Well, here we are. A mostly unsatisfying end to a mostly shitty season. What else can you say? The Lost finale schooled you, 24. It schooled you good.
That's not to say there was a shortage of hijinks. But the hijinkry just wasn't as, oh I don't know, as groin-grabbingly amazing as it has been in seasons past. God, remember Nina? Still, for my money, the best television twist ever. I'm still vomiting in angst and disgust over that one.
Sigh. Fine, back to Grandpa. He's at it again. (By the by, this week's intro went a little something like this: "The following takes place between 4 am...pause...pause...go grab a sandwich or something folks...pause...pause...and 5 am.") So Josh and Mike "I eat Play-Dough" Doyle are in a helicopter. It's awkward. I keep waiting for Mike to turn around, all fatherly like, and say something like "You know, Josh, I hear China's pretty cool!" But instead Ricky Schroeder puts on his Acting Face, and tells Josh what's going on - that they're going to pretend to transfer him over in order to get the component. He shoots a tracking device into Josh's arm (goodbye Josh's arm) and promises him that they'll get him back (goodbye Josh).
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my bitchin' tunes."
Jack tries to argue with the other agents but they tell him he's going back to CTU to be placed into temporary holding. Ha. Does Jack experience any other kind? A whiny agent puts him in a car, where Jack gives Chloe a jingle. She explains the situation with Grandpa and Josh to him, and after a used-one-too-many-times bark of "Dammit Chloe, we have to stop this," he asks to be put through to Karen.
Over in the Oval Office, Daniels is on the phone with Suvarov, apologizing for that whole lying-to-your-face thing. He also tells him about Grandpa, and how they might have a chance to destroy the component after all. Suvarov, being one of those "fool me once" head of states, says that his forces won't call off the strike until he knows for sure that the component has been destroyed. Karen gets a call in the middle of this Meeting of Intrigue, so she takes it out in the hallway. It's Jack, and he informs her that whatever they're planning, Grandpa already has a better plan, and he's going to keep both the circuit board and Josh. He pleads with her to come up with a way to stop this, then hangs up as Agent Goofus gets back into the car and whisks them both back to CTU.
Tom catches up with Karen in the hallway, and she tells him what Jack told her. When he asks if she thinks Jack's concerns are warranted, she chirps, "Absolutely!" Congratulations, Karen, by trusting Jack you are now more intelligent than 95% of the other people on this show. You win. Karen hatches a plan, and although Tom won't be able to join in the shenanigans this time, he promises to look the other way while she's Scheming.
"Karen, do I detect a Scheming Face?"
"Can you BELIEVE this woman, audience?"
Bill, meanwhile, is currently suffering the indignity of having random CTU interns paw through his Precious Memories photo albums at his house. He tries to protest, saying that that stuff is personal, but they continue anyway. Come on! There are some quality honeymoon pictures in there - Bill and Karen at the beach, Bill and Karen having drinks on the veranda, Bill and Karen opening up a class-3 socket with Level 5 clearance! SEXY! Karen calls twice and he ignores her, but finally picks up. She explains the situation and tells him to do whatever it takes to help Jack. Huh. Well, bye Bill.
Mike and Josh copter onto a beach and set up shop at a table on the beach. How romantic. Grandpa calls and tells Mike to tell CTU to turn off their satellites, since he has an uplink and he knows when they're watching. A-HA! Mole! Mole mole mole! Excellent. I look forward to later in the episode when the mole is revealed. Morris confirms that Grandpa is watching, so they all go offline while Grandpa opens up a can of mashed peas. His next demand is that the copter leave, which it does. Mike asks how the exchange is going to work, though it seems rather obvious to me. Just shove Josh into the ocean, and Grandpa will catch him in China.
"Fancy a picnic, Josh? Hand me that slaw."
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Comments (4)
This was the most painfully-bad 2 hours of television this year. I totally agree with your list of problems with the finale (and the season). Fortunately, your recap was hilarious. Contemplation by Mike Doyle. HA!
So glad this season is over since it totally blew. Tom Lennox was absolutely the only enjoyable thing about it. Thank god for him. I’m going to pretend this season never happened. I haven’t decided if I’ll be back next year.
1 of 4 | Posted by pbjunkie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 29, 2007 9:20 AM
I've been reading your recaps for a while now and literally always find myself laughing loudly whenever I do... Well done!
Have to say though I think the best scene in the finale was when Suvarov and his generals agree that the oil platform had been sufficiently destroyed... The generals all looked around at each other and shrugged like "ehn, looked convincing enough." Worst bit of acting to cap off a pretty disappointing season.
Looking forward to recaps of FNL Season 2!
2 of 4 | Posted by ibanker![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 29, 2007 12:37 PM
Great recap, so much better than the actual show!! I too, agree with your list of problems in the finale! Surely I thought we'd discover that Jack is Josh's father??! And the fact that Chloe and Morris are procreating makes me gag. The whole season was kinda surreal...
Screampillar, I am so looking forward to next season of FNL and your recaps!! That would have been so lame if they cancelled that show...
3 of 4 | Posted by Jojobear![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 29, 2007 2:06 PM
Agreed that Tom Lennox was the second best thing this season (don't let Jack hear you say anything is better then him). Still, as annoyingly boyish as Doyle was, his respect, awe, and fear of Jack made his character worthwhile. The little whiney "damnit" when he found out Jack was coming to get his - I mean - the boy, just showed how afraid he was of going head to head with Jack.
That moment was second only the "Damn Jack" after he single handedly took out Al-Qaeda with a handgun and a chain.
Oh, and once more for old times sake: BEERROOOOOZZZ!!!
4 of 4 | Posted by MODULUS![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 31, 2007 12:22 PM