Some people were wondering if 24 could possibly be as good as it was last season. Some people were wondering if it was going to be worth the wait. Some people were wondering what the hell had to happen for Jack to get to come back from the dead. I think all of those questions were answered last night, and more. With the lights and the phone turned off, and the tivo obediently recording the show in all it's glory, I was set to witness the first two hours of another crazy day. The show comes in from a very different angle, but it isn't so worried about being so different that we can't enjoy all of aspects of the show that we have grown to love. The first ten minutes were unbelievable, and it just got better from there. Jack is back with a vengeance, and it's got me twice as hard as any perimeter that CTU could have ever imagined.
As I said in my last post about 24, Jack faked his own death at the end of the last season, which took place a year and half prior to when this season starts. There were a few suits that were going to let Jack be the political fallout for all of the shit we had to do to stop a nuclear missile from hitting Los Angeles. For some people, it may have been hard to give up your identity, and start over, but Jack is pretty good at this. His wife is dead, his daughter is in good hands (or at least in good hand, depending on how Chase's physical therapy has been going), and he just killed his girlfriend's ex-husband, so she's probably not losing too much sleep. Jack has been spending his time working in an oil field, and has is now known as Frank. Times look tough, but at least he isn't in some prison in the Guangxi province waiting for his organs to be harvested for a transplant.
Back in Jack's old hometown, Los Angeles, President Palmer and his brother Wayne are hanging out. He is supposed to be writing his memoirs, but it looks like there is something on his mind. Wayne sees that his brother is distracted, but I think that his real problem is that it looks like he needs some action. No, I am sure he has had his share of hotties since he left office, and that doctor was pretty cute. "I used to be President and my ex-wife is dead, so she can't bother you" has got to be a great pick-up line, and I am sure those big hands don't hurt. No, Palmer needs the action from the executive branch, and when he picks up the paper and reads how President Logan is just about to sign a arms treaty with the Russians, you can see it hurts him that his legacy of saving the country three times might be overlooked. Then again, he doesn't have to worry about if very long, because as he stares out the window, a bullet comes through, hitting him in the neck. It's official, David Palmer is now a dead president, and I never saw it coming.
Wow. I felt sadness, anger, grief, and this guy really didn't even exist. I didn't cry though, but I am sure many people did. He's been with us since our first moments of the show, has always stood behind Jack, and was great at making tough choices. He survived attempts on his life, and one very crazy ex wife. You might not agree with him, but you had to admire him, and that includes the current head of state, President Logan. I like to call him President Pussy and not because I am a Friend of Vaginas, but because he is always flapping in the wind. He can't make a decision to save his life, and is always more worried about how he looks to others than actually doing anything that will make him look good. At the time of the shooting, he has been complaining that his crazy wife is going to embarrass him during the signing of this arms treaty. When he hears the news, even he is shocked into silence, but not to worry, CTU is on the case.
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Comments (21)
I'd never watched this before because I was afraid I wouldn't know what was going on, but I tried it last night. That girl who plays the computer nerd is strangely attractive.
1 of 21 | Posted by The Cavalier
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Posted on January 16, 2006 11:36 AM
So, I'm watching 24, and when all our favorites come back, I'm like, remembering all the TVGasm posts from last season. As soon as Palmer died (which made me super sad) I knew Michelle and Tony were in trouble when they showed up. Way to kick the season off with a bang. We'll need a hard perimeter stat! PS EVERYONE dies at the CTU infirmary. That Erin lady's daughter, Paul, the guy Jack had them save instead of Paul, Jack...the list goes on (I'm sure I'm forgetting some). Looking forward to tonight!
2 of 21 | Posted by Lauren
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Posted on January 16, 2006 11:43 AM
PS Great recap and title. I will be laughing about "aviator glasses of badness" all day. It's so true. I love how everyone is just like, "Oh, Jack's alive, of course he's the one who did it! Duh! I mean we've believed he's dead for 18 months and all but whatever!"
3 of 21 | Posted by Lauren
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Posted on January 16, 2006 11:49 AM
What a great episode. When Jack pulled out the Duffel Bag of Pain, and slipped on the Aviator Glasses, I stood up and cheered. And there was a perimeter around the garage, the FBI guy said, "Give up Jack! The perimeter is sealed!" YEAH RIGHT!!!
I hope that Tony doesn't die, but being in the CTU infirmary is a bad sign. Fortunately, he took a sip from his trusty Cubs mug before getting caught in the fireball, so he should have some extra strength to fortify him. Either that, or he's boozin' again.
Have no fear, Curtis has plenty of time to catch up. Remember last year, it took six or seven episodes before he busted out of CTU to sing his badass song.
4 of 21 | Posted by dumbanddumber
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Posted on January 16, 2006 12:58 PM
Just a little note: bad guy Walt is the same actor who played bad guy Goodwin on Lost! Hint hint!
He's good at playing the bad guy.
5 of 21 | Posted by Tracie
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Posted on January 16, 2006 1:04 PM
# 5: the actor playing Goodwin on lost is Brett Cullen. Walt is played by John Allen Nelson...Sorry two different people...
6 of 21 | Posted by Phenom
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Posted on January 16, 2006 1:29 PM
hey, does anyone besides me wanna strangle The Walking Speech Impediment Edgar with one of Jack's stealthy toys? i mean i felt bad for him last season, with his old mom dying and all, but enough is enough!
7 of 21 | Posted by UrMomSaysHi
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Posted on January 16, 2006 1:35 PM
I cant believe Palmer is dead :( I feel like I've lost a friend.
However, this season is shaping up to be a great one. I'm very excited to see what happens next!
8 of 21 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on January 16, 2006 1:44 PM
Allright! Make a pot of coffee, set a hard perimeter (or ten), and fire up the cattle prod . . . 24 is BACK! Gotta love this show. I mean, killing two of the shows principal characters in the first ten minutes. No other major network show has the balls to do that.
One thing that didn't get mentioned in Jack's waredrobe with the Aviator Glasses of Badness is the new Special Ops Wristwatch of Doom. Loved the product placement pause of about a half second after he put it on . . . No time for product placement MAN, I've got laws to break & people to torture.
All I can say is that I hope I'm never the guy that Jack is about to question after he tells a woman and a kid to go away.
Looks like it's going to be a great season.
9 of 21 | Posted by Pierce
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Posted on January 16, 2006 2:51 PM
Some thoughts from Podger:
- So glad I have found TVgasm for this season. Awesome recap. "Aviator Glasses of Badness", "President Pussy", classics. Can't wait to spend the season with you.
- I too immediately thought Diane was a Rene Russo knockoff from the Lethal Weapon movies. And what's with the Die Hard stuff going on at the end?
- Jack is a badass and I've already lost track of the body count two hours into the season.
- HATE that Palmer died. Other than Jack, Palmer was my favorite character.
- Looking forward to seeing how Audrey and Kim react to the fact that Jack is back.
- And, I have to admit, Chloe is growing on me. I might actually start to like her this season. And poor Edgar, he just leaves me speechless, in a lispy sort of way
- You are right, Jack against an airport full of terrorists. They don't stand a chance.
24 KICKS ROCKS!
10 of 21 | Posted by Podger
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Posted on January 16, 2006 2:51 PM
Thanks, Phenom. I feel like a dope, but I'd be a bigger one if I was to tell everyone I knew that fact!
They look so much alike, are you sure they're not brothers? :)
11 of 21 | Posted by Tracie
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Posted on January 16, 2006 3:16 PM
Such a good premiere. I had a strange feeling that Palmer would be biting it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because Fox kept hyping up the first ten minutes. But I was definitely shocked by Michelle! I mean, look how refreshed she seemed in her new expensive, modern kitchen. It was like she was living in a Yoplait commercial. And then for her to die like that? Unfair!
Also, I'm really glad about the premise of this season so far. I like the whodunit angle and the hostage crisis. The hostage crisis will obviously be just a short term event, but the whodunit should give this season a clear through-line. As long as the writers realize that there's no need to try to top themselves every three episodes, this season should rock.
12 of 21 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on January 16, 2006 4:28 PM
Did anyone else think that the first 10-15 minutes or so weren't taking place in real time? It seemed as if, for example, the Tony/Michelle car explosion happened and then, suddenly, everyone knew about it and that Tony was at CTU. I've always liked the "minute-by-minute" aspect of the show and I think it settled down after the first half hour. Does anyone else think this or is it just me?
13 of 21 | Posted by Acton Bell
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Posted on January 16, 2006 4:45 PM
Loved the premiere. I was trying to keep track of how many people were getting jacked up, but I lost count after a couple minutes.
Aviator glasses of badness? Awesome. And whoever posted about the duffel bag of pain? Also awesome.
I'm definitely stoked about the next several Mondays. These first 4 hours did not disappoint.
14 of 21 | Posted by k8thegr8
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Posted on January 16, 2006 8:06 PM
I don't know, I wasn't too pumped about what I saw in these first two hours. Perhaps I'm still being cautious after the ridiculous convoluted mess that was season four.
Definitely saw the Palmer hit coming, but the Michelle? Niiiice.
This season should be good as long as the show doesn't fall into the "Now we have to top this" trap that was the downfall of a lot of last season. Saw some good stuff in these first two episodes though, I'm looking forward to this season.
Hands down best part of the evening...
Jack: "The only reason you're still concious is because I don't want to carry you".
Classic Jack. God, I love him, I'd have his baby through my penishole.
15 of 21 | Posted by J
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Posted on January 16, 2006 8:16 PM
#11: It's cool, Tracie. No problem..
16 of 21 | Posted by Phenom
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Posted on January 16, 2006 8:33 PM
I actually said "Eeeeee!" and waved my arms in the air when the show first came on. Oh, Jack, how we have missed you.
I didn't see the ex-Palmering coming, but once that happened (sniff), I wasn't surprised by Michelle and Tony.
If only the writers wouldn't keep distracting from Jack's badassness by throwing in petulant waste of oxygen adolescents; first Kim, now this kid. Let them die and get on with the utter fabulousness of Jack (and support from Chloe, Curtis, etc.)
Jack is back!
17 of 21 | Posted by lurkertype
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Posted on January 16, 2006 10:03 PM
I'm glad to see them quickly dispatch with the dead weight that had been hanging around since the first season (Palmer was a great character, but how long can an ex-president hang around. President Pussy must have the spotlight 100%!) Glad to see a return of *slightly more* plausible plot points after last seasons "every 3 episodes" dictum of something even more diabolical than the last (aren't most terrorists pretty dumb? in hollywood). Thanks for the great recap. Really looking forward to this season!
18 of 21 | Posted by djlovekraft
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Posted on January 16, 2006 10:17 PM
I thought this premiere, all four hours of it, was pretty sweet. I was bummed when Palmer died, but then I thought What Would Jack Do? He wouldn't cry or be sad; he's too badass for that. I'm rooting for Tony, but when someone goes into the care of CTU, they're pretty much screwed. I must say, I was pretty startled to see Chloe in her PJ's, but seeing her turn down Spencer's advances and tell him to get out made up for the scare. Although we've already met this season's annoying kid in the first few minutes, at least Jack put him in his place with, "The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you". I laughed out loud at the badassness of that line.
Call me a simple man, but I loved this part of the recap "his daughter is in good hands (or at least in good hand, depending on how Chase's physical therapy has been going)".
Although I don't trust Spencer, I have a feeling that the writers will trick us and he'll just be a jerk, instead of a bad guy. Does anyone else think it's kind of funny that one of the only trustworthy people in President Pussy's inner circle is the always scheming Mike? I hope he hatches another scheme to get President Incompetent out of power. Logan aggravates me almost as much as Driscoll. Does anyone else think that the First Lady's handler, whatever her name is, seems a little shady?
On a technical note, doesn't anybody use at least an MD5 hash to verify that a file hasn't been changed? I mean first there was the "unaltered" video showing Jack at the scene of the crime, and then the telephone recording that magically has words inserted and the entire conversation changed without anyone suspecting a thing. I guess it's a good thing that I don't know enough about networks to notice all the flaws in Chloe's "hacker" pseudo jargon.
Good job on quickly posting a recap, J-Unit.
19 of 21 | Posted by Elder Young
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Posted on January 16, 2006 10:17 PM
Awesome, awesome show. Right off the bat I’m loving it and rolling my eyes at the ridiculous plot holes. I was legitimately shocked when Palmer was killed. Never saw it coming and didn’t even hear a whisper of it on the internet before hand. It really upset me. He was my favorite character. And don’t forget the beautiful Michelle is also dead. I wonder if this means Tony Almeida is unconscious for the whole show? Since this is the same guy who got shot in the neck a few seasons ago and was up again in 3 hours, I daresay we haven’t sent eh last of Mr. Almeida.
I like the how actor who plays President Pussy is mimicking Nixon with his gestures and body language. It’s a nice touch.
Do you think Chloe has that sour puss and rolls her eyes during sex too?
20 of 21 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on January 17, 2006 6:47 AM
And another thing. IS jack banging the redhead or no? I couldnt really tell. It looked like they were just kind of friends and maybe flirting but no boom boom.
21 of 21 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on January 17, 2006 6:52 AM