Payback's A Bitch - 
by J-Unit
So it has come down to this. The final episode of 24. It has been such a great season that the producers were really going to have to do something crazy in order to wrap this thing up. I don't know, but I guess they can start with Jack stopping a crazy terrorist from unloading a dozen cruise missiles onto the west coast and finish it with perhaps Jack finally bringing President Logan to justice? I think it can be done. That may seem like a lot to do, but we have not one, but TWO WHOLE hours of Bauer. And you just knew that there was going to be a crazy twist at the end. Was all of that time worth it? I sure as hell think so. Join me as we say farewell to the Aviator Glasses of Badness, the Hoodie of Inflitration, the Messenger Bag of Death, and another gnarly season of 24.
OK, so I just used gnarly in a sentence. Forgive me; I just though pop culture terms form 1989 would really sum up how I felt about this episode. As we all know from last week, Bierko just commandeered a submarine using a backup canister of the VX gas that he's been messing around with all day. Why the submarine? Submarines have missile, and while there were no nukes onboard, each missile was capable of leveling several city blocks, and with a range of several hundred miles, there weren't going to be many places on the West Coast that would be safe. Like any crazy terrorist, Bierko was running down his list of high value targets (HVTs) including financial centers, transportation hubs, high population density areas, and Famima! OK, that last one is only high value to me, but when it's 2AM and you need a vitamin water and sushi fix, you need to set your priorities.
Since everybody on the submarine was either dead or a terrorist, nobody had any qualms about just blowing that submarine out of the water. Audrey Raines got on the phone with our buddy Admiral "Sugar Ray" Kirkland and let him know that the submarine had been seized. Kirkland knew nothing about this, perhaps because George Costanza was working on that special project downtown, but said he could get his F18s scrambled in 22-25 minutes. Unfortunately, that would not be enough time to stop Bierko, as Chloe said he would be ready to launch in less than twenty minutes. Hmm, perhaps if Kirkland took his jets sunny side up instead of scrambled, he could save some time? Also, it was great to see Audrey use that high-end Cisco Systems technology to make a phone call, maybe next time they'll make something that can COPY A TAPE RECORDING so we don't have to go through all of this again.
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