Torture For Everyone! Yay! - 
by B-Side
Tonight's episode of 24 was marvelous simply because in the middle of any given tense situation, loopy Maya would pop up like a psychotic prairie dog and completely sideline the show in such a bizarre, campy fashion you had to enjoy it. I guess her character was sort of like an ode to the perennially tangental Kim, but unlike that imperiled daughter, every time we cut to Maya, we somehow knew she was this much closer to biting it. We never had that luxury with Kim. The best we got was an occasional amputation from one of her boyfriends, and while we appreciate that, it's not the same as Kim dying. Thankfully, Kim is gone now, but how much longer will Maya being lurking around for? I'll give you a hint — broken mirror shards are NOT conducive to a long, healthy life.
Before we get to the saga of Maya — which honestly was a very small portion of last night's episode — we have to deal with some housekeeping, i.e. Paul Raines. When last we left our lovable Brit, Jack had knocked him out in his hotel room. It was sort of like Jack's torture foreplay. For those who may have forgotten, Paul's name was on the lease of a house involved with the day's terrorist activities. And so we opened up this latest episode with the promise of torture. Mmmm... I was a little afraid that we hadn't seen enough graphic interrogation this season. After Sarah's taser to the neck bit, I thought for sure our torture days were behind us. Silly me. This is 24. MORE TORTURE PLEASE.
After tying Paul to a chair, Jack turned to Audrey and asked her to leave the room. In true 24 Love Interest fashion, Audrey refused, wishing to stand by Jack's side like a good little girl. Yes, Audrey likey the torture and watched as Jack transformed the power cord of a lamp into a makeshift defribilliator. Paul, ever the charming Anglo-Saxon, rebuffed Jack's interrogation, sneering "I've got nothing to say to you!" He then shrugged and added, "Well, I will say that Oasis rocks."
Of course Jack did not appreciate this attitude and brought the electrical wires ever closer to Paul's chest. "You're bluffing!" cried out the captive Brit. Um, Paul, clearly you haven't seen the first three seasons of this show. Jack will torture anyone. He even tortures the local librarian when he wants to find a book. Sure enough, Jack zapped him a few times until finally Paul revealed he had a lease on his laptop. The scene became immediately awkward though when Jack turned on the computer and found fake nude pics of Camilla Parker Bowles. "My good friend John Cleese must have left those there!" said Paul nervously. Okay, I'll stop now.
Elsewhere, big bad terrorist Habib, aka High Priest Imhotep from The Mummy, popped up in an office building to have fun with his nuclear reactor override. Quietly blending in with a floor of corporate bumble bees, Habib got to work in a random cubicle. Poor choice. Moments later a middle manager had him faxing documents and printing interoffice memos. Can't you see he's trying to be a terrorist?
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