Reed sneaks off to his Boiler Room of Treasonous Madness, where his goon is lecturing Lennox on the merits of assassinations. Reed bursts in and gives the goon some juicy updates. Then they brainstorm on what to do with Lennox. Goon says that he can make it look like a suicide, but Reed insists that they cannot kill Tom Lennox. "Why noooot?" the goon whines. "Because we are NOT murderers!" shouts Reed. "And we are NOT standing in a boiler room and I am NOT wearing women's underwear!" Oh, Mr. Reed. Lying does not become you.
Goon is not a fan of this plan, but Reed insists he can make it work. Because he's got one hell of a track record so far. He stoops down in front of Lennox and untapes his mouth. They have yet another mini-debate over the merits and drawbacks of, you know, killing the president. Reed points out that now that Daniels is in charge, he'll approve Lennox's proposal and they can continue the noble mission of obliterating the civil rights of Arab-Americans. Someone call the pope, we've got a couple of saints here! ("Hi, Pope? Yeah, it's me. Yep, it's about 24 again...") Lennox also reveals that the bomb had been engineered to look like one of Assad's weapons, so it's almost assuredly going to fall completely on him, totally defeating the purpose of all that peacemaking nonsense. "No one needs to know the truth," insists Reed. Tom agrees, sort of.
They emerge from the room, and I'm really hopeful there are some people out there so that Lennox can walk out saying something like, "Yep! The pressure gauges look fine in there!" but alas, no such magic happens. The Secret Service catches up with them and for a moment Lennox looks like he's going to cave under the steely will of ex-Mr. Hilary Swank, but ultimately declares that Reed and Goon (Partners in Evil) are responsible for the attempted assassination, and demands that they be arrested. NICE! I yell at the screen, scaring Little Jack Bauer (the hamster, not...you know). Lennox surrenders himself into custody until he can talk to the Attorney General, and Reed and Goon (The Musical!) are handcuffed. Lennox and Reed glare at each other with an intensity that could take down a bull moose.
"Mondays are awful, am I right people?"
After the commercials, Daniels deplanes and begins talking to some random blonde, who brings him up to date on the situation. He immediately demands to talk to CTU, which is probably what I would do if I were to suddenly become president (and God help us all if that ever came to be). Bill answers the phone and tries to explain the situation with Logan. Daniels sneers that he's surprised Palmer had authorized this, but Bill insists that it's the only lead they have at the moment, and that Logan is under the watch of Jack Bauer. And that is reason ENOUGH, dammit.
Jack and Logan arrive at the consulate, where Logan says that he needs to speak to Markov alone. Jack predictably flips out over this, but Logan makes a good point in that he's not exactly going to seek asylum in there or anything, so Jack relents but remains wary. They are at a consulate, after all. Jack could start another war if he felt like it.
Logan meets a very Russian Markov, who greets him with a "Miiiiister President!" I half expect Logan to counter with "Coooonsul Stereotype!" Markov offers his condolences and offers to help, from one eyebag to another. Logan explains the deal with Gredenko and the Russian bombs, but Markov insists that those weapons had been destroyed and that he doesn't know where Gredenko is. Logan doesn't believe him, and plays his trump card: he knows Markov was involved in supplying the sentox nerve gas last season, and Logan will release the tapes to Moscow if he doesn't give up Gredenko's whereabouts. Markov still denies any knowledge of Gredenko, so Logan eventually caves and says he believes him. Markov agrees to make some calls, but doesn't think anyone he knows is still in contact with Gredenko. The atmosphere is frosty, to say the least. They shake hands and Logan leaves, once again falling into the sweet, sweet embrace of Jack Bauer.
"In Soviet Russia, cigar smokes you!"
He catches Jack up but insists that Markov is lying, since he's done enough scheming to be able to recognize it when he sees it. Hell, those two should get together and establish Crafty Bastard University. Jack, who sort of looks bored with this whole thing by now, secures Logan back in the car.
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Comments (17)
Screampillar, I thought your recap was great. Making 24 recaps funny is difficult, and I really enjoyed it. Keep it up! BTW, great call on the Russian Tom Lennox! Also looks like we FINALLY get to see Aaron and Martha next week! Woo hoo!
1 of 17 | Posted by Remy11
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Posted on March 8, 2007 11:18 AM
Good job Sreampiller! I particularly enjoyed the "Legends of the Hidden Temple" reference. Well done.
2 of 17 | Posted by Emilita33
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Posted on March 8, 2007 11:43 AM
Screampillar, you did a great job with this recap. There were lots of screenshots and snark...just the way I love my recaps!
And finally we got to see Jack cut off another appendage. Is that great TV or what??
3 of 17 | Posted by hardlyworking
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Posted on March 8, 2007 11:59 AM
"That finger will make a great addition to Jack's dismembered-appendages-of-foreign-diplomats charm bracelet"
Brilliant!
I think we can now rest, knowing '24' is in good hands.
4 of 17 | Posted by Firecat
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Posted on March 8, 2007 12:45 PM
And the 24 recap tradition lives on...
The American Idol caption absolutely killed me.
5 of 17 | Posted by parttimecynic
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Posted on March 8, 2007 1:34 PM
Great recap Screampillar!
Did you guys see the previews for next week? Martha is confronting President Pussy as AARON is sitting beside her all lovey-like! They totally hooked up. I knew it!
6 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on March 8, 2007 2:32 PM
I too, noticed that we will get to see Martha and her boytoy Aaron next week! Yay!
Great recap Screampillar!
7 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on March 8, 2007 2:34 PM
Sorry for my double posts, I thought I cancelled the first one. D'oh! It won't happen again!
8 of 17 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on March 8, 2007 3:49 PM
It has to be said -- why on EARTH was Jack walking toward the door at the end? Did he possibly think he was going to just walk right out? That was one of the most non-Jack Bauer moments I've ever seen out of him. Perhaps being in the field with Milo was too much for him?
9 of 17 | Posted by Deb
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Posted on March 8, 2007 7:38 PM
Excellent job, Screampillar. I'm very glad you're taking over the recaps.
Deb, I was thinking the same thing about Jack just strolling towards the door. Had he forgotten about the horde of angry Russian guards on the other side?
10 of 17 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on March 8, 2007 10:13 PM
LOL Crafty Bastard University !!! Will be thinking that line all day. Thanks Screampillar, you made my day. Loved this episode, loved the recap, loved the previews, but there's only 12 episodes left.
11 of 17 | Posted by Jules
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Posted on March 9, 2007 3:00 AM
yeah i agree - this recap was great! 24 is in good hands for sure :)
12 of 17 | Posted by your_therapeutic_smile
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Posted on March 10, 2007 1:00 PM
Great recap Screampillar! I admit I was reluctant at first but it was pretty amazing to read. Keep up the good work.
13 of 17 | Posted by Junzilla
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Posted on March 10, 2007 5:19 PM
YEAH SCREAMPILLER!! I'm new to TVgasm and became addicted to your recaps of Friday Night Lights. I'm so glad that you will now be doing 24! you are too funny! I love the screencaps!
14 of 17 | Posted by y2kcsc
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Posted on March 10, 2007 7:49 PM
wow great recap i laughed my rear off keep it coming :)
15 of 17 | Posted by rikkidbs
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Posted on March 12, 2007 6:24 PM
This might be a SPOILER but I might just be talking out of my ass. Anyway, Palmer 2.0 isn't going to die. The FCC prohibits the killing of a president on television. It's OK if the president is no longer in office or if it's the vice president, but the president himself can not be killed. I'm not sure why, but that's why the President was the only one who survived the Air Force One plane crash a couple seasons ago.
Just a little heads up.
16 of 17 | Posted by Sam
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Posted on March 13, 2007 4:24 PM
"She should order a Hot Pocket or something."
Hilarious. I was worried about what was going to become of this recap because the B-Side recaps of 24 are what got me to watch the show in the first place and I love this show and the snark-laden recaps more than life itself so it's good to know that the baton has been passed to a worthy successor - it was a much more seamless transition than the RW and Hills ones.
17 of 17 | Posted by BlondeGirl
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Posted on March 15, 2007 10:40 PM