Once they arrive at the clue the teams find a "Detour"! They have to "Beach It" or "Dock It". In "Beach It" teams have to travel by "bugres" to a beach where traditional Brazilian boats are waiting. Teams have to roll the boats on logs across the beach and into an inlet. Good times! Fuck THAT.
In "Docket", Teams must go to to a shipyard where they'll use a computer (the blondes are fucked - "OMG!!!! Does this thing have Facebook?!") to find a code that will lead them on a hunt for the correct shipping container.
Most teams choose "Beach It" - except the Nerds who wet themselves over the chance to use a computer. And the only other team to "Docket"?!? The blondes!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Except... wait for it... they go the wrong way and end up at BEACH IT!!! I swear these two idiots will make it to the end just by having pure dumb luck.
The Nerds quickly locate their code in the computer at "Docket", exclaiming "There's just NO WAY you sit us down at a computer and we aren't gonna tear it up!" Ok guys, you scrolled down the screen to find a number. Even the Blondes could've done that! (If they could find the computer first of course.)
Bill then gives us his "Yoda" impression. I'm guessing 99% of the viewing audience cringed during this. The 1% who didn't are Bill's online Dungeons and Dragons partners.
Back on the beach, even though they're in first place, Terence is berating Sarah for not going fast enough because she started out the day with push-ups. The Divorcees hear this and comment that it reminds them of their ex-husbands. Well - at least there's hope for Sarah.
Nick has Starr kiss their beach-helpers to get them to work faster in helping them. Way to go Nick - only took you 1.5 episodes to start whoring her out. She'll have STD's from around the world by the end - but they'll have a million dollars to pay the medical bills. Even break.
Andrew and Dan arrive to "Beach It" and Dan immediately hops on the boat and waits for the Brazilian guys to push it.
If Dan listened carefully he would've learned how to say, "Are you fucking kidding me Cleopatra?! Get your fat ass OFF!!" in Portuguese.
Luckily Andrew arrives and tells him to do just that.
The Nerds have begun their search for the hidden shipping container but are beginning to realize that it's much harder when you don't have a Garmin.
Terence and Sarah finish "Beach It" first and find that they have to travel to "Parque de Vaquejada" to find their next clue. However - they completely miss the arrows to their pre-arranged taxis and head off in the wrong direction. WTF?!?! How do people always do this?! If I was on this show I wouldn't go ANYWHERE without first looking for that yellow and red arrow sign!!!
On the other hand, Pimp Nick and Lady Starr follow the arrows and find the taxis. However the Divorcees stay on the beach and FREAK OUT that they can't find the "container" in the "yard". Yeah - they're reading the directions from the other Detour. Awesome.
Back at the yard, the Nerds finally find their container and are off to the Parque.
Terence and Sarah, now halfway to Central America, still have not found a taxi. What's dumber than that?!
The Divorcees digging in the sand to look for the "container"!!! HAHAHAHA! Thank God that little flag wasn't in concrete! Morons!
Don't worry though - Tina's there to help them out...
"Lick this bitches! Keep diggin' - the next pit stop is China!"
Ken then tries to get Tina to walk through some water to get to the taxis quicker. You would've thought she could walk ON the water after the martyrdom she portrayed at the airport.
Terence and Sarah? Still lost. And Terence says "Should we get an ice cream?" Seriously?!! Beat him, Sarah. No one will say a word. I promise.
Best part - the Nerds blow by them in their taxi and say "Oh! That was Terence and Sarah! I don't think they needed us to stop." Spectacular! Sarah says, "If one more team passes us by I'll tear my hair out." Finally she's making sense now! Start over again!
And now - Tina and Ken blow by them! Love it! The camera guy taping them must've been laughing his ass off. Tina wanted to stop and help so she could hold it over their head - but Ken had ordered the taxi to keep going. Looks like Terence wasn't a good enough kisser.
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Comments (15)
bBitz, it's hard to say which is better, the actual show or the recap. It's like trying to choose between shoes and paying the rent..it's an impossible situation to find yourself in
Do white people ever get embarrassed by the stuff other white people do like black people? If so, the entire race should hang their heads in shame in honor of Terrance and Sarah (or as like to call them Rose Nyland and Noballs Magillicutty)
Every time I see Tina her eyebrows look like she is thinking *high voice* SAY WHAAAAAAAT *high voice*
Are the Fat Frats just recreating the entire movie "Super Bad"? I'm waiting for a bully to come out the store and grab one of them by the collar and say "you are not invited to my party and neither is your f*(%*&^ friend"
1 of 15 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on October 8, 2008 1:28 PM
missed the epi, so thanks for catching me up, Bblitz!!! Great recap, and too funny how these people are just so . . . I honestly can't for the life of me remember who Anthony and Stephanie are, so I guess I don't miss them . . . .
I fear Terrence and Sarah are the Flo and Zach . . . sigh . . .
Sorry to see Nick being a dick . . . down several notches for me . . . inner ugly ruins outer cuteness . . .
2 of 15 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 8, 2008 1:49 PM
Too funny recap! Loved the god taking a whiz comment.You know if the blondes HAD gotten to the Docket detour they would have been eliminated because they would have had to visit both their myspace,facebook and yahoo accounts while activating IM before ever looking for their crate number. PS loved the Yoda voice, can't help it, I'm a diehard Star Wars fan...I had missed the part where Terence had asked for an ice cream HAHAHAA that's just too much. I hope they stay around for a while. Thanks, your recaps are the BEST!
3 of 15 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on October 8, 2008 2:38 PM
Thanks for the recap! I too, loved the line about God whizzing, hahaha. Too much funny stuff in this recap for me to remember it all, but that definitely sticks out. ;-)
I couldn't believe all the teams that made mistakes this episode. I thought it was hilarious though that Terence and Sarah couldn't find the taxi's. It seemed like everyone else found them right away. They must have been too busy making out though to see which way to go.
4 of 15 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on October 8, 2008 3:40 PM
I'm glad Terence is a straight-ee cause he's just an embarassment to men everywhere. I'm SO glad he's not gay. (He's not gay, right?)
Okay, I don't understand why Ken is staying with Tina. She's old. She's saggy and she's a b*tch. Couldn't he find someone young, perky and a b*tch? Wouldn't that be better?
Like Mark and Bill because they seem like decent men.
Likin' Dallas anytime he takes his shirt off.
5 of 15 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on October 9, 2008 7:35 AM
This episode was chock full of...something.
Digging at the beach...missing the telltale arrows...asking for an ice cream cone...but the best part for me was the divorcees while in the cab swearing that they would never again make another mistake because they would READ THE CLUE...immediately followed by them not telling their taxi to stay put, because they forgot to read the clue!
Keep up the great work.
6 of 15 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on October 9, 2008 10:56 AM
Your recap was hilarious!! I literally laughed for 5 minutes about the description of Anthony and the taxi cabs... too funny! There were so many other priceless gems that also made me LOL.
I kinda like the computer geeks ~ did ya hear them when Kent & Tina passed them in the cab, say something sarcastically about them winning a foot race with an ex-NFL guy. They seem pretty cool.
Thank you for the laughs! Keep up the fantastic recaps!
7 of 15 | Posted by lijjy | Posted on October 9, 2008 11:46 AM
OMG!!!! Get out of my head! These bitches is crazy. I would give up my favorite pair of jeans to watch an Amazing Race - The Political Season. The world would have a much better idea on who to vote for. Or perhaps, McCain would just kick the bucket and the race would be less painful. Keep up the great writing!
8 of 15 | Posted by ralleykat | Posted on October 9, 2008 12:31 PM
I call BS on Tina actually getting an airline to change the type of plane. There's a bit more that goes into scheduling an aircraft than say, upgrading to a full size car at the rental counter. And could Tina brag anymore about this? (even though it was total BS). And then rewarding herself with frontsies in line? But her driving a dune buggy through McCheater's bachelor pad is funny.
And wow, the divorcees are D-U-M-B. Perhaps they should have used their alimony for brain implants instead of their custom made front lumps.
9 of 15 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on October 10, 2008 9:59 AM
I don't know the nerds' real names, but the bald one with the moustache looks exactly like Tobias from Arrested Development.
10 of 15 | Posted by Zwicker | Posted on October 10, 2008 10:21 AM
I agree that the nerds are a couple of sweeties. But they're wrong about not being able to get snippy with a romantic partner on the race--look at Terence. God, what a jackass!
Does anybody know Ken's last name? I am wondering if I know him from his NFL days. I agree, he needs to ditch the wife. He could do better.
11 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:19 AM
"AND THEN HE DITCHES HER FOR ANOTHER PARTNER!!! HAHAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!"
Joke's on Nick (and you, too, bBitz), though. Sarah solved it long before he did. If he hadn't ditched her, he'd have been done.
Sorry you support his assholish move to Andrew, too. That made me lose any and all respect for you. So a big "FUCK YOU!" to you.
12 of 15 | Posted by Dale | Posted on October 11, 2008 5:38 AM
Hey everyone!
Thanks for writing comments - love it!
Some thoughts:
Fayellis1: I get embarrassed by the things white people do all of the time - have you watched the current campaign for president? :)
juddfan: I was a lil' sorry to see Nick be a dick too - but then I thought - at least he's being upfront about playing the game - unlike many others who smile and then stab someone in the back.
soapboxx: Don't forget tmz.com. Trash!
JustJesse: I'm beginning to think the producers hide the arrows when T&S are coming because they know it'll make for great TV.
Mr Dangerous: He is NOT gay: A) That hair. B) I don't want him on my team. And I think Ken stays with Tina out of compete and total fear. Shit - I'm afraid she'll read this blog and come after MY balls.
cattyfan: Isn't it amazing the Divorcees are turning out to be dumber than the Southern Belles?! Plot twists!
lijjy: I def love the nerd's sense of humor and laid-back but sensible pace. That's won a race before - the Hippies!
ralleykat: It would be great to have a political amazing race but I don't think Palin would participate. She can already see the world on her TV at home. Between the soaps of course.
swimbikerun: Oh yeah - haven't you ever been upgraded a plane at check-in? You just ask for it like she did. "Prop plane? - naahhhh - I'd prefer the 747. Thanks!"
Zwicker: LOL. Totally! But not as funny.
pixielated: No idea. You're asking the wrrrrrong person. Keep me posted though. :)
Dale: I was most excited to get to this comment! Either this is Terrence (not Dale) writing, or you are in a league of "takes TV & humor way too seriously" all of your own. I'm sorry you've lost respect for me. It's certainly why I write for TVGasm. To command respect! However - know this - your comment made me laugh the hardest - so now I support YOU over Nick! Now what?!
13 of 15 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on October 12, 2008 9:04 AM
This is one of the funniest AR seasons, ever. I swear, though, when Terrence asked for Ice Cream it was like a child was talking. I kept waiting for him to stomp his feet and have Sarah put him in time-out.
14 of 15 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on October 14, 2008 9:27 AM
Hey, don't you recap Amazing Race anymore???
I've been waiting! What's up?
15 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 19, 2008 2:23 PM