Luke then brags in the taxi to his mother that they kicked the sisters' ass. Oy. This can only get worse - which only means fantastic television for us!
A cabbie race then breaks out between all teams. Luckily for Cara, Jaime has an extra car battery on her. Not in case the car stalls - in case the cabbie doesn't adhere to her demands and needs some battery-to-testes encouragement.
Jaime and Cara roll up to the foot massage parlor first (thanks car battery!) and head in for the Road Block: "Who's feeling manipulative?" And without hesitation Cara says, "ME!" and Jaime looks like "Absolutely!" Love it. Gotta know your team mate.
In this challenge, teams must drink ancient Chinese remedy tea, get a violent foot massage from little sadist Chinese girls and drink more tea. Cara hops in the chair, chokes down the tea and lets the torture begin. Either we're all gonna enjoy watching this or Cara's gonna put her foot through that poor girl's head.
Kisha and Jen arrive and Jen gets pissy when Kisha snatches the challenge away. Not to worry, Jen - she's in for a world of hurt...
"KIIIILLLL MEEEEE!!!!" Ironically this is the same face Jaime made when Cara told her that being on "Amazing Race" meant she'd have to travel out of the states.
After thousands of miles, the cheerleader meets her match. Bring it girl!
Next time bring a 100 calorie snack pack, Kisha. Geez.
Tammy and Victor arrive as Cara screams, "I feel like having a baby must be easier than this!" Well... normally it would. Unless you're Jaime and your baby has horns. Then not so much.
Tammy gets all Zen and takes deep breaths to get through the pain while Cara's head starts to spin around. She tells Jaime to shut up and comes close to a "THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU!!!" moment.
Luke snatches the challenge away from Margie when they arrive. Then once he starts crying about it she says, "It's hard to see him in pain - but I wanted to do this one - and he jumped in there so...." Margie, I believe the words you were searching for are "so.... fuck 'em. Deal with it."
Cara finishes first and gets the clue telling them to head to Guangcai Natatorium. Kisha & Jen and Tammy & Victor are close behind but everyone has difficulty finding taxis who know where they're going. And boy would I LOVE to know what Jaime said to the taxi and why it was bleeped out!
"GAUNTAI?! GUANTAI?! You look freakin' - like you are *@$*%!!!" I'm guessing the missing part wasn't "hardworking", "underpaid" or "excited to deal with a bitchy American".
Not to be out done, Jen sees their cabbie and yells, "Is that the same guy?! It's the same fucking guy! They all look alike!" Wow. True Ambassadors of American Culture.
Margie and Luke are the last to leave the challenge. Meanwhile, Jaime shuts Tammy down with an "Oh hell NO!" when she tries to take a cab! It's getting good folks! Four Ladies + Luke + Drama = Victor crying "Can't we all get along!"
Tammy phrases it perfectly when she says, "I didn't want to get into a fight with Jaime... she scares me." See?! It's not just the millions of viewers at home! I wonder if animals flee and/or urinate when they're around Jaime.
Jen's really nervous about the challenge since it sounds like it has something to do with swimming. She doesn't like to swim. Ok - but what if I told you it was a human-sized game of memory with Chinese people? Swimming doesn't sound so bad now does it?
Tammy & Victor find the right door to the Natatorium first and get the Detour: Sync or Swim. Teams must either jump off spring boards and hit the water at the same time or swim a 400 meter relay. Teams that are completely lazy and idiotic will choose sync since it's entirely more difficult than swimming a few laps. (That should have been added to the clue description.)
And of course, Tammy and Victor choose "sync" because they can't swim. Who CAN'T swim by the time they're an adult?! COME ON! Is it because Victor's afraid to get his hair wet?! Cause you know he loves wearing that "skimpy" speedo!
Ahhh geez! Jen can't swim either! WTF people!? Pool, pond, community pool, ocean, river?!? None of these things were present in your youth? I'm not taking any excuses unless you grew up in Death Valley.
Then comes the synchronized disaster that is Tammy and Victor...
So close. At least Victor nailed the "YMCA" before hitting the water.
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Comments (12)
tammy and victor have no more advantage then the teams that can speak spanish in the past seasons. I really don't like margie and luke, she is always plaing the victim card
1 of 12 | Posted by carol | Posted on May 3, 2009 10:47 AM
Hilarious!!!!!!!! Loved the Queen cap/pic and Jamie giving birth to a horned baby. Maybe the doc could just jerk it out by it's tail! Thanks for the recap, Yield coming up and Marge and Luke have already used theirs. Should be interesting. I'm very over M&L, he's such a panty waste bitch. I like K&J and V&T. I really hope K&J win, but almost all of the teams have been "Ugly Americans".
2 of 12 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on May 3, 2009 11:17 AM
It seems like everybody is trying to make Cara and Jaime look good. I think Kisha and Jen's remarks were WORSE than anything Jaime's said--but they weren't to anybody's face, anyway.
Luke has got to get away from his mama if there is to be any hope of his ever growing up.
I like the way Phil had the foresight to protect his face with the clue when he told Cara and Jaime the bad news!
3 of 12 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on May 3, 2009 11:26 AM
I am rooting for Team Kisha and Jen well anybody except Margie and Luke. I really hope Luke & Margie don't win - their both equally ridiculous!!!
4 of 12 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on May 3, 2009 11:45 AM
This line made me laugh (under the picture of Victor jumping):
"At least Victor nailed the "YMCA" before hitting the water." He did. He did.
Oh, and you know he liked running around in that skimpy speedo.
I'm rooting for Victor and Tammy cause us gays gotta stick together but since two of the other teams have gays too...
No, I can't root for Luke and Margie because Luke's a bitch (and not in a good way) and I can't root for Kisha and Jen cause those comments WERE racist and I can't root for the redheads cause one of them is the DEVIL.
Uh, maybe they should start the race over and bring back all the ousted teams?
Thanks for the good recap BBITZ.
5 of 12 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on May 3, 2009 1:44 PM
I'm still a sucker for mom/son teams. Go Margie & Luke!!
6 of 12 | Posted by Clair | Posted on May 3, 2009 3:11 PM
It's getting hard to know who to root against, anymore. I think the father-son team was the last one I consistantly felt like cheering for.
I did feel sorry for the sisters... it took some serious grit to jump off the board when you were that scared.
Luke's behavior was just wrong... and his mother share responsiblity for his immaturity.
ROFL when Phil flashed the Clue at the cheerleaders.
7 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 3, 2009 5:38 PM
I was watching this episode with my saintly little old mother when she turned to me and said "That deaf kid is kind of a douch". LOL Mom.
8 of 12 | Posted by IsabellaTheCat | Posted on May 3, 2009 7:16 PM
Isabella - your mom rocks!
9 of 12 | Posted by carol | Posted on May 3, 2009 9:38 PM
"The Deaf kid is Kind of a douch!" I would have died hearing that fro a little old lady. Funniest thing I have heard in a while.
Great recap! I had to contain my laughter several times because I am at work.
I can't believe some of the things that have come out of these people's mouths.
Sure does make for some funny ass tv!
10 of 12 | Posted by v_cap | Posted on May 4, 2009 10:00 AM
Put me squarely in the "Anybody But Margie & Luke" category at this point.
For a deaf kid, he runs his mouth a lot of kicking ass, etc., the hides behind mommy's skirt whenever there is a challenge.
I have been the kiss of death for each team I've started rooting for. It's making me think about rooting for M&L, but I can't do it.
I guess it's Vicky and Tammy for me.
11 of 12 | Posted by patbone21 | Posted on May 4, 2009 2:45 PM
Loved the captions on this recap! Jamie and Cara need to go!Thanks for a great recap!
12 of 12 | Posted by jglau78 | Posted on May 4, 2009 4:48 PM