Luke isn't handling seeing the poverty too well. He sees some kids eating trash and starts bawling. Listen, it's all very sad, for sure, but I saw a little movie this past year that assures me that they all end up winning "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" AND several Oscars. So... they'll all be just FINE.
Meanwhile Victor is waving out the window to all of the kids like a jolly asshole. "HELLOOOO!" I can't imagine what this village will think of Americans after this leg of the race. They then arrive at the next stop - the sacred tree - where there's a red phone under it. Victor picks it up, starts dialing and immediately engages nuclear war with Pakistan. I kid, I kid. They call "Baboo" the cabbie over to translate the message. It's a good thing too because Jackass Victor thought the message said "Valet Parking" when it really said, "Gaura Parvarti Parking." I'd die if when he gets there he just threw his keys at the nearest guy in a vest.
The other teams finally arrive at the tree - to which Jaime says, "Doesn't anyone see a damn tree?" About the sacred tree. Bitch is on a roll tonight. Next she'll ask where the "fucking cows" are so she can slaughter and eat one.
They all finally find the tree but NO ONE sees the red phone! THANK GOD Kris wasn't there. You just know he would've started to chop the tree down to look for it. All while Amanda screamed "Faster! I'm bored!"
Kisha is the first one to spot the phones and then... all hell breaks loose. Everyone takes about 2 seconds to listen to the message, promptly forget what it says exactly and then they run off to regurgitate to their cabbie where it said to go. Serious clusterfuck. Lil' guys are the only ones who actually listen to it well...
I was about to say "That phone is HUGE!" and then I realized everything is in proportion.
The Flight Attendants are the last to find the tree but quickly find the phone.
Jodi immediately starts to spiel and ask everyone to remain seated with their seatbelts fastened.
Tammy and Victor arrive at Amber Fort where they discover a Road Block! In this Road Block: one team member must bring a certain amount of food and water to a herd of camels.
Side Note: There was a fucking twig sticking in the left nostril of this camel. Did anyone else see that?!
Victor decides to do it and grabs the tiny water pail and immediately starts filling it with the straw. Ugh. Really? No worries though...
He switches to the basket and then dumps the food all over himself. DOES ANYONE ON THIS RACE HAVE HALF A BRAIN?!!?
Meanwhile the other teams are tearing up the streets of India trying to beat each other to the challenge. Jen compares it to the Indy 500 and she's not far off. Just trade hicks for camels and it works.
The teams arrive at the challenge and scatter every which way. I love how when there's more than one team present in any location it triples the stress and chaos. They can NOT be around each other without panicking!
I just loved this shot and wanted to post it. RUN LIL GUY RUN!
Finally they all figure it out and start camel care-taking. Jaime, however, decides to berate the Indian gentlemen there by yelling at them to speak English and then yells, "YOU'RE ANNOYING ME!" OHHHH MYYYYY GOD. DONE. She officially just made my SHIT LIST. I hope a camel bites her face.
Meanwhile Mel is about to blow his hernia carrying buckets of water and Margie's busting her ass as well. Luke calls her the "Bionic Mom".
Yeah... I can see that.
Finally the FA's arrive - way behind everyone else but they're roughly 120 years younger than Mel and Margie so they could catch up.
Meanwhile one of the handlers gets the worst kind of camel toe. (BTW - Love that when the guy falls he grabs onto the camel's balls - THAT won't piss it off!)
Victor finishes and gets the clue for the next stop - a creepy puppet shop. They're well in the lead. Especially with poor Mel who is desperately trying to finish. That guy is totally gonna croak. Mike says it's hard for him to watch, and yet...
He's smiling? SMILING. Mel outta walk over there and smack it off his face with the pail and/or his dislocated hip.
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Comments (9)
bBitz I
1 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:37 PM
Comments not working :0(
2 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:41 PM
Hey there we had to rebuild the page but I think everything's working now! Sorry bout that!
3 of 9 | Posted by flipit | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:58 PM
Nice recap.
I was hoping for a roadblock where they went to a call center and had to handle tech support calls for home computers.
Mel was a real trooper... and still a gentleman.
Mike totally could play Mr. Burns if they ever make a live action Simpsons movie.
Jaime demonstrates where the term "Ugly American" came from.
Still looking like the siblings are the favorites to win. (Lord knows, as lawyers they must need the money.)
4 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 27, 2009 2:34 PM
Great challenges this week! I would have loved to paint the elephant. (Does that sound like a weird euphemism for something?)
5 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on March 27, 2009 4:32 PM
Can't stop laughing about this one: "Look at the monkeys, Cara!" Those are children, Jaime. CHILDREN.
Priceless, bBitz. Priceless.
6 of 9 | Posted by zbird | Posted on March 27, 2009 5:32 PM
"Honey, you're so out I'm surprised you don't shit glitter!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Good one! Love your screen snaps and captions. This has actually been a pretty good TAR. There hasn't been a *really* despicable team. Everyone's got their meh moments and a spaz out. But, there's no team I really don't want to see win. No one's cleaning up on all the first place pit stop arrivals, either.
Then again, I haven't had a good belly laugh like when Dandrew were trying to march with the Russian soldiers last time 'round. Ah, but we've still got several weeks left.
7 of 9 | Posted by 2muchbravo | Posted on March 27, 2009 10:39 PM
I want to be more like Mel and less like Victor.
8 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on March 29, 2009 5:23 PM
Brilliant. Effin' brilliant. I'd laughed out loud three times halfway down the first page and kept laughing. "Honey - you're so "out there" I'm surprised you don't shit glitter" and "Someone please keep him behind the piano" were two of my favourites. You outdid yourself with this one. Thanks for the laugh!
9 of 9 | Posted by Mojo | Posted on April 1, 2009 11:47 AM