But Grandpa decides to make this difficult, and says that someone will come for him. He wants to speak to Josh on the phone, so Mike gives his cell to Josh and tells him not to resist him, to just go along with it so he'll think everything is going smoothly. Josh takes the phone and immediately screams "I hate you!" Right. Perhaps not a true Bauer after all. Mike rolls his eyes. "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed," he fails to say. Grandpa yammers on anyway, saying the exact same thing he said last episode, about how China is a wonderful land of happiness and lollipops and leprechauns. Looks like the dementia is setting in. Back to the nursing home with you!
Contemplation: From the Mike Doyle Collection
After the commercial, Mike tells Nadia that if he sees a chance to get Josh back, he's going to take it. She tells him no. That love sure is blooming. Karen calls up Nadia and says that she needs the satellite tracking clearance to oversee Jack's transfer back to CTU. Nadia doesn't want to, but then does. Damn. Worst CTU director ever. But there's no time for pointing fingers, because Marilyn is currently having a Class 5 Freakout. She wants to see her son, NOW! Nadia makes up some cockamamie story about Division questioning him, but Marilyn decides to yell and flail some more, as if this will help. Nadia calls for additional security to escort Marilyn to holding. Finally, a sound decision! Then Chloe and Morris squabble some more. Fascinating.
Jack and a couple wimpy agents are en route to CTU, when they are run off the road by a Mysterious Stranger. Jack easily steals the gun from the agent in the car, while the other one gets out and starts yelling at Bill. Wimpy Agent tries to be threatening, then proceeds to fail miserably. Jack knocks out the guy in the car, then sneaks up behind Wimpy Agent and does the same. Then they're off to the Billmobile, where Bill says that he hopes Jack is right about his father. "Unfortunately...I am," says Jack. I gag and begin plotting the death of yet another writer.
A rather good-looking man enters CTU, and Chloe goes over to hug him. I have a brief thought that she does not know this man, that she has just abandoned all laws of normal human interactions and decided to sidle up to any attractive guy she sees, and how much more fun the world might be if this became the case. Nadia asks Morris to find out who it is. Shouldn't you already know this information, CTU DIRECTOR?! Did you let the security team go home early?! Chloe identifies the handsome stranger as Stuart, Milo's brother. I call shenanigans. There is no way this hot guy came from the same family as Pubic Facial Hair Milo. It's just not possible. Chloe leads him off to do some paperwork, and I wonder what role he will play in the rest of this day. Surely he must have some contribution to the plot, right? Right?!
Colin Farrell's brother, perhaps. Milo's brother? HELL NO.
Karen, who has been following Jack and Bill's progress, loses the satellite connection. She calls up Bill to tell him that someone has caught on and that they're probably coming to arrest her. Since it might be the last time they can speak, she tells her dear hubby that she's so sorry, and that she loves him very much. Aaand then the Secret Service shows up. How many marriages must they ruin?
Stuart would like to know how his brother died. Nadia confesses that he sacrificed himself to save her life, to which Stuart replies that Milo was really in love with her. Haha. The Guilt Train has pulled into the CTU station! All aboard! Nadia gets a page and Stuart glares at her as she leaves. Oh, he is SO a mole or something devious. Chloe tells Nadia that Bill helped Jack escape. Nadia barks a couple more orders, then returns to the locker room to find that Stuart has...disappeared. Sweet! I can't wait to find out where he is and what he's up to! I hope it's something nefarious!
Nadia calls up Mike to tell him that Jack has escaped and that he's probably on his way over to stop the exchange. Mike utters a very wimpy "Dammit!" Oh, my dear Mikey. Don't. Even. Try.
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Comments (4)
This was the most painfully-bad 2 hours of television this year. I totally agree with your list of problems with the finale (and the season). Fortunately, your recap was hilarious. Contemplation by Mike Doyle. HA!
So glad this season is over since it totally blew. Tom Lennox was absolutely the only enjoyable thing about it. Thank god for him. I’m going to pretend this season never happened. I haven’t decided if I’ll be back next year.
1 of 4 | Posted by pbjunkie
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Posted on May 29, 2007 9:20 AM
I've been reading your recaps for a while now and literally always find myself laughing loudly whenever I do... Well done!
Have to say though I think the best scene in the finale was when Suvarov and his generals agree that the oil platform had been sufficiently destroyed... The generals all looked around at each other and shrugged like "ehn, looked convincing enough." Worst bit of acting to cap off a pretty disappointing season.
Looking forward to recaps of FNL Season 2!
2 of 4 | Posted by ibanker
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Posted on May 29, 2007 12:37 PM
Great recap, so much better than the actual show!! I too, agree with your list of problems in the finale! Surely I thought we'd discover that Jack is Josh's father??! And the fact that Chloe and Morris are procreating makes me gag. The whole season was kinda surreal...
Screampillar, I am so looking forward to next season of FNL and your recaps!! That would have been so lame if they cancelled that show...
3 of 4 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on May 29, 2007 2:06 PM
Agreed that Tom Lennox was the second best thing this season (don't let Jack hear you say anything is better then him). Still, as annoyingly boyish as Doyle was, his respect, awe, and fear of Jack made his character worthwhile. The little whiney "damnit" when he found out Jack was coming to get his - I mean - the boy, just showed how afraid he was of going head to head with Jack.
That moment was second only the "Damn Jack" after he single handedly took out Al-Qaeda with a handgun and a chain.
Oh, and once more for old times sake: BEERROOOOOZZZ!!!
4 of 4 | Posted by MODULUS
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Posted on May 31, 2007 12:22 PM