We start with the remaining 20-year-olds moving into the 40-year-olds' suite. Crazy Mary says she's not happy about it because "I do not trust these women, and I don't want to trust these women." Hey, that's not The Secret! The 40-year-olds do not greet the 20-year-olds at the door, which puts the younger women ill at ease. Game On Maria yells from the bedroom, "YAY! They brought their hula hoops!" Game on, indeed, Maria. Hilarious. That made Crazy Mary mad, and when Crazy Mary gets mad, she wants to cry. So she does. In a real ugly way. Ridiculous. She looks the camera dead in lens and tells us tearily, "We're not as stupid as we look!"

What a stupid thing to say, Stupid.

The Poo says that Game On Maria gave him a wake up call when she said she needed him to be more present. He feels he's matured a lot since he's been there and that he's attracted to all the women. Ah, yes, the inability to discern one woman from another is a great sign of maturity!

This morning, all of the women are going to compete in a triathlon. The first leg is biking, the second is running, and the third is paddling on a surfboard out to a yacht where The Poo is waiting. The first three to complete the race get to spend time with The Poo on the boat. I find this humiliating. This particular group of women don't, though, so they put on their sports bras and start pedaling. But first, Smiling Amanda says she's nervous because she is "without a doubt, the least athletic." Uh, don't you go to training camp for Hockey Dancing? Shut up, Liar!

They start off in pairs on tandem bikes. JonBenet and Amanda are in first, followed by Jayanna and Jenn. Crazy Mary and Widow's Peak Megan's bike chain locks. Crazy Mary says in her lovely, lovely voice," Weee kidn't jist stand thee-ere, weesting ty-eem," so they start running, still beating Maria and Kelli, who are last. They arrive at the second leg in that order. JonBenet twists her ankle but keeps running. Amanda passes her. The Poo thinks Kelli is going to win, but hopes Jenn is second because he "thinks there's something there." I told you!!

It's hard to tell how long this triathlon is, but it seems significant, because all the ladies are spent. Jenn gets thigh cramps, Kelli is gasping for oxygen, Maria is "dying," and JonBenet gets taken away in an ambulance for a sprained ankle.

Don't cry. They eyelash glue can blind you, and then you'll really be screwed. Can't play tennis with a blind girl.

In the final stretch, Jayanna, then Amanda and Kelli, start paddling on surfboards towards The Poo. He feels bad for them and wants to yell "I'm not worth it! Go back! Go back!" Wow, Poo, accurate self-perception is a sign of maturity! Maybe you were right! Maria, Megan, and Crazy Mary are behind them.

Jayanna makes it to the yacht first. Amanda, who has been saying little insecure/competitive things since The Poo kissed her last ep, comes in second, saying, "I've never done this for anybody...I've never even been able to do this for myself." How f'in humiliating! Once, for a man I loved, I paired all the single socks he kept in a ripped cardboard box, which was kind of humiliating, but he had just moved in and 7 other women weren't competing against me and I didn't sprain my f'in wrist doing it.

Kelli edges in third. The other three women still have to paddle to the yacht in defeat. Crazy Mary feels like she is going to cry. Are you MAD, Mary? "It would be nah-eees to beee on that boat, because it wasn't leek I-ee didn't wanna do it--I-eem cry---I-eem ti-yured when I-ee get ti-yured I-eem so stupid I-ee don't even wanna cry about this because it's not upsetting I-eem just ti-yured." Then she cries. Really, when is this girl going to get a one-on-one with The Poo? She's whimsical, articulate, mature. Speaking of mature, Jenn is disappointed in herself because she couldn't complete the last leg of the triathlon. But she looks like she's in amazing shape. Too bad, crony.

« Recap: Big Brother: Weapons of Mass DestructJen | | Recap: Real World Reunited: You Can Go Back To Not Caring Now »

Posted in Age of Love by Ting Lee at 2:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: ting lee on Jul 16, 2007 06:13 PM.

Comments (10)

Beth :

Great recap Ting Lee! I love Crazy Mary. I hope she lasts a long time too. But, I vote for Jenn.

1 of 10 | Posted by Beth | Posted on July 13, 2007 10:02 PM

Beth :

Great recap Ting Lee! I love Crazy Mary. I hope she lasts a long time too. But, I vote for Jenn.

2 of 10 | Posted by Beth | Posted on July 13, 2007 10:04 PM

doriangz :

First of all Ting Lee that was an AWESOME recap. It is totally funny yet interesting a la old-style TVGasm and I am a fan ! Good good job !

I am torn like I was on the Bachelor with Tessa. I actually genuinely LIKE Jen and thats why I dont think I want her to win. She is HOT and seems smart (I would totally turn straight for her cougary ass) and therefore I kinda dont want her to end up with the douchebag/Poo.

That said, I have to give it to the show it is actually much more frank than the Bachelor. I mean dude has thrown a girl out coz she didnt kiss well and now he doesnt BS another with you are wonderful. It is just you ... me ... no work out ... Bye.
I would officially have worshipped this show if Maria had gone through with leaving last week.

Anyway ...

3 of 10 | Posted by doriangz | Posted on July 13, 2007 11:25 PM

ting lee :

hey doriangz, thanks for the good words! i totally agree with you. if maria had left it would have been wonderful. probably amanda would be perfect for the poo. i mean, they really have conversations about eating pizza and cake.

4 of 10 | Posted by ting lee | Posted on July 14, 2007 7:24 PM

needrealitytv :

Did anyone notice the bulge in Mary's shorts at the beginning of the scene where they were playing tennis? Is she a man in disguise?

5 of 10 | Posted by needrealitytv | Posted on July 15, 2007 6:21 AM

needrealitytv :

Did anyone notice the bulge in Mary's shorts at the beginning of the scene where they were playing tennis? Is she a man in disguise?

6 of 10 | Posted by needrealitytv | Posted on July 15, 2007 6:23 AM

TVCheese :

Ting Lee, I was laughing at your reference to Amanda and Mark acting really gay, as in how gay is known in Upstate NY. I grew up in Upstate so I'm extremely curious how its meaning is different there. Please enlighten me. :)

7 of 10 | Posted by TVCheese | Posted on July 16, 2007 10:32 AM

ting lee :

TVCheese! You grew up in upstate and you don't know "gay"? It's mostly used when something or someone is stupid, awkward, ridiculous, embarrassing, sometimes with a dose of self-importance, without being aware of it. Like when the former assistant manager at one of my restaurant jobs wanted us to come in fifteen minutes earlier than our scheduled time just so he could have some authority (because he made no other managerial decisions), I deemed him "totally gay" and we didn't do it.

Oh, and needrealitytv, I didn't notice the bulge in Crazy Mary's skirt. I will be on the look out this week. Maybe she's on hormone replacecment and that's what is making her so emotional.

8 of 10 | Posted by ting lee | Posted on July 16, 2007 6:09 PM

ting lee :

TVCheese! You grew up in upstate and you don't know "gay"? It's mostly used when something or someone is stupid, awkward, ridiculous, embarrassing, sometimes with a dose of self-importance, without being aware of it. Like when the former assistant manager at one of my restaurant jobs wanted us to come in fifteen minutes earlier than our scheduled time just so he could have some authority (because he made no other managerial decisions), I deemed him "totally gay" and we didn't do it.

Oh, and needrealitytv, I didn't notice the bulge in Crazy Mary's skirt. I will be on the look out this week. Maybe she's on hormone replacecment and that's what is making her so emotional.

9 of 10 | Posted by ting lee | Posted on July 16, 2007 6:11 PM

ting lee :

TVCheese! You grew up in upstate and you don't know "gay"? It's mostly used when something or someone is stupid, awkward, ridiculous, embarrassing, sometimes with a dose of self-importance, without being aware of it. Like when the former assistant manager at one of my restaurant jobs wanted us to come in fifteen minutes earlier than our scheduled time just so he could have some authority (because he made no other managerial decisions), I deemed him "totally gay" and we didn't do it.

Oh, and needrealitytv, I didn't notice the bulge in Crazy Mary's skirt. I will be on the look out this week. Maybe she's on hormone replacecment and that's what is making her so emotional.

10 of 10 | Posted by ting lee | Posted on July 16, 2007 6:13 PM

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