Previously we learned that if you make it through rounds and rounds of interviews and casting sessions and the first 3 legs of the race - you should probably know enough to HOLD ON TO YOUR @%&*$@! PASSPORT! WHY?!?! Because this is "AMAZING RACE". Not "Amazing Race Around the Continental US".
Dan and Sam, the 2 usurpers of Zev and Justin's first place throne, leave first and get the clue, "Fly to the Persian Gulf and find the world's tallest building." If Lance thinks it's somewhere in Iraq this is going to be the best episode EVER. Either way I think they should make him wear a "Jesus is my Homeboy" t-shirt for this leg. Just, ya know, to see if he makes it.
Teams are actually on their way to Dubai which is like the Disneyland of the Persian Gulf. The building is the "Burj Dubai" and is twice as high as the Empire State Building. Which really only means it takes suicide jumpers in Dubai twice as long to kill themselves.
Team Bromos heads out and asks their taxi cab driver where the tallest building in the Persian Gulf is. He doesn't know. But he totally missed his chance to say, "It's definitely in Iran. You should try there first. Make sure to hold hands while looking for it."
WAIT - I just replayed that last part - they asked WHERE THE PERSIAN GULF IS. REALLY?!!? COME ON!!! It's not like I expect everyone to know where the Persian Gulf is, I mean we've only been in several wars within the region over the last decades - no biggie - but if you're going to be on the "Amazing Race"... AT LEAST KNOW WHERE MAJOR SHIT IS!!!! SHIT!!! I pray they don't air this show in Europe. MORONS.
Team Trotters says they think they'll be able to win because they lived through hurricanes. I love how they wait until they're about to head into a dessert to use "lived through hurricanes" as a reason they'll win. Your river-rafting and ability to hold an umbrella while doing things should also come in handy.
Team Oreo leaves next and Ms. America knows exactly where the tallest building is! Now THAT, my friend, is breaking a stereotype! Perhaps it's where she wanted to start her mission of world peace... for the children... in the Iraq... such as... and South Africa... like... for the children. Thank you.
Team Trotters stops by an internet cafe to find out where the building is and also that they have to go to the airport to book tickets.
Team BroMos arrives to the airport to ask for "Tickets to the Persian Gulf". While they're at it, they're also going to buy some tickets to "The European Airport", "The North American Train Station" and "Antartican Parking Lot".
Finally they realize "the Persian Gulf isn't even a country". I'm ashamed for them. I give up. How pissed would all of you be if I just gave up writing right now?
.........
I've decided to come back. Only to ridicule these assholes for the rest of the season. Were you worried?
Team Oreo shows up and finally tells Dumb and Dumber that it's in Dubai. To which I fully expect them to reply, "But isn't that on Endor?!"
Team Massholes talk about how their wedding already has a deposit down on it. I can't imagine what that must cost. "Medieval Times" isn't cheap.
Team Bible Beaters gets in a little scuffle when Canaan tells Mika she needs to "change that lil' 'tude of yours." Wow. WWJD? SMITE her!
Soon all teams arrive at the airport to book tickets. Except for these two...
Who I'm convinced just stared at this computer for 15 minutes before they realized they had to turn it on.
They make it to the airport just in time to fly to Dubai, via Bangkok, with the other teams.
Once in Dubai, teams frantically try to find a water fountain where the next clue is. However, Mika and Canaan run into a problem when their cab driver has no idea what they're talking about...
And Canaan chooses a hell of a time to tell everyone his God is #1.
All teams finally arrive at the sign-up list for the shuttle and Team Farm Boys place last - although they're still smiling which is much more than you can say for the other teams.
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Comments (13)
Only on page 1 at the second picture caption and already LMAO!
1 of 13 | Posted by Clair | Posted on October 22, 2009 1:02 PM
Oh, no you d'nt...scraping kindergarteners off??? I actually chortled...Best recap so far...nice!
2 of 13 | Posted by bluzgirl | Posted on October 22, 2009 2:14 PM
On the way down, Brian gets the idea for them to tell all the other teams how SCARY the top is. Team Master Race agrees and stepping out of the elevator scream, "THERE WAS BLACK PEOPLE UP THERE!!!" Aaaaaawkward.
OMFG....lol!
great job...i need another new monitor...
3 of 13 | Posted by pappy44 | Posted on October 22, 2009 2:52 PM
On CBS's Elimination Station for this week's episode it showed that Lance & Keri arrived before Zev & Justin. The station's occupants knew that Z&J were coming but were surprised when L&K showed up instead.
The previous Elimination Station showed that Z&J arrived 3 days late.
I wonder if that means that next week's eliminants arrive at the station before Z&J as well?
4 of 13 | Posted by gerritv | Posted on October 22, 2009 2:59 PM
It's a 120 fricken degrees in the Dubai desert and Lance can't take off his shirt?!
As I said before I like the cream in Team Oreo but he doesn't always look good. He looks better from the side as opposed to straight on. I wonder how he got Miss America? I bet he has nude photos of her and he blackmailed her with them.
Since Lance is gone I'll have to root for Pinky to go shirtless since he has the second biggest chest.
Looking forward to the threat of violence next week via Team Bible Beaters. I've already started praying for that poor woman. (Praying that she leaves that crazy man and doesn't marry him.)
5 of 13 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on October 23, 2009 8:01 AM
Great recap. Not at all offensive to anyone.
Sad to see Massholes go as they were one of the only semi-interesting teams. Hopefully there is some major drama next week to spice things up.
6 of 13 | Posted by IWantMyCupcake | Posted on October 23, 2009 8:56 AM
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!! Your recaps are the best! I like all the teams, even the Massholes who are gone. This is an AR first for me. Team Bromos hanging around waiting to make sure Pokerface got a car was just stupid. It's not like they could do anything to speed up the process or offer them a ride. For this level of stupidity I hope Bromos go next. Funny, funny recap, love it! Thanks!
7 of 13 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on October 23, 2009 2:22 PM
Like Bluzgirl up there, this one really caught my eye: "What happens if she gets blocked in at a elementary school?! "There was a car parked behind me!!!" as they pull her car out of the jungle gym - scraping kindergartners off the front of it."
I seriously had to stop reading for at least two minutes -- I was laughing too hard!
Your DWA reference gave me a giggle too: "It's OK - I have an excuse - I'm an Asian female driver!" Awful. It has nothing to do with her being female.
I think Lance should be fined for breaking that stuff -- or better yet, given community service in Dubai to clean the camel dung in the desert. What an a-hole. Sayonara, douche nozzle.
So, what's the story on Zev and Justin taking so long to get there? What happened to them?
8 of 13 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 23, 2009 3:50 PM
bBitz...me thinks you are akin to the color of the Hub of the Universe. Do tell.
9 of 13 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on October 25, 2009 11:21 AM
Bitchristine: I'd be happy to answer questions if I could make any sense of them. Whaaaaa? Was that a compliment? I'm gonna go with compliment. Thank you! :)
10 of 13 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on October 25, 2009 5:29 PM
Wierd season. Glad to see Massholes go, but...they were interesting, at least. Don't have a fave (now that Zev and Justin are gone) and I don't have any I really hate (anymore), but Mika is a huge baby and why did she go on this show?
Great recap, as usual.
11 of 13 | Posted by jaybird | Posted on October 25, 2009 8:29 PM
Ha! I love this show and this recap! I see the Burj Dubai every day at my work. Ok not really but some guy built it out of toothpicks and its on display at my work. Kinda cool to 'see' it on TV!
12 of 13 | Posted by jnoble82 | Posted on October 26, 2009 2:20 AM
AGH, Mr. D--too bad Massholes didn't last one more week . . . I'm sure you know what I mean.
These peeps should watch the discovery channel more often--I knew all about that tallest building, and the indoor ski place, and even some of the things in this weeks epi.
I'm wondering if they'll have to go out to the finger islands (I think that's what they're called) Yep, they have the nerve to build islands in the shape of things, like a bunch of Vegas strips together, and then build sky scrapers on them--I can't imagine a thing that could go wrong . . .
Great recap, I read this last night and forgot what I was going to say. alas, I'm sure the tears are flowing as a result. hee . . . paahhapps the humiliation for all Salemites has ended with Massholes depaahhhtuah. I always thought being directionally challenged was a big plus for AR--who knew . . .
13 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 26, 2009 10:43 AM