Mel keeps grunting like he's gonna split up the middle. On the other hand, Margie and Kisha skip the hay baskets (morons)...
LADIES! Now is NOT the time to stuff your bras.
Ironically, Mel, on the brink of death, uses his BRAIN and uses the hay baskets.
Victor and Tammy arrive at the next Detour: Movers and Shakers. In movers they must transport giant drums of hay, via bicycle, then tear through them and find a tiny charm thingy. Uhhh NO. Next? Dress up in a funny Indian-style costume, put make-up on and parade around for tips. Honey - put me in!
AND OF COURSE Victor chooses to shake it.
You know he's already got foundation on. Just a little powder, sir. Just a little blush.
Victor says he's breaking the stereotypes of lawyers right now - yup - and jumping right into another one. Enjoy your Indian Pride Parade. He then goes on to say he felt no shame in begging for money. Duh. YOU'RE A LAWYER.
Back at the camel challenge, Mark is telling himself "Think smart, Mark!" while he piles the hay with the water bucket. DIDN'T ANYONE SEE MEL USE THE BASKETS?! For Christ's sake - it's not like Mel is STEALTH-LIKE!!!
How's the street performance going you ask?
I hope there aren't any objects around that are heavy enough to hurt and light enough to be thrown.
Kisha and Margie finally start using the baskets thanks to MEL. Airheads. Mel finishes first, collapses and dies in celebration. WHAT? Nope - still kickin'.
Everyone else finishes behind him and they all head off to the detour at the bazaar. In the cab, Jaime tells us that she has hay on her "boobies" from the challenge...
You say it's "hay" I say it looks like eczema. Evil can really dry one's skin out.
Lil Guy, Mark, finishes the camel-challenge with the FA's close behind.
Victor and Tammy finally shake it enough to earn 100 rupees. Which after the current exchange rate is about $8,000 US dollars probably. Something like that. Their next clue is to go to the pit stop! Jaigarh Fort!
At the detour - Mike and Mel decide to "shake it".
I hope that's tanning powder. Ugh. Oh fuck it - just use cornstarch to blend his skin.
They quickly start to make money. Which is no surprise. That's how all gays make money - dancing in the bars and on the streets. Am I right or am I right, MidWest??!!
So let me get this straight. They focused on India's poverty this episode and what did they then teach them to do? BEG FOR MONEY FROM PEOPLE THAT NEED IT! TV is so down-to-earth. Thanks TV. You're my fucking hero.
But wait! I just heard Mel say it's for the Red Cross! So either he's severely mislead OR there's hope for humanity after all!!! Unfortunately I'm sure we'll find out that it's partly true - it's for CBS' new hit medical drama: "Red Cross".
Jen says she has no problems dancing in the street with a horse. OMG. JEN! (She's sitting RIGHT next to you... RUDE!!!)
They then do a PSA for Luke on why he "can't dance" and was hiding behind Mom. It's because he can't hear the music. BULLSHIT! He was embarrassed and was letting her do all the work! I know PLENTY of deaf people that can dance!!! It's blind people that can't dance for shit.
Case in point. Someone please keep him behind the piano.
Side note: And can someone PLEASE give this kid some sunglasses a la Stevie Wonder?! I swear those eyes follow me wherever I am in the room.
The Cheerleaders have no problem raising money. But COME ON - like they've never danced for money before. They even get to do it with clothes this time. GEEZ.
Lil' Guys decide to ride the bikes instead. That makes sense - do the most physical challenge. I hope those bikes have training wheels.
Christie and Jodi suddenly find their "Speed Bump" (their penalty for coming in last on the previous leg)!
How FANTASTIC would it have been if it read, "Lay down in the middle of this street. You are a SPEED BUMP."
Instead they have to go to a temple and paint an elephant for an upcoming festival. OH! Totally easy for them. Did you see the make-up they apply to themselves everyday?! And it's almost less surface area to cover too.
I should be kind - the FA's are actually really sweet to the elephants. And I love elephants. I'm going to try and direct my rage towards the cheerleaders from here on out.
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Comments (9)
bBitz I
1 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:37 PM
Comments not working :0(
2 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:41 PM
Hey there we had to rebuild the page but I think everything's working now! Sorry bout that!
3 of 9 | Posted by flipit | Posted on March 27, 2009 12:58 PM
Nice recap.
I was hoping for a roadblock where they went to a call center and had to handle tech support calls for home computers.
Mel was a real trooper... and still a gentleman.
Mike totally could play Mr. Burns if they ever make a live action Simpsons movie.
Jaime demonstrates where the term "Ugly American" came from.
Still looking like the siblings are the favorites to win. (Lord knows, as lawyers they must need the money.)
4 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 27, 2009 2:34 PM
Great challenges this week! I would have loved to paint the elephant. (Does that sound like a weird euphemism for something?)
5 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on March 27, 2009 4:32 PM
Can't stop laughing about this one: "Look at the monkeys, Cara!" Those are children, Jaime. CHILDREN.
Priceless, bBitz. Priceless.
6 of 9 | Posted by zbird | Posted on March 27, 2009 5:32 PM
"Honey, you're so out I'm surprised you don't shit glitter!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Good one! Love your screen snaps and captions. This has actually been a pretty good TAR. There hasn't been a *really* despicable team. Everyone's got their meh moments and a spaz out. But, there's no team I really don't want to see win. No one's cleaning up on all the first place pit stop arrivals, either.
Then again, I haven't had a good belly laugh like when Dandrew were trying to march with the Russian soldiers last time 'round. Ah, but we've still got several weeks left.
7 of 9 | Posted by 2muchbravo | Posted on March 27, 2009 10:39 PM
I want to be more like Mel and less like Victor.
8 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on March 29, 2009 5:23 PM
Brilliant. Effin' brilliant. I'd laughed out loud three times halfway down the first page and kept laughing. "Honey - you're so "out there" I'm surprised you don't shit glitter" and "Someone please keep him behind the piano" were two of my favourites. You outdid yourself with this one. Thanks for the laugh!
9 of 9 | Posted by Mojo | Posted on April 1, 2009 11:47 AM