Back at the roller rink, the older women compete in The Limbo and whoever wins gets to hang with The Poo alone until someone else gets sick of it and busts it up. Angela, who I have previously accused of having no personality, wins. She wins in a boring way, so I stand by it. She and The Poo skate around until Jennifer, after making references to high school social scenes, cuts in. Jennifer tells the Poo she feels like she is being selfish. The Poo tells her they can be selfish together. In a voiceover, he says she catches his eye. He cannot believe how old she is (48), and asks her if she stayed in a time capsule. Haha! In a clip, he says she's old enough to be his mother. He shudders, and says he won't think about it. He asks her about herself and she reveals she has a 25-year-old son and is twice divorced. Her first husband was 18 years her senior. The Poo says, "He's 18 years older, I'm 18 years younger!" "Yeah!" says Jennifer. "That's...strange." I have to say, there was something about their interaction that was palpably intimate. I'm gonna call it. I think Jennifer, the oldest of all the women, might be the big winner. Gut feeling.
The Poo sets up a date with the three 20-somethings that made the biggest impression on him: Smiling Amanda, SuperMegan, and Smooth Adelaide. They go to his pad to play some game where they jump on a grid to music coming out the tv. Those young'uns are too hip for Twister! They look like they are having fun, and The Poo thinks SuperMegan is full of life. The uninvited clean their suite and feel sorry for themselves as they try to work out a metaphor. Are they the wicked stepsisters or Cinderella? The Poo toasts the chosen ones with champagne. Smooth Adelaide asks for a minute alone with him. They go into the bedroom. Amanda complains that it was a "disrespectful" move, but, really, we know she's just p.o.'d she got outfoxed. Adelaide tells The Poo that she thinks he's great, and she realizes that she needs to speed things up because these are not normal circumstances. She tells him she's normally shy, but she really likes him. Poo goes for it. Smooth move, Adelaide.
The older women are dressed and ready for Elimination. Post-op Jodie is prepared and packed if she goes home. Boring Angela says she's a great catch because she's got the maturity of an older woman with the looks of a younger woman.
I'll give ya maturity.
The chirrun do shots before Elimination. JonBenet toasts to crow's feet and saggy boobs. "Did I mention stretch marks? Loose skin?" Great thoughts. The girls snicker and swill their liquor. SuperMegan wonders what the other group is talking about. Ma-Ma-Mary wails,"I just went through menopause and I don't know what to do with myself! So I thought I'd find some love! Who's got my estrogen for my hot flashes!" She cackles crazily, her mouth open like a hyaena. Listen up, Girl. Here's the news: you better zip your stuttering lip and pray your shrink finally gets your bipolar meds right because someday you will have a hot flash and you will cry and shit your drawers and your momma will be too dead to take care of you and your husband will have long since had tender feelings. Really, I've had it with her.
The Poo paces back and forth. We learn, in a voiceover, that it's a double Elimination tonight. One from each group will go home. The Poo is worried that the 40-year-olds might be mad at him when they meet the 20-year-olds. He mentions it again as the older ladies line up for Elimination. On a sociological note, he referred to both groups as "girls."
Kelly Ripa's husband tells the ladies he's sure they wondered why they didn't see The Poo the day before. "Here's your answer!" he says pointing to the descending glass elevator. As the 20-year-olds parade out, Lynn blanches and says "Oh my god." Someone says "Holy cow!" The Poo smiles nervously. Post-op Kelli is stunned. Maria doesn't want any of the big-boobed, skinny-armed girls to stand next to her. Lynn feels that this isn't what she signed up for and maybe Poo should send her home. Jennifer turns to Megan and asks how old she is. "21," she says. Lynn smirks and whispers to the women next to her, "Doesn't somebody have a child who's 21?" They're giggling and it catches on. All the 40-year-olds just start laughing. Hard.
Remember when we were young, stupid and slutty?
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Comments (10)
Way to go, Ting Lee.
I agree, this show is addicting. Normally I hate dating shows, but the age tension makes this one interesting.
Keep up the good work on the recaps.
I love your nicknames for the ladies...
1 of 10 | Posted by MCH
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Posted on June 29, 2007 8:47 AM
I have to be careful when I'm reading this at work, because It typically makes me laugh out loud. I love Ting Lee's recaps! I don't have time to watch the show, so I watch it vicariously through Ting Lee's eyes...
2 of 10 | Posted by mle428
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Posted on June 29, 2007 11:25 AM
Great ReCap!
Our cable is out (new company) and i have to live through these recaps for the time being..(poor me!)
Anyways, I'm getting hooked on the show and i haven't even watched it YET! (Kudos to you Ting!)
and you know what?...I USED to know Kelly Ripa's Husband's name, until after i read this recap.... For the life of me i CANNOT remember it!..LOL....
Great work, keep it up.
3 of 10 | Posted by twnpeeks
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Posted on June 29, 2007 7:55 PM
Thats funny that you call him (Mark Conswatever) Kelly Ripas husband. If I was doing the recap i would call him Mateo the whole time!
4 of 10 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on June 29, 2007 8:25 PM
The last name of Kelly Rippas husband is Consuelo.
5 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:36 AM
The last name of Kelly Rippas husband is Consuelo.
6 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:38 AM
Typo, should have been Consuelos.
7 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:39 AM
That was a typo, the correct answer is Mark Consuelos.
8 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:41 AM
That was a typo, the correct answer is Mark Consuelos.
9 of 10 | Posted by herkxena
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Posted on June 30, 2007 6:42 AM
"Listen up, Girl. Here's the news: you better zip your stuttering lip and pray your shrink finally gets your bipolar meds right because someday you will have a hot flash and you will cry and shit your drawers and your momma will be too dead to take care of you and your husband will have long since had tender feelings. Really, I've had it with her."
That was priceless!
10 of 10 | Posted by Casey
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Posted on June 30, 2007 12:00 PM