Back with Drama and Sarah in the cab...
"Terence! You're turning Violet Terence!" Maybe if she gives him an Oompa-Loompa he'll shut up about the dye.
Dan also finishes before the Divorcees - which is bittersweet. I wanted to see him get pelted more HOWEVER it makes the Divorcees even more frantic which is delightful. Kelly tries to run back in (to get yet another "Try Again" I'm sure) and falls on her face. AHHHH!!! This is the total and complete definition of "schadenfreude".
Kelly! Stop clowning around! Hooo... that was a good one. I'm spent.
Kelly starts crying "I can't do it! I can't go on!" to which Christy yells "You can do it for a million dollars!" Bitch was ready to drag Kelly by her Rainbow Brite hair right on back in there! And then finally - they get it! (Damn)
Ken and Tina are next and (of course) Tina sends Ken marching into the madness. Just to give you all an idea of what these poor bastards are going through - here's 2 shots of Ken:
He goes from "Pretty in Pink" to the "Incredible Hulk" in seconds! Although Bruce Banner would've smacked Tina by now for sure.
Meanwhile, the Divorcees flip the fuck out trying to find a cabbie that will let their candy colored asses in their cab.
Christy is LIVID and starts screaming at cabbies to STOP! Hmmm... she reminds me of someone else...
Yup. That's it.
Ken and Tina complete the roadblock but not before Tina goes green:
If she were any greener Leonardo DiCaprio would ride her to work.
Back at the bird house Nick and Starr find their next clue in a bird cage - it's a DETOUR! Bleary Eyed or Teary Eyed. Bleary Eyed: Teams follow tiny power lines in the sky to a guy who sews and then they plug in a blinking elephant. I shit you not. Teary Eyed: Teams must carry huge bags of chiles and then grind them into powder which will make them cry. At least Dan will finally have a good excuse.
Dallas and Toni recruit some kids to help them in the search for the hospital. Dallas is really sweet to the kids and makes Momma proud. These two are pretty much sealing the deal for my favorite team.
Back to Terence and Sarah - just a side note - if I made fun of them for every asshole thing they did I swear this recap would be endless. While in the taxi, Terence attempts to wash the dye out of his nose by pouring water up it.
Terence takes his daily dose of brain juice... to no avail.
Here are some fun quotes from their time at the bird hospital: Terence: "These birds are really messed up babe." Sarah: "I know babe - it's because it's a bird hospital." Terence: "I feel like the clue's underneath the seeds (and all the bird shit)... do you want to go in there?" Sarah: "Like put my hands in it?" Terence: "Yeah." There it is Ladies and Gentlemen - Terence just got his girlfriend infected with Avian Bird Flu.
"It puts the lotion in the basket! And then the bird flu in its mouth."
Once they find the clue their off to the detour while Ken and Tina arrive to find a speed bump! Their speed bump is that they must serve holy water at a temple until everyone there has quenched their thirst. What?! This sounds like a task that's difficult to ever complete. I guess this is their second chance though. And after a few death stares from Tina I'm sure people will flee.
By the way, now that all teams have completed the Holi Festival, they remind me of something...
They look like the arch enemies of the mascots from the Beijing Olympics.
Back to the detours - Nick/Starr, Dallas/Toni and the Divorcees are all following the power lines. Terence would have been great at this task since he grew up under power lines but they decided to do the spice challenge.
Nick and Starr figure out what they're doing quickly but pretend they don't know when Dallas and Toni ask about it. TREACHERY! It would have been funny if they did it to anyone else - but not sweet Dallas and Toni! (Of course in the interview afterwards, Nick and Starr BRAG about it! EW.)
Terence and Sarah arrive at "Teary Eyed" and (of course) Sarah carries the huge bags of chili peppers. Meanwhile, Ken and Tina frantically serve holy water as part of their speed bump.
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Comments (15)
There is something terribly wrong with Terrance, who the hell pours water up your nose to get something out of it. Try BLOWING you moron!! I'm surprised he didn't ask Sarah to pick it out for him... Cannot wait for them to get eliminated!!!
Great Recap, as usual. Wow, those divorcee's can't read directions can they? She must had gone back and fourth about 5 times before they finally figured it out. Did you see Terrance push everybody out of his way? I was surprised no one took a swing at him, I sure would have...
1 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:16 AM
Since I started reading tvgasm, when I watch shows and I pick out scenes I wish they would post because they are too funny
I loved this recap by the way
P.S. Did y'all hear about the naked Dallas pictures?
2 of 15 | Posted by greenshoes713 | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:34 AM
I've laughed thru many recaps at tvgasm, but never have I laughed so hard that I cried until your caption & the pictures of Terrence in bed. BWAH HA HA!
So happy those nasty girls were eliminated. I think Tina helped the fatfrats just to get those girls outta there!
Excellent episode & excellent recap!!!
3 of 15 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:48 AM
Funniest recap EVER!
4 of 15 | Posted by Clair | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:51 AM
In your Terrence in bed montage it looks like Terrence is taking it up the butt.
I'm liking that Ken and Tina but I want to switch up the teams. I want Ken and Dallas to be partners and then Tina and Toni can be partners.
After each leg of the race I want there to be a sequence where Ken and Dallas shower together. (Okay, maybe I'm the only one that wants to see that.)
Anyway, don't lie about Nick. It's obvious you've got a thing for him. Lie to your mother but don't like to me, baby.
5 of 15 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:08 PM
LOL I wouldn't mind seeing Nick and Dallas shower together...
Terry is scaring me he looks like the Exorcist..
6 of 15 | Posted by greenshoes713 | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:36 PM
My eyes!! My eyes!! Terence in bed--AAARGHH! Does anyone have any brain-bleach handy?
He looks like a Christian martyr wearing the crown of thorns.
Let's mix up the teams this way: Ken and Dallas (Team Beef), Tina and Starr (Team Winner), Sara and Andrew (Team Long-Suffering), Dan and Terence (Team Tense)--wouldn't that be perfect? I still like Sara, and, I must say, Andrew has grown on me. I love a nice, mellow guy; that's probably why my first serious boyfriend was a serious pothead.
7 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:37 PM
Wow, I forgot Nick and Toni. I guess they could go together, or maybe Toni and Starr, and Nick and Tina. Yeah, that sounds good. I'd really like to see Nick and Tina as a team!
8 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 12, 2008 1:16 PM
Funny as hell recap dude! :) And yay, you're caught up. I thought this episode was great. I cracked up the whole time Kelly and Christie were at the dye challenge. What a bunch of idiots. And then Tina getting green and cussing, that was pretty funny too. I thought her hair looked cool!!
I'm not a big fan of Andrew and Dan but I was so glad it was Kelly and Christie to leave and not them. Looks like they have a meltdown this week anyways. And oh yeah, I was cheering on Ken and Tina too! They did awesome this episode!!
9 of 15 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on November 12, 2008 2:09 PM
And the Emmy for best recap ever in reality TV programming goes to.....bBitz! Laughed all the way thru, thanks sooo much! Love this season too!
10 of 15 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on November 12, 2008 2:43 PM
Ha ha ha ha ha- That caption of Terrance had me falling out. So not an image I wanted in my head. Loving Ken and Tina this episode and so glad the divorced dummies are gone. This was a really good episode. Pretty much anything that comes out of Terrence's mouth is priceless- what a tool. 'Who's my girl!'...You are!' ha ha- so funny.
Thanks for the awesome recap!! Images of Terrance's O face will haunt me for a while though.....Must...not...picture...Ooohhhh, damn it, it won't go away.
11 of 15 | Posted by corndog | Posted on November 12, 2008 3:17 PM
Terrance & Sarah are the best entertainment ever. Sarah is so capable, and Terrance is such a weenie. Crack me up.
Glad the Divorcees are gone, I'd had enough of them.
Kenny & Tina (with green hair) were the least annoying ever in this episode.
This season took some time, but this past episode was enjoyable.
Thanks for the awesome recap!
12 of 15 | Posted by Yur Mom | Posted on November 12, 2008 3:23 PM
What gets me is what assholes Tina and the Divorcees were to the Indian people with the dye. That REALLY is a holy festival that they celebrate every year. A co-worker of mine who is from India says it is the favorite one of the year and everyone has so much fun. Way to make Americans look like jerks, girls.
13 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 13, 2008 3:39 AM
GREAT recap (and a good,fun AR episode).
When the 4 kids joined up on the electric number thing, Nick/Starr had already found one - but didn't mention it to Toni/Dallas. So, I was expecting only one of them to have it right on the first try. I wonder if Nick told them about the first number or if the other team just spotted it at some point.
Nice to see girls eliminated. I'd liek to see Terrance next, if only to keep you from planting any more of those "sex" images in my brain.
I pretty much agreed with everything you said. Awesome job.
14 of 15 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 13, 2008 10:37 AM
Excellent! I wish they had that Holi Festival in "I Love Money". Then that show wouldn't be terrible.
15 of 15 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on November 14, 2008 10:15 AM