President Palmer Pulls The Swoop and Squat - 
by B-Side
Well, it's the final stretch for 24. With about six episodes left in this spectacular season, it's time for the show to raise the stakes and pull all sorts of crazy, crazy stunts. Unfortunately, after a day that's seen a train explosion, a political abduction, a nuclear meltdown, an EMP detonation, and oh yeah, AIR FORCE ONE GOING DOWN, there's little left for the terrorists to do except revert to season two's failed baddies and set off a nuclear warhead in the bustling metropolis of... Des Moines? Yes, the terrorists have targeted Iowa, a state known for its caucuses, giant universities, and flatlands. What better way to screw the piggish Americans than nuking some prairie dogs. Do what you will to our elected officials, but LAY OFF THE CUTE ANIMALS!!! Jack Bauer never met a dead rodent he didn't want to avenge.
You know, considering that 24 has returned to the ole nuclear warhead gambit, it would be pretty cool to get Marie Warner back into the picture. After all, wasn't she the one who warned that greater things were in store for Jack two seasons ago? I always liked her nutty, brainwashed style (even after she killed poor Reza), plus what better reason to establish yet another CTU love triangle by bringing big sis Kate Warner back into the mix. Between Audrey's whining and Kate's incessant "Wait Jack. I don't understand!", you just know there'd be some craziness at the home base. Sadly, if there's anything the writers have trouble with, it's trying up loose ends. Some of us are still eagerly awaiting the return of Mandy, the deadly assassin who blew up an airplane one season, launched a biological attack on President Palmer the next season, and then disappeared into thin air, becoming just a mere footnote in 24 lore.
The good news is that at least some characters receive the back-from-the-dead treatment, as evidenced by the unexplained return of Mike Novick. I'm fairly sure we'll hear the backstory on him, especially as Palmer returns to the action, but I'm already getting way too far ahead of myself.
This week's episode began with the usual recap of essential events: a warhead is missing! Joe Prado knows some important information! President Charles Logan is a pussy! Jack likes breaking Prado's fingers! Yada yada yada. Anyway, we returned to the action as Joe Prado sat miserably in the CTU clinic, home of such medical disasters as Maya Driscoll's suicide and Paul Raines' paralysis. Luckily for him, his finger problem appeared to be somewhat manageable for the CTU clinicians; although, I'm not ruling out the potential for some sort of fatal digit accident. Until then, the biggest threat to Prado's health would be the suicide-inducing presence of Audrey Raines who popped into the infirmary to check on, you know, something. Prado may have been able to zone out into space with his morphine drip, but the rest of us sat in pain as we watched the increasingly needy woman complain that his torture was unjust. Does she even remember being abducted that morning? Shouldn't there be some kind of bloodlust in her heart by now? "You can't keep working outside the line and not expect consequences," Audrey snipped, apparently including her moronic temperament as one of those "consequences."
With his woman getting all testy and the terrorist sneaking away, Jack had become understandably annoyed. "You okay?" asked Curtis.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" replied Jack.
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