The Lil Guys are really having it out now over the bag situation. The chubby one insists on getting the bags and the skinny one says the chubby one's choosing the bags over the million dollars. Awww... little things cease being cute when they're angry.

Margie is whacking away at the teeth - they're now 4 out of 5! She's really rockin' it this leg of the race. She's like Britney - even stronger after public humiliation. Can't keep her down! It's Margie, bitch! Gimme gimme more!

Margie fits the final dentures and they get their clue - the pit stop - Phya Thai Palace!

Kisha and Jen are singing along in the taxi and having a blast. In the post interview Jen says she figured out at one point that the other girls where actually trannies.

kishatrannies.png

I can tell you exactly when Kisha figured it out. Nice job, Trannie-sitting-behind-her!

I CAN'T believe Jaime actually has fun while doing it. And she seems to be oblivious that the girls are trannies. I'm sure she's just happy to be around girls she's prettier than.

Margie and Luke arrive at the pit stop and are team number ONE! They win a trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico! Nice. And Margie finished this leg standing up - double nice.

Kisha and Jen finish karaokeing but have to head back to get their bags before the pit stop. And they have no money on them for a taxi! YIKES. Totally fucked themselves. Looks like someone should've learned a few tricks from the Trannies.

Jaime & Cara and Victor & Tammy finish and head off to the pit stop via taxis. Jaime starts laying into their cabbie that he's the "meekest driver on earth." Apparently the meek really shall inherit - however what they inherit is an irate bitch. Lucky them!

Kisha and Jen finally find a taxi that will take them for free. I'm guessing it helped that they learned the phrase "Happy Ending" in Thai. Lil Guys are on the way back too and LUCK OUT when they get there and find their bags.

After screaming at their cabbie not to help Tammy & Victor's cabbie (who was asking for directions), Cara & Jaime finally make it to the pit stop and check in second. Ugh. At least they didn't place first. Kisha & Jen are right behing Tammy & Victor when they all arrive at the pitstop - it's a foot race - and the sisters beat them!

BUT WAIT!!! Phil won't check the girls in because they don't have their passports for the next leg! HELLOOOO!!! I'm assuming this is in the rule books girls!!! WOW. HUUUUUGE FUCK UP. Kisha's about to get an enormous amount of shit from Jen.

kisahsad.png

Awww. Come on Jen! How could you hate a face like this?!

Phil sends the girls back to go get their packs. Meanwhile the Lil Guys are back on track. They sold their compass and flashlight to the taxi driver to make their way to the Karaoke Challenge. And OF COURSE they say this challenge is like "second nature" and "easy". WHAT?! I swear they say they're PROS at EVERYTHING! Gotta love the short man's complex.

You know what they're even better at?! BEING COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS!

hottranniemesstaxi.png

Lil Guys have no idea they're riding with trannies and even go on to say they were "trying to please these pretty local girls"!!! Love it. I hope the taxi has a copy of "The Crying Game" to pop in. And if you want to please the trannies, you're gonna have to use that microphone in an entirely different manner.

Kisha and Jen also totally luck out and find their shit. They run back to the taxi in the hopes of not being last. Looks like a nail biter! BTW - I think I've seen Jen smile once so far this season.

Lil Guys arrive at the pitstop but have to barter with the driver since they're short on money. I love that they totally BS the guy about the worth of things too!

magicclip.png

Oh - this clip?! VERY EXPENSIVE. It uhhh... holds things. And uhh... it's magic. Yeah - I rubbed it once and wished that my penis would be huge in comparison to the rest of my body. So uhhh... be careful what you wish for!

The sale works and the Lil Guys check in as team number FOUR! BUT WAIT!!! PAPA PHIL LAYS THE SMACK DOWN AGAIN! Apparently teams are NOT allowed to barter and the Lil Guys get a FOUR HOUR penalty!!! HOLY SHIT! They don't have a chance.

Amazing Race: Is That a Trannie In My Butt or Are You Happy To See Me?! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4 

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Comments (16)

marishka:

Except for all the drama surrounding forgotten luggage, this seemed like a really easy, quickly finished leg of the race.

unwise:

Good episode and nice recap. I miss your Dancing with the Stars recaps, BBitz. Will you come back next season, please??

carol:

does anyone know if there is a copy of the rule book online? And do they change from season to season or just get more elaborate to try and make the race more fair?

fire@will:

Appreciated your recap more than usual, since I missed the episode (due to a brain fart).


"...be careful what you wish for!" LOL

Doesn't Jaime seem like the Bizzarro world version of Susan Boyle (who is initially unimpressive, but stunning when she starts stinging?)

bBitz:

unwise: I honestly don't think I could suffer through another season of "DWTS" - couldn't you tell how much I hated that show by the end?! I was tearing shit up! HOWEVER - I believe I will be doing "SYTYCD" next! Lobby your support to the editor! ;)

carol: Let me know if you find that rule book. That way I can make sure next season's teams actually friggin' read it.

fire@will: YES! Jaime is beauty on the outside and an ugly, sore "Boyle" on the inside!

zbird:

Ooh BBitz -- I loooove SYTYCD! That's actually the show that brought me to this site to begin with -- I missed an ep and googled it and voila! Gasm!

BTW: What is the point of Luke even BEING on the show? Margie does EVERYTHING, including fitting teeth. For goodness sake, he's pointless. He cries whenever something is even slightly difficult (I almost said "hard" but I guess we're not talking about his sexual orientation, are we?). What a baby. Go bionic mom!

Mr Dangerous:

Okay, this made me laugh: I hope the taxi has a copy of "The Crying Game" to pop in.

I agree with Zbird about Luke. He doesn’t do anything. His mother loves him, which is great, but I suspect she might help him a little too much and do things for him all the time.

I’m rooting for the Stubborn Queer/Smart Sis team.

pixielated:

"Apparently the meek really shall inherit - however what they inherit is an irate bitch. Lucky them!"

Funny!

How is Luke proving that deaf people can do anything that hearing people can? What would he be doing without his mom? Losing.

I agree with you, Mr. D., that Margie does too much for Lukie. She's overprotective to boot. It would be tough to have the Bionic Woman as a mom. (Kind of like Jay Leno's joke about being Jesus's brother: he wins a swim meet but, oops, here comes Jesus, walking on water!)

I don't know, I would think stuff like bartering would be part and parcel of being the most awesome, resourceful world travelers. It's not like they brought stuff just to barter with.

As long as Jaime and Cara don't win, I'm happy.

tv freak:

i can't believe that you didn't comment on the preview for next week, after you've been hating luke for so long...it looks like that brat luke pushes keesha out of the way for a clue and they get in a yelling match...well you've been waiting for the sisters to lose it...guess you get your prayers answered (be careful what you wish for-haha)

unwise:

All right, bbitz, I will be satified with SYTYCD. That is my favorite! I went to the tour last year. I still miss the motherfucking queen shout outs though. :)

carol:

wikipedia has a lot of the rules and seems pretty up to date. Here is one of my new favorite:

When teams need to purchase their own tickets, they may not travel on airlines or air routes that have been blacklisted by production, or may be only allowed to fly on airlines within a given white list; this is generally for safety and security reasons, but has also been used to prevent teams from finding routes not previously identified by the race planners that would gain considerably more time than expected and leading to teams potentially being more than a day apart.

**seems to me that production likes it when everyone bunches up at the airport...

Calimom:

There is a rule that you many not use anything you brought with you or acquired prior to the race to barter or exchange for money. I'm sure this is to prevent players from specifically bringing items with them for this purpose and keeps everyone on an even playing field. Dan last season tried to barter the shoes he just bought to pay the cab. Okay, becuase he used money from the race to buy them and didn't bring them from home. I'm pretty sure this rule has been around from early on - think about early seasons where teams had everything taken from them - they could have put on all their clothes if they knew they were coming in last and potential non-elim and then sold it off as they went along to get money.

juddfan:

Thanks, BB!!! When you first mentioned trannys, I thought you were joking . . .. guess it would have helped to watch, but I missed it and I have to say, FOUR HOURS--what in the f, has there ever been a penalty for more than 40 mins, totally crooked and wrong. I'm not sure what they have against the little guys, but they made sure they would go no further!!!! Seems very convenient to me . . .

Dentures, ewwww, I couldn't have, just no . . .

Even not watching, ever since Luke and Margie did the blind uturn, I have been anti. Seeing Luke give up on pulling that thingy and making Mom do it, I couldn't agree more, big, goo-goo baby!!! I'll wait till next recap to go on, but it's true, BB, you'll love it!!!!

gsensel:

DanDrew gave away a pair of shoes last year to pay for a cab ride, so either they are conveniently making up new rules or they are changing every time...

snarky:

Great job, bB. I can't wait until the next recap- I've got some shit today to say about the whole Deaf Guy Smackdown situation.

My comments for this episode:

I am SO SICK of the redheads using every page of the Ugly American playbook. Do they realize how moronically fucking stupid they look each week standing in the middle of a foreign country completely irritated that no one speaks English?!? I mean, when they were literally yelling at the Chinese dance instructors (oops, was that in the next episode?), I wanted to jump through my TV and shank them both. ("NO, you stupid bitches, they DON'T speak any English at all because they don't HAVE to, they live in FUCKING CHINA!!!")

The Shorties--Lord have mercy, they deserved to be booted. How many damn screwups can you possibly self-inflict?? I was rooting for them in the beginning, but they're just too dopey for their own good.

The sisters I'm rooting for, and you are so correct about the cardinal rule of Never Ever Leaving Your Shit Behind!

The broken teeth challenge was one of the grossest yet. Thank God for the gloves. And I always have heard tales of the enchanting Lady Boys of Thailand that entice unsuspecting Westerners with their beauty...what, they were all booked up that day?? YIKES!

Nancy Kerrigan caption, by the way...priceless!

The Deaf Dude is a Punk Ass Momma's Boy, which will of course be discussed next week.

Lastly, my Gaydar has always been a finely-tuned machine after having been born and raised in Southern California, but I honestly NEVER have gotten a reading from Victor, so I was very surprised to read your recaps. Is it time to take it in for service, or what?? I don't see it!!

Mr Dangerous:

Snarky:

I didn't see it either and then I put new batteries in my gaydar.

Now, I see it.


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