So, with this week's episode of 24, we learned that the total amount of Jack Bauer screen time is directly proportional to how awesome the episode is going to be. One could argue that this statement has been true since the beginning of the series, which I agree with, except that never has it mattered so much as it has during this clunker of a season. So here's to hoping that Jack shows his pretty little soul-tortured face more and more often, because I'm getting pretty sick of staring at Milo's ugly facial/pubic-hair mug.
Over in the Presidential Bunker, Wayne has just launched the nuke at Iraqistan. General Walsh, who seems to have an unhealthy obsession with giving updates every other second, informs the president that the missile has entered their airspace. Tom is flitting around, trying to convince Wayne that this is a terrible idea and that the Iraqistani government is not hiding anything, but Wayne won't budge. Walsh continues to shout out updates over them. Hehe. I bet Walsh is the kind of uncle who, at family barbeques, is constantly informing everyone of exactly how many burgers are "up".
"Sir, Haley's been eliminated from Idol. How should we proceed?"
Karen calls up her hubby and tells him that Wayne has decided to launch the nuke anyway. "It doesn't make any sense!" she cries. "The writers have taken crazy pills!" Bill can't believe it, but can't give her any reason from his end to delay the strike, since Gredenko is dead and Jack hasn't gotten anything out of Fayed yet. Karen is defeated. "I'll call you later," she sighs. "Oh, and honeypie - Hamburger Helper okay for dinner?"
Karen bounces back into the cabinet's room, where Walsh (he's so on TOP of things!) announces that Iraqistani troops are assembling, which means they've picked up the missile on the radar. Wayne is pleased with this. Karen once again tries to convince him to stop, but he won't have it. "Why are you doing this?" she demands. I think the answer is pretty clear: brain transplant.
After a few moments of awkward silence and a truly necessary "four minutes to impact" update from General Walsh the Human Timepiece, Wayne gets a call from the Iraqistani ambassador, who calmly states, "My government has alerted me of the nuclear weapon heading toward my country." Haha. Ambassador Oompa Loompa is so chill. He follows up with the even-keeled Iraqistani equivalent of "Could you knock it off, WAYNE?" He says that his country has identified a high-ranking officer named General Mohmar Habib, who has been in contact with Fayed and is believed to have orchestrated the attacks. He has been arrested and is now being interrogated. "Two minutes!" Walsh chirps. Wayne gets pretty pissy, accusing the Ambassador of knowing about this guy for a long time, and gives him a stern lecture with a lot of yelling. Finally, he calls off the strike and demands a full dossier on Habib and that the Ambassador return to the bunker so he can stick around for the rest of the show.
"Oompa Loompa, sir."
"Doopedy doo, my friend."
Okay, two things. One, we've already had a terrorist villain named Habib. Habib Marwan, season 4. Have they already run out of Arab names and now we have to start repeating? And two, either I'm unfamiliar with the subtleties of the Iraqistani demeanor, or the Ambassador is a really terrible actor. Even when pleading with the president to stop a NUCLEAR BOMB ATTACK, he just seems as if he's asking to borrow a weedwhacker or something. Shape up, Oompa Loompa.
General Walsh aborts the mission, orders the nuke to be dumped in the water, and goes off to sulk because there's nothing left for him to announce. Tom marvels at the fact that Wayne knew they had the information all along, then gets up to orchestrate the retrieval of the nuke. Wayne says that won't be necessary. General Walsh, who has apparently stuck around in case someone asks for the time, relishes the fact that he gets to announce that the missile was actually unarmed. Tom, whose eyes are bugging clear out of his head by now, gasps "This was all a bluff?!" Wayne, putting on his Mr. Rogers sweater to give us the Lesson of the Day, says that Daniels was right in attempting to use force to get the information, the difference being that Wayne wasn't willing to take innocent lives to do it. Well. WAHP WAHP. Everyone seems pretty happy with this. Now let us never speak of this plotline again.
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Comments (12)
I have to say, even I was like, "Wow!" when Jack completely took down the ENTIRE terrorist cell and, sans weapon, hanged Fayed.
And then I thought, "Wait a second. This isn't the season finale! What are they gonna do for the next 10 episodes!?"
And then voila! Audrey enters the picture. I have to say I didn't see her coming up this early though. I figured, they'd surprise us with one more season of Jack kicking ass in China! How cool would that have been?
1 of 12 | Posted by Sam
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Posted on April 12, 2007 4:13 AM
Did I just see Jack bite Fayed's arm? Heh.
2 of 12 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on April 12, 2007 4:50 AM
Uh, Scream? Not to pick any nits, but I believe Walsh is an Admiral, you know, like in the Navy?
I continue to be driven mad by the egregious abuse of the space/time continuum. There is NFW we'd know Iraqistan troops were assembling because of an incoming missile. And there's NFW they could have found Habib and his family, arrested them and start interrogating them in the time it takes me to brush my teeth. I know, we have to be more tolerant, but damn, sometimes this gets annoying as hell.
I don't welcome the arc shift. The entire first 11 hours were jumbled and a bit incomprehensible. Now we have to suffer 13 hours of the annoying Audrey. Please! And why the hell would Cheng want to mess with Jack some more? Are we ignoring they tortured the shit out of him for 2 years? Is it because we're tired of Arab terrorists? I'm beginning to worry about the fate of this once absorbing show.
3 of 12 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on April 12, 2007 6:14 AM
Dude, Jack's single-handed cell annihilation and his battle royale with Fayed ALMOST redeemed this whole shitty season. Jack BIT Fayed!! How awesome is that? And as soon as that chain showed up, I turned to Mrs. Jack and said "we're going to get a chain-hanging here, a la Bruce Willis v. Alexander Godunov in 'Die Hard." S-WEET.
Frankly, I'm perfectly happy for Audrey to come back into the picture (could this also mean the return of William Devane as Sec.Def. Heller?). It will keep the show focused on Jack instead of all of these idiotic digressions into Milo Crotch-Face's stalking of Nadia (although I wouldn't mind it if Milo ended up walking in on Nadia riding Ricky Schroeder on a gurney in the infamous CTU Infirmary of Certain Death).
Too bad Jack didn't have on his Stealth Hoodie of Infiltration--it would have made climbing under the truck Cape Fear-style completely unnecessary. Maybe in his quest to free Audrey, the hoodie will make a comeback, along with the Aviator Glasses of Badness and the Messenger Bag of Intrepid Readiness.
This episode also brings '24' full-circle, as the whole story began with Jack's loved ones being captured and used by e-vil people to force him to do their e-vil bidding. It also reminds us that 24 always works when our boy Jack is permitted to kick some serious ass.
Maybe Jack will also have time for a bathroom break.
4 of 12 | Posted by jack | Posted on April 12, 2007 6:51 AM
Screaming, the cap about the wrench was hilarious. For some reason I didn't even notice that when I was watching. And I thought I had a trained eye for this stuff now...
I think it’s terrible that we are all so thrilled about this episode. Granted it was solid, but if this episode happened during season 2 or 4, we wouldn't have even batted an eye. It just goes to show how boring this season really has been that we are all bathing this episode in praise.
I agree about the Jack fight, it was almost as good as when he single handedly killed 10 guys in order to save Kim at the end of season 1. The best part was the music they fired up when the fistfight began. I was on the edge of my seat.
I wasn't really that surprised about Jack defusing the nuclear situation for good. Normally by the 12th episode, they conclude one storyline, and then start up another one for the last 12. They waited this time, and it had me slightly conufsed.
I agree with Screaming and the previous posters about the Audrey storyline being extremely predictable. If they don't show the person die on this show, they're not dead. The moment they casually mentioned to Jack that Audrey was dead, you knew she was alive. I think that's what has killed the show more than anything this season; it has become somewhat predictable all of a sudden. The only thing that hasn't been blatantly obvious was Jack killing Curtis, but even then, you knew something was going to happen because he signed on with another show. The only thing you didn’t know was how. Speaking of predicting things, does anyone else find it strange they have left the door open for a Milo terrorist angle? It was never cleared up about him "forgetting" to change the security parameters, and the situation seems eerily similar to Nina back in season 1. They gave us the equation back then:
Office romance curveball + Not completely resolved terrorist doing in the office x Slightly foreign looking person with a slightly unusual name = International terrorist.
We'll see, something is going to come up regarding the leak that allowed the terrorists in. It could just as easily be Mike, and that information he changed might have been his cover. I just think Milo's going to end up being a terrorist. I didn't trust him in season 1 either. He was a contractor. Normally contractors work for the highest bidder. Who's to say a terrorist didn't slide him a million to "forget" to set the security parameters? Only time will tell I guess.
5 of 12 | Posted by LagunaConsultant
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Posted on April 12, 2007 11:08 AM
Actually, I am a little worried that they are setting up Ricky Schroeder as Kiefer's possible replacement at some time. You know, hard-as-nails guy who reputedly enjoys torturing people, lots of murky backstory with minor characters who might turn up again in bigger roles later on, and under it all, a big gold heart and a very capable guy. Sound familiar? Hell of a twisted start to a possible later love story with Nadia, too. Does anyone else worry about this too? I only started watching 24 last season, and I was instantly hooked, but this season is really letting me down. Where the hell is Jack's father? Why in the world introduce the annoying sister-in-law? What was the deal with the whole Martha-stabs-Logan episode? Are all these threads now going to come together with the Chinese guy and Audrey? I know they have left threads hanging before, but... (By the way, does anybody know what ended up happening last year with the First Lady's secretary and her daughter? Last thing I knew, she was bleeding on the floor, Robocop came in the room, the little girl screamed and... never heard from them again. Cold!)
6 of 12 | Posted by Mo | Posted on April 12, 2007 1:30 PM
Dagnabbit, looks like they switched out General Walsh and threw in Admiral Smith while I wasn't looking. Sorry about that. Thanks for the catch, Tony A.
I just tripped over my own ineptitude!
7 of 12 | Posted by Screamapillar | Posted on April 12, 2007 1:56 PM
FANtastic show, start to finish, back to the basic "24" 101. I knew it was coming...could have happened sooner, but I'll take it. And Mo, 24 has a huge list of characters MIA - the most famous being Behrooz. He's even replaced Waldo ! But anywho, great stuff Scream and glad to see you're back to "enjoying" the show. It's getting annoying reading all the bad press, because if you're a true fan, you appreciate any 24 action at all. So was it just me or was anyone else screaming at Jack to call for back up before he came out of hiding to fight the masses? And this time he only had ONE gun and floating rib fragments !
8 of 12 | Posted by jules | Posted on April 12, 2007 3:14 PM
Yes, CALL FOR BACKUPS!! biggest bullet clip ever....
I'm a little worried too about the Doyle for Bauer thing...
Audrey isn't in china, only 12 or 13 hours ago the chinnesse guy was delivering Jack to CTU in L.A. that guy it's soo death by the end of the season, can't wait fot it!
Good recap and episode.
9 of 12 | Posted by ronclone | Posted on April 13, 2007 8:15 AM
Holy s*it, Scream, your screenshot captions are priceless. By the second one I was laughing so hard I was crying, and my boyfriend was giving me weird looks from the couch. You should caption for a living. Or maybe not, because that's lame. But great recap anyway.
10 of 12 | Posted by Beatriz | Posted on April 13, 2007 9:27 PM
24 ripped off another plot device from Prisonbreak this week when they had Fayed escape into the innards of a tunnel. What the hell was all that underground? Looked like a linen room stacked with towels AND a garbage truck hanging out in the middle of the spacious subterranean area. Tunnel innards don't look like that. I was waiting for agent Kellerman to whisk Fayed away.
Poster Jack, you cracked me up repeatedly. Thanks.
And I can't get over how abruptly this arc ended. I'm not looking forward to the Audrey thing too much. I seriously hope the Pres needs to call Crazy Logan (at The Bungalow) to call Mrs. Head of China to arrange Audrey's release. That would be fun.
11 of 12 | Posted by Big McLargehuge | Posted on April 14, 2007 8:28 PM
I've only see three seasons of 24....but Ricky's...er...Doyle's line of "Damn Jack" was the best ever. that's basically how i felt after the shoot out/chain death scene. jack is so badass, i love it.
Scream...you crack me up....."as I lovingly stroke my framed David Palmer photograph" LOLOL!! still laughing!
keep up the great work!
12 of 12 | Posted by y2kcsc
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Posted on April 15, 2007 5:32 PM