Meanwhile, Jack is laying it all out for Logan - he is a prisoner under Jack's care and he is to do nothing until Jack says so. Logan says he knows what his role is and that he just wants to help out. "As far as I'm concerned you will never do anything that will erase what you've already done," sneers Jack. Aw. Nice Oprah moment right there, guys. Now hug and remember your spirit.

Worst road trip ever.

In the car, Logan drones on about how this is the first time he's left that house in a year. Of course, he doesn't need to tell Jack what it's like to be locked up. Poor Jack just sits there, severely repressing the urge to be the first man to toss an ex-President out of a moving car. Logan says that solitude gives you the chance to listen to "the voice of your deepest self", which will allow you to heal. So Logan's a Jesus freak AND a dirty hippy now? I wonder what Martha would have to say about all this. Bill calls to inform Jack of the assassination attempt, and that it is currently being blamed on Assad, who is now dead. Jack insists that this makes no sense, and after more or less of an "I dunno" from Bill, he hangs up and tells Logan what happened. Of note, the bags under Logan's eyes have grown from a minor facial quirk last year to a veritable distraction this season. You could carry groceries in those things.

Back in the Presidential Bunker O'Death, doctors are still working on Palmer. And who should have a front seat but everyone's favorite little assassin, Reed. He goes to make a phone call and jumps about five feet in the air when some dude (Michael C. Hall's long lost brother, by the looks of it) informs him that the VP is being briefed in the conference room, and that Lennox should be there. Reed squeaks out yet another excuse and changes the subject. To ballroom dancing!

Not shady at all.

VP Daniels is informed that the Palmer has sustained shrapnel wounds to the neck and upper chest, and that he is unconscious and will be for the rest of the episode. Daniels, thrilled to finally be getting some screen time, eyebrows all over the place. The Secretary of Defense, played by Bob Gunton, the evil warden from The Shawshank Redemption (so I just want to punch him in the face), breaks the terrible news that Daniels is now in charge and will be arriving shortly. And who's the first person he wants to see when his plane lands? Why, Tom Lennox of course! Reed does one of those Jon Stewart ageeeew noises while loosening his tie and wiping his brow. Well, not really, but he's thinking it and maybe even chuckling to himself, like I am.

Warden of Defense (does he have a name yet?) corners Reed and demands to know where Lennox is. Reed doesn't miss a beat. This guy is an Excuses Factory. He spouts more LIES, which prompts the Secret Service to issue a 1020 on Tom Lennox. I'll translate for you. It means that it's time for a good old-fashioned game of Hide The Chief Of Staff, the Secret Service are it, and they're determined to win the Lennox cup this year.

« Good Times Never Seemed So...Gross | | Not Really Cool As Ice »

Posted in 24 by Screampiller at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)
Last Comment: BlondeGirl on Mar 15, 2007 10:40 PM.

Comments (17)

Remy11 :

Screampillar, I thought your recap was great. Making 24 recaps funny is difficult, and I really enjoyed it. Keep it up! BTW, great call on the Russian Tom Lennox! Also looks like we FINALLY get to see Aaron and Martha next week! Woo hoo!

1 of 17 | Posted by Remy11 | Posted on March 8, 2007 11:18 AM

Emilita33 :

Good job Sreampiller! I particularly enjoyed the "Legends of the Hidden Temple" reference. Well done.

2 of 17 | Posted by Emilita33 | Posted on March 8, 2007 11:43 AM

hardlyworking :

Screampillar, you did a great job with this recap. There were lots of screenshots and snark...just the way I love my recaps!

And finally we got to see Jack cut off another appendage. Is that great TV or what??

3 of 17 | Posted by hardlyworking | Posted on March 8, 2007 11:59 AM

Firecat :

"That finger will make a great addition to Jack's dismembered-appendages-of-foreign-diplomats charm bracelet"

Brilliant!

I think we can now rest, knowing '24' is in good hands.

4 of 17 | Posted by Firecat | Posted on March 8, 2007 12:45 PM

parttimecynic :

And the 24 recap tradition lives on...

The American Idol caption absolutely killed me.

5 of 17 | Posted by parttimecynic | Posted on March 8, 2007 1:34 PM

Jojobear :

Great recap Screampillar!

Did you guys see the previews for next week? Martha is confronting President Pussy as AARON is sitting beside her all lovey-like! They totally hooked up. I knew it!

6 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear | Posted on March 8, 2007 2:32 PM

Jojobear :

I too, noticed that we will get to see Martha and her boytoy Aaron next week! Yay!

Great recap Screampillar!

7 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear | Posted on March 8, 2007 2:34 PM

Jojobear :

Sorry for my double posts, I thought I cancelled the first one. D'oh! It won't happen again!

8 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear | Posted on March 8, 2007 3:49 PM

Deb :

It has to be said -- why on EARTH was Jack walking toward the door at the end? Did he possibly think he was going to just walk right out? That was one of the most non-Jack Bauer moments I've ever seen out of him. Perhaps being in the field with Milo was too much for him?

9 of 17 | Posted by Deb | Posted on March 8, 2007 7:38 PM

brilliantmistake :

Excellent job, Screampillar. I'm very glad you're taking over the recaps.

Deb, I was thinking the same thing about Jack just strolling towards the door. Had he forgotten about the horde of angry Russian guards on the other side?

10 of 17 | Posted by brilliantmistake | Posted on March 8, 2007 10:13 PM

Jules :

LOL Crafty Bastard University !!! Will be thinking that line all day. Thanks Screampillar, you made my day. Loved this episode, loved the recap, loved the previews, but there's only 12 episodes left.

11 of 17 | Posted by Jules | Posted on March 9, 2007 3:00 AM

your_therapeutic_smile :

yeah i agree - this recap was great! 24 is in good hands for sure :)

12 of 17 | Posted by your_therapeutic_smile | Posted on March 10, 2007 1:00 PM

Junzilla :

Great recap Screampillar! I admit I was reluctant at first but it was pretty amazing to read. Keep up the good work.

13 of 17 | Posted by Junzilla | Posted on March 10, 2007 5:19 PM

y2kcsc :

YEAH SCREAMPILLER!! I'm new to TVgasm and became addicted to your recaps of Friday Night Lights. I'm so glad that you will now be doing 24! you are too funny! I love the screencaps!

14 of 17 | Posted by y2kcsc | Posted on March 10, 2007 7:49 PM

rikkidbs :

wow great recap i laughed my rear off keep it coming :)

15 of 17 | Posted by rikkidbs | Posted on March 12, 2007 6:24 PM

Sam :

This might be a SPOILER but I might just be talking out of my ass. Anyway, Palmer 2.0 isn't going to die. The FCC prohibits the killing of a president on television. It's OK if the president is no longer in office or if it's the vice president, but the president himself can not be killed. I'm not sure why, but that's why the President was the only one who survived the Air Force One plane crash a couple seasons ago.

Just a little heads up.

16 of 17 | Posted by Sam | Posted on March 13, 2007 4:24 PM

BlondeGirl :

"She should order a Hot Pocket or something."

Hilarious. I was worried about what was going to become of this recap because the B-Side recaps of 24 are what got me to watch the show in the first place and I love this show and the snark-laden recaps more than life itself so it's good to know that the baton has been passed to a worthy successor - it was a much more seamless transition than the RW and Hills ones.

17 of 17 | Posted by BlondeGirl | Posted on March 15, 2007 10:40 PM

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