Naomi and Annie are enjoying lunch at the Pit and talking about boys and shopping. Naomi wishes Annie had let her buy her that $800 dress they saw. Wait... Naomi wanted to buy an $800 dress for Annie and she said no? Come on Kansas, I'd give multiple limbs for a friend like that!
Sadly, their fun times are interrupted when Naomi gets a text saying that she still has to write the paper for Mr. Matthews. I'm thinking a lap dance or strip tease is in order to get out of this pickle! No? Just me? Ah well. Anyway, Naomi flips out and says the thought of staring at a blank piece of paper all night is just maddening. Paper? Is that how your parents afford all these luxuries, by not springing for technology in the house? Strange.
Annie caves and tells her she can help because she got an A on the same paper. She says she'll send Naomi the paper and she can just take some ideas from it. I smell plagiarism!
At the most intense lacrosse practice EVER, Dixon gets a chance to prove to himself that he's good at something. Mr. Matthews is coaching and puts him in to see what he's got. Needless to say he shows up everyone else and scores several times. Even Matthews mentions that the principals kid's got some game. My only problem with this entire scene is that for some reason everyone failed to notice that he didn't cradle ONCE.
Watch out Dix, being good at sports is bound to bite you in the ass. Case in point: uggo George, the team captain, no likey new kids. As the team is trotting off the field George checks Dix from behind. Now, no one likes a cheap shot more than me, especially if it involves glass bottles or crotches, but just let the new kid be good at something. He's adopted; he'll never make any friends otherwise!
I love you too. I wish we weren't wearing these gd helmets.
At dinner that night, Lucille tells Dix that maybe if he had grabbed the guy's jewels with a twist, he would have won. See? It's like we're one person, that Lucille and I. I guess he got kicked off or suspended from the team, but the principal says he'll take care of it. I bet the principal wouldn't be too willing to help out the adoptee if he saw what kind of moves he was putting on his daughter.
That's right, I went there. Next we are treated to a scene with Dixon and Annie laying on a bed talking about blow jobs. To be fair, they're talking specifically about Ethan's, but that doesn't make it any less weird. Seriously, the CW's gunning for a make out. I'm more sure of this than I was of my untrained ability to cut my own hair in 7th grade. Which ultimately led to disaster, but since then I've fine-tuned my instincts.
Lower.
Across town at The Pit, Naomi, Bangs and Ethan are out for some drinks. Juicey-Juice, I'm sure, unless they've all been left back about 5 times, which I wouldn't put past any of them. Except for Bangs maybe, she's gonna be a STAH!
Anywho, Ethan offers to buy the first round but Naomi turns him down, saying it's on her while flashing a whopping eighty dollars. Huh? Eighty dollars will barely get you one round of drinks and a lap dance; it surely won't support three binge drinkers all night. Trust me, I know a thing or two about high-school drinkers. From... stories I've heard.
Adriana eyes the cash like my dogs eye kittens and its clear she's going to steal it, especially after she gets a well-timed text message asking if she's got the money yet. At the bar, Naomi bumps into Mr. Matthews - is this the only hangout in all of Beverly Hills? - and they do their song and dance about the paper and him being mean to her. In the end he tells the bartender not to serve her. This can't be that big a blow though, because every teenager knows the old fill-a-flask-with-your-parents'-liquor-and-refill-their-bottle-with-water game.
Back in boring-town, Principal Dad opens the door to find Naomi's mother on his porch with a bottle of wine. Surprise!
I thought I specified Asian...
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Comments (13)
I'm so glad that you saw that Naomi looks like Elizabeth Berkley! For me she's a cross between Peyton from One Tree Hill and I was thinking Jesse Spano but now that you mention it, Nomi Malone works a lot better.
Am I the only one that thought it was weird that Annie had matches from the restaurant in San Francisco? First, why would she even keep the matches? Second, what restaurants give out matches these days anyway?
1 of 13 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on September 6, 2008 6:49 PM
annie, naomi, and silver were ALL scary skinny. i just wanted to give them some sandwiches
2 of 13 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on September 7, 2008 7:18 AM
ugh how annoying and goody goody is Annie- not digging her character at all. Or her as an actress.
3 of 13 | Posted by brittemik | Posted on September 7, 2008 3:02 PM
Oh, Pach how I love you! I'm loooong time reader/first time poster and have enjoyed your other recaps, but your reference to Buster's Charlie Browns finally moved me to create an account.
There are very few people that I come across who can spot veiled references to my all time fave, Arrested Development. When I run into another fan, I am usually so moved by their ability to match my obsessive quoting that I can't contain myself and the interaction inevitably ends awkwardly with my attempt at laying a big ol' kiss right on their mouth.
So, in order to save us both the embarassment - I will just extend my hand and give you a secret made up handshake (and a special Lucielle eye wink- "please don't ever make that face again"), offer you a frozen bananna (with nuts, if you like), insist that you work Buster's charlie browns/linus into every recap, and then ask you to be my best friend forever!!
Please consider at least one of the last two on the list :)
P.S. I am totally loving 90210 so far, well as much as you can enjoy watching unfortunate, malnourished refugee campers parade around in expensive clothes. I was glad to see that Kelly apparently kept some of that baby weight though! Also, WTF was up with Brenda's teeth?!?! Were those dentures or something? Or am I just not remembering S.D.'s massive ass gapped teeth? Watch that part at the Pit when she and Kelly first meet... it looks like she forgot to use poly grip and those suckers are pop right out any second!
Keep up the great work Pach! Can't wait to read the next one :)
4 of 13 | Posted by No touching!! | Posted on September 7, 2008 8:37 PM
Writer session #1:
Ok, so Brenda and Brandon were twins...what is the opposite of twins?
An adopted black brother and goofy white girl sister.
Totally original!
5 of 13 | Posted by amberpdidit | Posted on September 7, 2008 10:08 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
Just a side note...I really did not like the Andrea Zuckerman character on 90210, in high school she was ok, but then it got worse. However...when Hannah was on TV this episode - I think it was either the teacher or someone else in the class - said something to the effect of "she looks 30"...that right there made me laugh out loud.
6 of 13 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on September 8, 2008 11:23 AM
i know people had their criticisms of the premiere, but i enjoyed it. it held my interest for both hours. and i loved the homage they paid to the original series. i was a sucked for it.
however, that drug addict girl (i don't even care enough about her to remember her name) is the WORST storyline in the history of television. okay that's probably hyperbole, but they need to do something with that asap.
other than that, DYING to see jason priestley get on this show so we can find out how brandon and kelly conceived this kid. and NEED luke perry. NEED.
7 of 13 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on September 8, 2008 1:31 PM
Excellent recap! I absolutely loved the Arrested Development references; made my day.
I was kind of annoyed that Shenae Grimes was set to play Annie. Her character on Degrassi, Darcy, was also a goody goody and seriously annoyed me, so that was a huge downside.
I freaked right out when Jessica Walters showed up, and then Shannen Doherty. I mean, I knew she was coming on the show (thanks, Perez!) I just didn't realize it would be so soon. Just to add on to the AD refs, does anyone else think Naomi looks a teensy bit like Charlize Theron? Anybody?
I only have one criticism; I am sick of hearing negative things about girls' bodies. You're fat if you're above a size 4, and a skeletor if you're below. It's getting pathetic and a little annoying to see in a recap so enjoyable to read.
All in all, great job and I'll look forward to your next.
8 of 13 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:28 PM
I found the premiere somewhat boring and struggled to pay attention a lot of the time... so far I like Naomi, and Dixon's all right, but I'm not feeling Annie or Ethan yet. And sign me up for the WTF club with the emo pill-popper. I'll give it another episode or two, mostly for the original alums, and I hope it improves!
However, the recap was great and welcome back, Pach!!!
9 of 13 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on September 8, 2008 4:57 PM
Naomi was an awful actress. But I will still watch!
10 of 13 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on September 9, 2008 10:11 AM
Awesome Recap especially for a two hour long show! The girl playing Annie needs to go. Maybe pull a Roseanne/Becky Conner move.
Was anyone else confused on why the Peach Pitt...oh sorry excuse me..."The Pitt" is tripling as a coffee shop, club and a restaurant. I live over on the East coast is there only one restaurant/club/coffee house in LA?
11 of 13 | Posted by Baxter | Posted on September 9, 2008 10:24 AM
Er, Chickadee, lots of places give out matches, especially high end restaurants. And I don't smoke but I always take matches from nice restaurants - sort of as a souvenir I guess. I wouldn't call it odd.
12 of 13 | Posted by Spring | Posted on September 17, 2008 9:12 PM
Yeah, so I'm watching this episode now on the CW's website. Just so you know, it's being sponsored buy O.B. tampons. If only O.B. could absorb my pain right now . . .
13 of 13 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on September 20, 2008 11:44 AM