Later, Ethan approaches Annie at her locker and asks her not to say anything because he's "not that guy." Not which guy, E? Not the guy who gets blow jobs in the parking lot before school? Oh, or not the guy who cheats on his girlfriend? We'll never know the answer, because Naomi comes over and ruins everyone's fun guessing game.
Out in the parking lot, a token long-haired skater boy walks over to Bangs and tells her he accidentally grabbed her book. After they exchange she opens it up to reveal a cut-out compartment filled with fun-colored pills. Ladies and gentlemen, our very first drug addiction of the season! That didn't take long. What I'd like to know is, what exactly is she taking? Because I'm pretty sure the long red ones are suppositories.
You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Apparently Bangs is having some money trouble, because skater boy tells her she owes him $200 and wants it by tomorrow. True, the drug trade may be a perilous undertaking, but I just don't think I would feel threatened by a 5'8" skinny boy with shoulder length golden curls.
Annie is desperately trying to not look lonely as she eats fries solo on the steps when a foot steps on her notebook and asks where she got the sticker on it.
Some banter is exchanged regarding the band whose sticker is displayed on Annie's notebook and we are introduced to Silver. Erin Silver, as in Kelly and David's half sister. Now, I'm not a Punk-ologist, but judging by her black and white outfit of striped knee socks, a miniskirt, and tank top covered by vest and topped off with multicolored necklaces of plastic shapes, I'm guessing she's the edgy one. Toss in the fact that she takes Annie's fries out of her hands and sits down uninvited, Bad Ass Alert!
Note to Annie. Please never make this face again. EVER.
Annie and Silver are starting to chat when Naomi comes over and tells Naomi that she needs her pronto. Silver says something snappy to Naomi as they leave while Kelly comes by and steals a fry over her shoulder, giving a quick "hey sis!" OHHHH, so the last name Silver wasn't just a coincidence? Thanks for clearing that up while simultaneously shoving the old cast down my throat, CW.
As Naomi and Annie walk away Naomi tells her that Silver has some creepy blog where she posts weird videos about people and to stay away from her. I guess what I need to know before I can pass judgement is, what kind of videos? Are we talking snuff films or Henry Lizardlover style artistry?
Because this I'd be totally cool with.
Anyway, Naomi tells Annie that Ethan talked all about how cool she was, so Naomi decided to extend an invitation to her sweet 16 that Friday. Score! But, they'll have to go shopping to get the farm girl something to wear, natch. I mean, there's no way a girl from Kansas owns a dress befitting of a Beverly Hills Sweet 16. Hell, I don't even own a dress suitable for one of those.
In the principal's office, Naomi's parents are fighting for her right to party. Without having to do the paper, of course. Mr. Matthews is in there as well and remarks on what a spoiled brat Naomi is. Okay, I get it, Beverly Hills people are rich and their children privileged, but no way would I let one of my children's teachers talk to me like that. I would wag my pointer finger in his face so many times he wouldn't know what hit him. I'd probably even raise one eyebrow and purse my lips.
The conversation ends with Naomi's mother saying something along the lines of this could have been our kid we're fighting over before leaving. Yow, that's gotta sting. I take it an ex-girlfriend?
Tea Leoni! What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home making sure David isn't banging half of LA?
We are treated now to yet another installment of: it's not a whole new show, just updated with new youngsters! Promise! This time with the introduction of the new and improved Peach Pit! Don't worry though, Nat is still working there (sad) and desperately trying to figure out how to use those newfangled cappuccino machines that have been around for too long for it to be funny.
Dude. Sell a screenplay, or learn to dress sets. SOMETHING. You're depressing me.
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Comments (13)
I'm so glad that you saw that Naomi looks like Elizabeth Berkley! For me she's a cross between Peyton from One Tree Hill and I was thinking Jesse Spano but now that you mention it, Nomi Malone works a lot better.
Am I the only one that thought it was weird that Annie had matches from the restaurant in San Francisco? First, why would she even keep the matches? Second, what restaurants give out matches these days anyway?
1 of 13 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on September 6, 2008 6:49 PM
annie, naomi, and silver were ALL scary skinny. i just wanted to give them some sandwiches
2 of 13 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on September 7, 2008 7:18 AM
ugh how annoying and goody goody is Annie- not digging her character at all. Or her as an actress.
3 of 13 | Posted by brittemik | Posted on September 7, 2008 3:02 PM
Oh, Pach how I love you! I'm loooong time reader/first time poster and have enjoyed your other recaps, but your reference to Buster's Charlie Browns finally moved me to create an account.
There are very few people that I come across who can spot veiled references to my all time fave, Arrested Development. When I run into another fan, I am usually so moved by their ability to match my obsessive quoting that I can't contain myself and the interaction inevitably ends awkwardly with my attempt at laying a big ol' kiss right on their mouth.
So, in order to save us both the embarassment - I will just extend my hand and give you a secret made up handshake (and a special Lucielle eye wink- "please don't ever make that face again"), offer you a frozen bananna (with nuts, if you like), insist that you work Buster's charlie browns/linus into every recap, and then ask you to be my best friend forever!!
Please consider at least one of the last two on the list :)
P.S. I am totally loving 90210 so far, well as much as you can enjoy watching unfortunate, malnourished refugee campers parade around in expensive clothes. I was glad to see that Kelly apparently kept some of that baby weight though! Also, WTF was up with Brenda's teeth?!?! Were those dentures or something? Or am I just not remembering S.D.'s massive ass gapped teeth? Watch that part at the Pit when she and Kelly first meet... it looks like she forgot to use poly grip and those suckers are pop right out any second!
Keep up the great work Pach! Can't wait to read the next one :)
4 of 13 | Posted by No touching!! | Posted on September 7, 2008 8:37 PM
Writer session #1:
Ok, so Brenda and Brandon were twins...what is the opposite of twins?
An adopted black brother and goofy white girl sister.
Totally original!
5 of 13 | Posted by amberpdidit | Posted on September 7, 2008 10:08 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
Just a side note...I really did not like the Andrea Zuckerman character on 90210, in high school she was ok, but then it got worse. However...when Hannah was on TV this episode - I think it was either the teacher or someone else in the class - said something to the effect of "she looks 30"...that right there made me laugh out loud.
6 of 13 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on September 8, 2008 11:23 AM
i know people had their criticisms of the premiere, but i enjoyed it. it held my interest for both hours. and i loved the homage they paid to the original series. i was a sucked for it.
however, that drug addict girl (i don't even care enough about her to remember her name) is the WORST storyline in the history of television. okay that's probably hyperbole, but they need to do something with that asap.
other than that, DYING to see jason priestley get on this show so we can find out how brandon and kelly conceived this kid. and NEED luke perry. NEED.
7 of 13 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on September 8, 2008 1:31 PM
Excellent recap! I absolutely loved the Arrested Development references; made my day.
I was kind of annoyed that Shenae Grimes was set to play Annie. Her character on Degrassi, Darcy, was also a goody goody and seriously annoyed me, so that was a huge downside.
I freaked right out when Jessica Walters showed up, and then Shannen Doherty. I mean, I knew she was coming on the show (thanks, Perez!) I just didn't realize it would be so soon. Just to add on to the AD refs, does anyone else think Naomi looks a teensy bit like Charlize Theron? Anybody?
I only have one criticism; I am sick of hearing negative things about girls' bodies. You're fat if you're above a size 4, and a skeletor if you're below. It's getting pathetic and a little annoying to see in a recap so enjoyable to read.
All in all, great job and I'll look forward to your next.
8 of 13 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:28 PM
I found the premiere somewhat boring and struggled to pay attention a lot of the time... so far I like Naomi, and Dixon's all right, but I'm not feeling Annie or Ethan yet. And sign me up for the WTF club with the emo pill-popper. I'll give it another episode or two, mostly for the original alums, and I hope it improves!
However, the recap was great and welcome back, Pach!!!
9 of 13 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on September 8, 2008 4:57 PM
Naomi was an awful actress. But I will still watch!
10 of 13 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on September 9, 2008 10:11 AM
Awesome Recap especially for a two hour long show! The girl playing Annie needs to go. Maybe pull a Roseanne/Becky Conner move.
Was anyone else confused on why the Peach Pitt...oh sorry excuse me..."The Pitt" is tripling as a coffee shop, club and a restaurant. I live over on the East coast is there only one restaurant/club/coffee house in LA?
11 of 13 | Posted by Baxter | Posted on September 9, 2008 10:24 AM
Er, Chickadee, lots of places give out matches, especially high end restaurants. And I don't smoke but I always take matches from nice restaurants - sort of as a souvenir I guess. I wouldn't call it odd.
12 of 13 | Posted by Spring | Posted on September 17, 2008 9:12 PM
Yeah, so I'm watching this episode now on the CW's website. Just so you know, it's being sponsored buy O.B. tampons. If only O.B. could absorb my pain right now . . .
13 of 13 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 20, 2008 11:44 AM