Mary, 24, a dialysis technician, describes herself as "bubbly." Eww. A bubbly dialysis technician. She stumbles over her words as she shakes The Poo's hand. He says "A pleasure to meet you." She says "A measure... a pleasure to meet you, too." She says in an interview clip that when she gets nervous, she stutters. She sits down next to the other girls and whispers, "I did not do a good job." "Yes, you did," coos Amanda. "No," says Mary, as she pulls at her bikini. "You looked great, " Amanda assures her.
Here comes Tessa, 23, surgical sales and JonBenet impersonator. Her breasts look like Asian pears. She says "What I bring to the table is sense of humor. I'm very funny. I have great morals. I have great thoughts. And I need an intellectual challenge." The Poo can't remember anything she says because he was telling himself over and over not to look at the produce. "I think I concentrated harder on that than some tennis matches," The Poo tells the camera. I bet Roger Federer would have been able to remember what she said. Tessa shares one of her great thoughts with the other girls as she sits down: "Hottie!" she whispers.
Megan, 21, is a student. She feels people judge her because of her age. Well, I'm judging you because your hair grows out of the center of your forehead. Get bangs! She says, "Maybe I am super young and super naive, but in my mind, I don't know that." That is not funny, nor a great thought. I foresee a mentor-mentee relationship forming between Tessa and Amanda. Megan and The Poo join the other ladies for a poolside barbecue.
The Poo says "I'm around six beautiful women in their twenties. They're in their bikinis. I think I'm up for the challenge."
After the commercial break, we see The Poo flipping burgers on the grill. "If my mom was here right now, she'd be so proud of me," he tells six girls in bikinis drinking margaritas and vying for his attention. Feeling sentimental, he calls his mom. She's not home, so he text messages Jodie that he didn't burn any of the hotdogs and she should be proud. In a clip, he tells us that he's looking forward to getting to know the girls, seeing if there's anything he likes, if there's anything that sticks out. The editors cut to a languid shot of JonBenet's Asian pears. How do you say this? The top of her bikini top doesn't rest on her skin. There's space. They stick out. I don't know if the top is too small, or the pears are so heavy she has to tie it tight to get tension...I don't know. I'm fixating, but I mean, look at it.
I see serious back problems in your future.
The Poo then asks JonBenet to have a one-on-one. Smiling Amanda mentions that none of them have ever had to share a guy they were interested in. (In my mind, I don't know that, thinks SuperMegan). It makes Amanda anxious and nervous.
JonBenet shares a great thought with The Poo. "I'm a dog lover and I have a little Maltepoo...and her personality is just like mine." The Poo asks the camera, "Her personality is just like her dog's?" He frowns. "Okay." Competitive Lauren doesn't like to share, so she interrupts and invites them into the hot tub. Poo is excited. "I watch a lot of movies and I've watched a bunch of movies where some lucky guy is surrounded by a bunch of girls in a hot tub. And that's finally me." I'm happy for him, but maybe "movies" in Australian is slang for "porn."
Poo is in heaven. "This is finally what I've been waiting for!" He climbs into the hot tub and looks expectantly at the twenty-year-olds in bikinis. They look expectantly back at him. No one says anything. All you hear is lapping water. It's a full twenty seconds of silence. I timed it. Seven strangers... picked to get in a hot tub...and have their lack of confidence taped. The Poo finds himself wondering what the 40-year-olds are doing.
The 40-year-olds must have realized there was no special date, and, making lemons out of lemonade, are having some sort of weird party in their suite. Jayanna is doing a hoedown, and the other ladies are dancing normally. Jennifer is wearing only a towel and has chocolate syrup on her mouth and chin. Jayanna sprays Reddiwip in her mouth. There's a shot of Jennifer from the back and it appears Jayanna is licking her from chest to chin. Everyone's laughing and being free.
the (o)L(d) word
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Comments (10)
Way to go, Ting Lee.
I agree, this show is addicting. Normally I hate dating shows, but the age tension makes this one interesting.
Keep up the good work on the recaps.
I love your nicknames for the ladies...
1 of 10 | Posted by MCH
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Posted on June 29, 2007 8:47 AM
I have to be careful when I'm reading this at work, because It typically makes me laugh out loud. I love Ting Lee's recaps! I don't have time to watch the show, so I watch it vicariously through Ting Lee's eyes...
2 of 10 | Posted by mle428
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Posted on June 29, 2007 11:25 AM
Great ReCap!
Our cable is out (new company) and i have to live through these recaps for the time being..(poor me!)
Anyways, I'm getting hooked on the show and i haven't even watched it YET! (Kudos to you Ting!)
and you know what?...I USED to know Kelly Ripa's Husband's name, until after i read this recap.... For the life of me i CANNOT remember it!..LOL....
Great work, keep it up.
3 of 10 | Posted by twnpeeks
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Posted on June 29, 2007 7:55 PM
Thats funny that you call him (Mark Conswatever) Kelly Ripas husband. If I was doing the recap i would call him Mateo the whole time!
4 of 10 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on June 29, 2007 8:25 PM
The last name of Kelly Rippas husband is Consuelo.
5 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:36 AM
The last name of Kelly Rippas husband is Consuelo.
6 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:38 AM
Typo, should have been Consuelos.
7 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:39 AM
That was a typo, the correct answer is Mark Consuelos.
8 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:41 AM
That was a typo, the correct answer is Mark Consuelos.
9 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:42 AM
"Listen up, Girl. Here's the news: you better zip your stuttering lip and pray your shrink finally gets your bipolar meds right because someday you will have a hot flash and you will cry and shit your drawers and your momma will be too dead to take care of you and your husband will have long since had tender feelings. Really, I've had it with her."
That was priceless!
10 of 10 | Posted by Casey
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Posted on June 30, 2007 12:00 PM