The Divorcees are on a rickshaw to the detour but are falling behind thanks to their driver's insistence that they learn about important landmarks:
And there's American Starbuck's to my left, American Call Centers over there on my right and American morons right here behind me.
I'm actually pretty impressed with Ken and Tina. Even though they're completely behind, they're being friendly to all of the holy water patrons and Tina's even learning what to say when she serves it. WOW. WHAT is IN the holy water SHE'S drinking?!
Nick/Starr and Toni/Dallas are now working together on following the power lines. I love that Nick says, "God I'm glad you guys showed up - there was no way we could do this on our own!" Sly bastard. Never trust the cute ones.
Terence and Sarah start grinding the chili peppers. Terence: "Keep going babe!" He then immediately drops his pestle and starts to cough, cry and shit himself.
It turns out even the good karma Ken and Tina mustered from doing so well at the Holy water station can't help them now. They're stuck in shitty traffic and Tina is slowly turning from Jekyll back to Hyde. HOWEVER, they use ingenuity and hop out of the cab and like Moses, move all of the cars out of the way so their taxi can get through! Good thinking! WOW. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!
Thanks to working together (yeah feel-good teamwork!), Dallas/Toni and Nick/Starr complete the detour and head off to the PIT STOP - Humayun's Tomb! Since Nick said Dallas & Toni were SO helpful I'm SURE he'll let them win it if they arrive on the mat at the same time!!! Ugh. I hope Momma & Baby Bear whip their smarmy asses.
Back at chili grinding, Terence is having a slightly hard time...
On my last recap, several of you wondered what Terence might be like in bed - here's a glimpse...
The Fat Frats arrive at the power lines and start looking while the Divorcees are right behind. The Divorcees stay in their taxi and just read random numbers off of street signs.
She holds the instructions in her hand but have these two ever READ the instructions of a challenge correctly?!!? EVER?!?! EVER?!!?!!?!?!? If Phil doesn't greet them with a "Just how fucking stupid are you?!" at the mat I will be SORELY disappointed.
At the head of the race, Nick/Starr and Dallas/Toni battle through traffic to get to the pit stop. Toni's Thought-of-the-Day: "That was just un-friggin-believable!" I love this woman.
The Fat Frat's continue to fuck up the power lines while the Divorcees also get a thumbs down. Neither teams have figured that they're doing it wrong. Best part is - if they don't finish this before nightfall - they're SCREWED.
Back at the Pit Stop - Nick and Starr come in first. BOOO!! DAMMIT! I really wanted Dallas and Toni to take this one. However I did enjoy that the "Indian Welcomer" at the mat was too busy watering the lawn to give a shit about their arrival. "Yeah yeah - welcome to India - I got shit to do or the wife's gonna bitch." He'll be taking out the trash when the next team arrives.
Once Dallas/Toni check in as 2nd, Toni kids that she'll "Kick Nick and Starr later." Aww - it's funny because she could totally kick BOTH of their asses.
Fat Frats fail the power line challenge the 2nd time around. And the Divorcees still have the clue in hand - but no fucking clue in their head.
The Fats offer to work with them and the Divorcees ask for a divorce before THAT marriage of teams even has a chance to start.
Terence and Sarah complete their spice-grinding and head off to the Pit Stop. Amazing that they're ahead! Meanwhile Ken and Tina join the power line challenge, do it CORRECTLY and come up on the Divorcees while they're having their numbers checked for the 3rd time...
Christy hides their numbers from Ken and Tina. She puts the "itch" in "Bitch". And I say "itch" because she has enough dye up her hoo-hoo to color 60 Easter eggs.
Karma's back - Ken and Tina's numbers are CORRECT! For the first time ever I found myself routing for them and am happy to see them ahead of the evil twins and fat frats!
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Comments (15)
There is something terribly wrong with Terrance, who the hell pours water up your nose to get something out of it. Try BLOWING you moron!! I'm surprised he didn't ask Sarah to pick it out for him... Cannot wait for them to get eliminated!!!
Great Recap, as usual. Wow, those divorcee's can't read directions can they? She must had gone back and fourth about 5 times before they finally figured it out. Did you see Terrance push everybody out of his way? I was surprised no one took a swing at him, I sure would have...
1 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:16 AM
Since I started reading tvgasm, when I watch shows and I pick out scenes I wish they would post because they are too funny
I loved this recap by the way
P.S. Did y'all hear about the naked Dallas pictures?
2 of 15 | Posted by greenshoes713 | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:34 AM
I've laughed thru many recaps at tvgasm, but never have I laughed so hard that I cried until your caption & the pictures of Terrence in bed. BWAH HA HA!
So happy those nasty girls were eliminated. I think Tina helped the fatfrats just to get those girls outta there!
Excellent episode & excellent recap!!!
3 of 15 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:48 AM
Funniest recap EVER!
4 of 15 | Posted by Clair | Posted on November 12, 2008 11:51 AM
In your Terrence in bed montage it looks like Terrence is taking it up the butt.
I'm liking that Ken and Tina but I want to switch up the teams. I want Ken and Dallas to be partners and then Tina and Toni can be partners.
After each leg of the race I want there to be a sequence where Ken and Dallas shower together. (Okay, maybe I'm the only one that wants to see that.)
Anyway, don't lie about Nick. It's obvious you've got a thing for him. Lie to your mother but don't like to me, baby.
5 of 15 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:08 PM
LOL I wouldn't mind seeing Nick and Dallas shower together...
Terry is scaring me he looks like the Exorcist..
6 of 15 | Posted by greenshoes713 | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:36 PM
My eyes!! My eyes!! Terence in bed--AAARGHH! Does anyone have any brain-bleach handy?
He looks like a Christian martyr wearing the crown of thorns.
Let's mix up the teams this way: Ken and Dallas (Team Beef), Tina and Starr (Team Winner), Sara and Andrew (Team Long-Suffering), Dan and Terence (Team Tense)--wouldn't that be perfect? I still like Sara, and, I must say, Andrew has grown on me. I love a nice, mellow guy; that's probably why my first serious boyfriend was a serious pothead.
7 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:37 PM
Wow, I forgot Nick and Toni. I guess they could go together, or maybe Toni and Starr, and Nick and Tina. Yeah, that sounds good. I'd really like to see Nick and Tina as a team!
8 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on November 12, 2008 1:16 PM
Funny as hell recap dude! :) And yay, you're caught up. I thought this episode was great. I cracked up the whole time Kelly and Christie were at the dye challenge. What a bunch of idiots. And then Tina getting green and cussing, that was pretty funny too. I thought her hair looked cool!!
I'm not a big fan of Andrew and Dan but I was so glad it was Kelly and Christie to leave and not them. Looks like they have a meltdown this week anyways. And oh yeah, I was cheering on Ken and Tina too! They did awesome this episode!!
9 of 15 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on November 12, 2008 2:09 PM
And the Emmy for best recap ever in reality TV programming goes to.....bBitz! Laughed all the way thru, thanks sooo much! Love this season too!
10 of 15 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on November 12, 2008 2:43 PM
Ha ha ha ha ha- That caption of Terrance had me falling out. So not an image I wanted in my head. Loving Ken and Tina this episode and so glad the divorced dummies are gone. This was a really good episode. Pretty much anything that comes out of Terrence's mouth is priceless- what a tool. 'Who's my girl!'...You are!' ha ha- so funny.
Thanks for the awesome recap!! Images of Terrance's O face will haunt me for a while though.....Must...not...picture...Ooohhhh, damn it, it won't go away.
11 of 15 | Posted by corndog | Posted on November 12, 2008 3:17 PM
Terrance & Sarah are the best entertainment ever. Sarah is so capable, and Terrance is such a weenie. Crack me up.
Glad the Divorcees are gone, I'd had enough of them.
Kenny & Tina (with green hair) were the least annoying ever in this episode.
This season took some time, but this past episode was enjoyable.
Thanks for the awesome recap!
12 of 15 | Posted by Yur Mom | Posted on November 12, 2008 3:23 PM
What gets me is what assholes Tina and the Divorcees were to the Indian people with the dye. That REALLY is a holy festival that they celebrate every year. A co-worker of mine who is from India says it is the favorite one of the year and everyone has so much fun. Way to make Americans look like jerks, girls.
13 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 13, 2008 3:39 AM
GREAT recap (and a good,fun AR episode).
When the 4 kids joined up on the electric number thing, Nick/Starr had already found one - but didn't mention it to Toni/Dallas. So, I was expecting only one of them to have it right on the first try. I wonder if Nick told them about the first number or if the other team just spotted it at some point.
Nice to see girls eliminated. I'd liek to see Terrance next, if only to keep you from planting any more of those "sex" images in my brain.
I pretty much agreed with everything you said. Awesome job.
14 of 15 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 13, 2008 10:37 AM
Excellent! I wish they had that Holi Festival in "I Love Money". Then that show wouldn't be terrible.
15 of 15 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on November 14, 2008 10:15 AM