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Shock to the Heart, and Jack's to Blame - TVgasm

by J-Unit

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jack_shocks_paulLet me make this clear, I had a very difficult time watching Rosie O'Donnell's movie, Riding the Bus With My Sister, and it's not because of the bad writing, bad acting, and bad direction. No, I get my fill each week watching the mentally challenged try and get things done, even when they know they are way over their heads. In every new episode of 24, some federal agent or government bureaucrat makes the case that they should be sterilized when it comes to trying and save our country. Some people just can't handle the responsibility. Thankfully, somebody has decided the place needs adult supervision or a terrorist might, you know, detonate a bomb and kill millions. Enter former President David Palmer.

We were never big fans of President Logan. He is spineless, can't make a decision, and let's his ego get in the way of his thought process. I like to refer to him as President Pussy. He's such a huge pussy, he probably deserves his own Vagina Monologue, don't you think? Luckily for us, President Pussy does have some common sense, and he calls in President Palmer to stop the effing madness that he has created during an administration that is only three hours old. By the time President Palmer gets back to the White House, things are a shambles. Logan is doing his work from the bunker. "From the Bunker?" Palmer wonders. "I didn't try and find a bunker when the plague was about to hit LA, or when the plague actually hit me a few years back. He doesn't even have to hide from Sherry. Why is he in the bunker?"

Everybody is happy to see the President back, including his favorite Secret Service agent Aaron. I am actually surprised they didn't commission him as part of the President's Secret Service detail when he declined to run for a second term, but whatever. Palmer meets Logan, and Logan basically hands him the keys to everything and makes him the decision maker for the operations involving the recovery of the missing warhead. Any awkwardness that might have been around with Mike Novick in the room was soon put to rest. The president did have a good reason to have a beef with Mike over that little "you had me impeached" thing, but says that he knows Mike has the country's best interest in mind and that they will let bygones be bygones. How very diplomatic, or even Presidential of him.

In Los Angeles, Chloe was obviously in fine shape after her little run in with the guy trying to ram her into oblivion, reminding the paramedics she did the shooting, and that she was alright. She started working on the laptop that she had rescued in order to find as much information as possible on why this guy had all of these nuclear schematics on hand, or where he got them from. It turns out our Indian nuclear genius got his information from a Chinese nuclear genius, one Lee Jong. Oh man, you mean the communists are in on the deal? And it wasn't even Castro? Shit is going to go down! What was that? He was thrown out of China for falsifying his research and is likely doing all of it for money? Damn! I was ready to name name, and point fingers, and well, name names! By the way, if a communist was going to seek refuge in Los Angeles, I would probably check in on Sean Penn or Tim Robbins first.


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