Another solid two hours and recap. This season is off to a great start. And that's exactly why I don't watch the previews, they reveal waaaay too much about the upcoming episode. It's much better to go into a new hour with no idea what is going to happen.

Man, I don't know why, but assistant Evelyn is totally hot. Anyway...

Why did it take Curtis and his men 20 minutes to get into position for the rescue mission and then take ANOTHER 20 minutes to get into a new position once the first plan was scrapped? They had to go to a wall, stand behind it and get ready to shoot, what was so hard about that? What was THAT all about? Yet somehow, once Lynn figured out Jack's signal, Curtis and his men were able to move to yet another position in about 90 seconds to make the actual strike.

And why must every teenage son on this show have long, greasy hair? Derek? Check. Heller's son? Check. George Mason's son? Check. And no, Behrooz doesn't count. He had a vagina.

Jack's tender moment was odd. This is the guy who shoved a tie down some guy's throat in the back of a limo. He loved it too. God, I'm going to go nuts during Jack's first interrogation this season. That's the stuff dreams are made of.

Phenomenal recap, B-Side. I would like to make one suggestion though: in the vein of the "OC 'Hey!' count", how about a weekly body count for 24? Or at least a weekly "Chloe Face" count?

Wow, fastest recap ever B-Side.

Question : Have they said what Audrey position in Logan's administration is yet?

Also, love this show but gotta call BS on Novick's not having a headset or earpiece when he was talking on his cell phone. I mean c'mon, it's a press conference that he says the whole world is watching yet you've got some guy on the stage with the two presidents with his back turned talking on his flip phone. If Jack could get one of those nifty two-way earbuds from the terrorist in season one, then how come the president's staff or secret service can't lay their hands on one (or at least a Bluetooth).

Great episode and recap. I'm so glad this show is back on the air . . . it really proves that TV doesn't have to suck.

Who do I love more: Kiefer, B-Side or my darling hubby?

Kiefer because he's the meanest, badass, m-f'er that ever rocked my world?

B-Side because he writes the wittiest, funniest re-caps EVER?

My darling hubby for letting me get my rocks off to Kiefer & B-Side?

I think that we had the first "Dammit!" of the season last night when Jack found out that ol' Derek was floating around in the airport. Followed by a "Son of a bitch!" right after. It's great to have Jack back, but I sure hope that the Soul Patch is working it's magic to fix up Tony for a triumphant recovery in the next few weeks.

recap= fantastic.
turnaround= quick
24= A+

Take valium? OxyContin? Coca Cola? Extacy? Naah...just needed my weekly fix of JACK! I am in a daze and already in withdrawal because of no 2 hour episode tonight. As I secured the perimeter of my house last night it was penetrated no less than THREE times. Forcing me to torture, Jack style, the intruders for interrupting...uhhh, Jack.

Anyways. Excellent ep. and sooo glad that annoying Derrick kid is out of the way. He was becoming too Kim like. Always falling into the middle of shit. Kill him already, Jack.

PS. love President Pussy and his wife Maniac Martha.

Yeah, I’m not sure I’d call Michelle beloved. Tony is, but Michelle not so much. I’m also annoyed that the writers didn’t bother to inform us that Ontario Airport is in LA. How the hell are us non Los Angeleans supposed to know that? I thought that the show might for once go outside the greater LA area. They should do a season on DC. That would be sweet.

Stubbly terrorist #1 looks disturbingly like Bruce Willis.

Wouldn’t it be funny if when Jack is hiding someone calls him on his phone and he was one of those annoying ringtones like Crazy Frog?

They make up more nonsensical techie gobbledy gook for Chloe to say than any Star Trek episode ever made. She makes Geordi Laforge sound believable. I swear one of these episodes she’s going to have someone rout something through the flux capacitor.

The whole “insane first lady� thing is stale. I knew Sherri Palmer. I worked with her. You MRs. Pussy President, are no Sherri Palmer. Although they are making her a crazy but good first lady. So she’s like the Good Witch of the North to Sherris wicked witch of the east. I’ll give the new first lady one thing though. Shes had a nice booby.

THE hobbit doesn’t really fit in well. He’s so meek and doughy. Jacks shits are more intimidating.

Those CTU goons are useless. Even I knew "Flank 2" was code for help.

I cant wait for 4 episodes from now when we find out the whole hostage situation was a diversion from the diversion from the first part of the terrorists ultimate 4 part plan. Its gonna be another long day…

"In true form, Chloe sassed Bill..."
That's all the props she gets - ? C'mon!

"Actually, Bill, it was more like 26. Do you want me to find out who these guys are or go sit in a holding cell?" - Beautiful!

And thanks for the shifty eyes montage... I'm still laughing.

Bravo, B-Side, Bravo. This recap had me laughing my ass off, especially the eye montage. I need to set up a hard perimeter around my heart, because I am falling in love with these recaps.
Also, did anyone notice that after Martha took the keycard with that guy's crotch nasties on them, she put it IN HER MOUTH. Gross.

When Lynn came into CTU I knew Rudy would make things righ.

One thing, howcum the bad guys are always so far ahead of the good guys? It drives me nuts that we're always playing catchup.

Hello, can Curtis NOT put his phone on vibrate? "I'm in the middle of a tense hostage-rescue right now, but my cell phone just rang INCREDIBLY loud!!! DUH!! And, yeah, even my 11 year old son understood that "Flank 2" was a duress code. You're slipping, Bill. I love, love, LOVE Chloe and her rampant mouth and wacko Mrs. Pres...she's a hell of a lot more interesting than Pres. Pussy.

GREAT recap!!!!!

"The Shifty eyes of CTU"
Classic dude, Just classic..

So far, this is shaping up to be a classic season of 24. My snap judgement as to this season's plot seems to be way off, although IMDB's guest appearance list appears accurate thus far. Apparently there is no Chinese-backed assassination attempt on the Russian President by Jack as payback for the Chinese Consul. What was I thinking?

But lo and behold, Jack framed for killing Palmer!

And what is the only WMD we have not dealt with so far? That's right, kids. Chemical weapons! Those canisters were most likely Sarin, VX, or some obscure Russian chemical compound. Gas masks would not be needed if there was radioactivity. The meter that terrorist was using was not a geiger counter, but an air sampler. And keep in mind, they are not in a random warehouse, but somewhere in or on the airport grounds. The hostage incident was (as per usual) just a decoy to get the canisters through airport security.

Man this is going to be a fun season!

Congrats! TVgasm's 24 Recaps are having The Best Week Ever! YAY! At least that's what the VH1 Blog is saying!

They actually did mention that Ontario airport is in Los Angeles. Technically, however, it's just over the Los Angeles County line in San Bernardino County.

And I think the whole "Flank 2" thing was a major goof. "Flank 2" was the duress code when Jack was active, right? Curtis and Jack worked together in CTU. Why didn't Curtis pick up on Jack's duress code? Even if it wasn't the current one, it would still ring a bell with Curtis, no?

Great recap to match a great episode!

Help me out here - the guy who nearly got Lewinsky-d by Martha looked SO familiar...any idea where I've seen him before?

I would have been out of my mind with the first ten minutes of the first episode, except that I was STUPID enough to have accidentally read somewhere that Palmer and Michelle were toast (Michelle more so than Palmer, though. Actually, she was more char-grilled than anything).

"Brokeback Terrorist Unit" Spit on keyboard funny!

That Spencer guy has got to be in on this somehow. I was thinking so much of what has already been said here while I was watching these episodes.

I don't think the First Lady is crazy at all. I think she was stumbling upon some real intelligence and Mr. Assistant-Mole-Terrorist-Guy got wise to her and figured the only way to get her to shut-up and not have anyone else catch on, was to have a fictional "Dr. Hill" deem her crazy and prescribe a bunch of pills to keep her loopy so no one would ever listen to her. She is sane. I just hope she gets wise to it and stops taking those pills so she can start thinking clearly. Maybe then, she will leave President Pussy.

Oh, and those canisters? Nerve gas. Why else would they need those masks?

How about when Jack asked the crowd of former hostages if they saw the guy with the yellow tie and they were all just like Huh? Wha? And no one really gave him any eye contact much less an answer? It’s like, yeah, you’re welcome guys – I just saved your sorry asses and that’s all I get? Thanks. Jack gets absolutely no respect – even the CTU people always assume that he’s the bad guy even though he has saved the world a kagillion times.

Mrs TimGunn -

That actor is Taylor Nichols. I remembered him from "Bolier Room."

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0629737/

http://www.hbo.com/marriedman/the_show/cast_and_crew/taylor_nichols.shtml

If I remember correctly...

Jack wasn't officially working for CTU at the start of last season, and Curtis was new. Jack was fired at the end of season 3. So it's possible they changed the duress codes since Jack officially worked for CTU.

Spencer is certainly looking mole-y.

I sez to the Mr. "The President has PMS, doesn't he?" Seriously, check that guy for ovaries. And Mole Walt and the doctor are so obviously gaslighting the First Lady to discredit her. Who knows what's in that "medicine"?

I'm kinda with Bill on being unable to take the hobbit seriously.

I nearly did a spit take when I hit Page Down in the shifty-eyes montage. An instant recap that's funny too! B-Side is the Jack Bauer of recappers.

Thanks, ruplub! Exactly what I was looking for. That would have driven me nuts.

No problem, Mrs TimGunn!

My obsession with imdb.com is almost as great as my obsession with tvgasm and all things Jack Bauer.

I did try on IMDB, but they didn't even list him as an extra. Poor guy got snubbed.

Not sure I buy Spencer as a mole. I think he's evil in the same way I've always thought Mike Novick was evil. That guy redefines "shifty eyes" the same way I can see Spencer giving new meaning to the concept of "bedroom eyes". Mostly harmless, though.

Awesome recap B-side. Pulling an all-nighter for us. You're the best.
It's looking like it's going to be another great season for 24. Although Jack truly dropped the ball when he had his tender moment with Derek/Derrick instead of making sure that the hostage mole was secure. Totally not like Jack to slip up on something like that. I would guarantee you Diane and son are kidnapped and hopefully the terrorists will give the kid a haircut.
LOVE Mrs. Psycho First Lady. She's no Sherri Palmer, but I think she's a lot savvier and a lot smarted than any of us think yet.
Finally, I don't think the Jack as the rogue agent is over yet. Fox hyped it up too much to let it be over that fast. Something will happen that sets him up again. Remember, we aren't even close to the real plot of the season yet. That's usually doesn't happen until at least hour 6 or 7.

I have never seen anyone with a neck wattle as expressive as President Pussy.

#27 Bauer's Sweetheart - Two words for ya : George Lucas . . . Case closed.

I must say that in the neck wattle race they're neck and neck - Heyoooo! I'll be here all week . . . don't forget to tip your waitress, they're doing a great job tonight!

OK, af. Point taken. But Bill has been in CTU for a LOOOOOOONGGG time, at least as long as Jack. And he completely forgot the duress signal from just a couple of years ago? He did say that he went through the whole thing -- looking for such a signal -- and found nothing. Not credible.

Let the suspension of disbelief begin! I knew things were going to be outrageous when Diane said on Sunday night that she was at the 10 and 210 interchange that doesn't exist and then took 20 minutes to get to the Ontario airport. So now it will probably take Jack ten minutes to get back to CTU from San Bernardino County. I too noticed that Martha put that key card in her mouth after that dude did not was his hands. That sent my obssessive compulsive disorder into overdrive. The stuff in the canisters is nerve gas and we know this thanks to FOX and their commercials for next weeks show. I'm so glad 24 is back. I wish it were on every night for 2 hours. They really spoil us with the 4 hour overdose.

I would also like to mention that I love, love, love James Morrison and am super happy he is back full time-until they kill him off that is.

the 4 hour kick-start and the excellent recaps were a real treat after the last month or so's TV drought. what better way to start a new year than with jack bauer and 24, the best show on tv? can darryl 'moose' johnston be wrong? (er . . . don't answer that.)

we didn't have to wait five minutes for our first hard perimeter, or our first shocking major-character elimination. a pity it had to be palmer, greatest tv president ever (sorry, jed bartlett fans, but, to borrow from lloyd bentsen, 'i've met david palmer, i've served with david palmer, and sir, you are no david palmer'). but, while not even the svengali writing staff of 24 can resurrect the great d-palm to protect us all from nuclear annihilation, by the end of the hour, we were afforded the reassuring knowledge that dennis haysbert will be around to protect us from high auto insurance rates and the dreaded 'swoop and stop' for years to come.

of course, 24 is already off to the races with the unlikelies, improbables, and downright-impossibles: was there really no one better for palmer to pass on sensitive information regarding a national security matter to than the bi-polar 1st lady? what kind of super-bad-ass russian terrorist dude wouldn't at least ask what the hell a flank 2 position is? what is a case of nerve gas doing buried under the ontario airport terminal?

and what ever happened to behrooz?

but hey, part of the fun of 24 is overlooking the obvious gaps in logic and realism and just enjoying the pleasure of watching jack pop a cap into whoever messes with him, his friends, his hero d-palm, or his beloved USA. i'm a little sorry they brought audrey back into the picture, but i foresee a potential catfight between her and diane, played by 'spin-city' vet connie britton (from michael j. fox's smirking politico to jack bauer--has anyone ever had a better upgrade?). and while the 1st lady is nuts, i never dreamed i'd see jean smart flashing one of her jubblies (and charlene just never looked that good back when she was redecorating atlanta mcmansions with julia, suzanne, and mary jo--how'd president pussy get such a hottie? oh yeah--she's totally f'in nuts). last but not least, samwise shows up, having sworn off the pastoral life, cleaned himself up, and cut back on the pub ale, looking more rudy-ish than he's been in years. it's a little hard to take mikey as a condescending bureacrat, but at least he knows what a flank 2 position is.

here's to a new day of ass-kicking, moral compromise, high-level intrigue and deception, and aversion of national disaster.

B-Side always has the money recaps! I hope you do the rest of the season - you rock. But I'm surprised you didn't mention the booger snot hanging from Derek's nose when he had the gun to his head. Eeeww! I had to cover my eyes during that part! Too much realism in 24 this time.

Also, glad to see the return of one of the most consistent characters in the first episode - Tony's Cubs mug!

AGAIN!! The Preview for next week's episode told us EXACTLY what's in those metal cannisters. Thanks again for the 28 seconds of suspense, Fox...

Yes, pbjunkie, I too saw the snot-bubble. Kudos to the actor...not many can blow one of those on-cue.

And wouldn't you think that the CTU cell phones that can take hi-res pictures, detonate bombs and make julienne fries come in ringless vibrator mode? When Curtis' phone rang loudly while his team was setting up in the terminal, it caused me to yell at my perfectly innocent TV.

A possible explanation for Diane being at the "210 and 10" - if she was driving down from somewhere north of Lancaster and Palmdale, she would have taken the 5 south to the 210 east. Then, still waiting for word from "Frank" as to where to meet, she could have turned off the 210 to the 57 south, thinking that it would be best to turn back west into LA when she got to the 10. It takes just a few minutes to get from the 210 to the 10 using the 57. If she had been on the 57 when she got the call, she was close enough to either freeway to call it an intersection. And from the 57 and the 10, she is only 15 minutes from the Ontario Airport. I'm willing to accept this scenario but cannot figure out where Wayne's condo would be that Jack could get to Ontario so quickly - Pasadena is the only possibility.

Am I crazy, but is the TV room villian Geraint Wyn Davies, formerly of the 'Forever Knight' tv series? For those of you that are young and/or have lives, 'Forever Knight' was a fabulously cheesy Canadian show about a cop who was also a vampire. When they first showed him I thought 'wow, Jack's fighting terrorist vampires this season.'

God nothing made me laugh harder in ages than the picture of that cat.

Genius :)

I'm a little depressed that Anton killed himself before Jack got to torture him. 4 hours of 24 has gone by, and not one torture scene. 24 just isnt the same without the torture heh.

That's him, brilliantmistake. I guess being a vampire is why he is sitting in the dark all the time.

I am still cracking up at that cat picture.

Bauer's Sweetheart-I applaud you for desperately trying to make sense of that 10/210 intersection comment. If she was coming from Lancaster, though, she would be on the 14 south. Now Wayne's apartment could be in Pasadena; I actually saw Dennis Haysbert once at the Best Buy in Pasadena.

Thanks Victoria, and I apologize for the error about the 14. I had it in my mind that the 14 hits the 5 farther to the north, not right where the 210 begins. I've never braved the wilds of the 14. Now, let's figure out where the "Hidden Valley" Presidential Retreat is. According to one of the characters, it is 15 minutes from the Ontario Airport. Using "24" travel time estimates, I am guessing it's in Palm Springs/Rancho Mirage?

Didn't someone either say (or text on screen read) that Wayne's apartment was in Inglewood? I sort of recall laughing at the inherent humor in that.

Also, perhaps people are not hearing the interchange lines correctly. The 110 may have actually been what was said (or at least scripted), and that does meet up with the 210 at Pasadena. A director would probably not bother to make the correction on set.

There's a "Hidden Valley Ranch" off the 15 south in Corona. I can't imagine that could be the same one, though. It's been a few years, but last time I drove by there, there were nothing but cows, and boy could you smell it, too.