shaping up nicely.
Two outstanding images: rocket shooting across the screen to take out the limo, and the truly sickening still you captured above - looks too familiar.
Oh, and a big "BITE ME" shout-out to the PC crowd that's ticked about the ethnicity of this season's villains.
3 of 5 | Posted by scottbr | Posted on January 10, 2005 7:09 PM
I watched the second hour and thought that this is a pretty solid show, however I watched the 9-11 am hours and thought they were horrible, Jack Bauer just happen to keep a ski mask in the back of his car, why? So he can rob a connivence store for shits and giggles, and then he takes it off as soon as the cameras are foamed, WTF? Just pop the evil terrorist's tires, he'll be standing there until AAA tows him. I'm really surprised that Behrooz didn't cap mom's ass when he had the chance. I do think that the visuals are stunning, but please wipe Devane's face, he looks like a mylar balloon.
Then a look at the next episode, Debbie's mom drops by the terrorist families house to find out where Debbie is, my best guess is that she's gonna die, the body's are really stacking up at the ol' terrorist household. Is this 24 or Desperate Housewives?
4 of 5 | Posted by John | Posted on January 11, 2005 4:49 AM
For some reason Audrey reminds me of Kim and that's definitely not a compliment... I wished her captors slit her throat when they had the chance! Aside from the gratuitous bra-shot at the beginning of episode 1, what purpose does she serve on the show???
I'm with ya B-Side on wanting Sherri to rise from the dead. She's a classic. However, Mrs. CatherineZetaWannabe-Azar is a satisfactory replacement.
5 of 5 | Posted by NikiSpice | Posted on January 12, 2005 7:46 PM