This leg of the race started off in the heart of Amish country, home of Rumpspringa, Witness, and the new sport taking the country by storm: DangerBuggy! Last week, Mrs. Weaver fell victim to the runaway cart. Who would be felled tonight??

Anyway, we quickly learned that teams would be heading to York, PA to find Shoehouse road and a giant, uh, shoe-house. Whoa, that has "Buggy Catastrophe" written all over it. Phil then elaborated for us: "Teams must now drive approximately fifteen miles." STOP THE PRESSES! Fifteen miles? Let's not go crazy here. You can't expect any normal human being to drive that distance, let alone children! This season is crazy hardcore.

The Godlewskis were first out of the gate, and props to them for stopping at Kinkos to get matching shirts with pictures of themselves on the front. To think that I insinuated last week that they were annoying...

Leaving not long after were the Gaghans, featuring Dakota Fanning. Oh wait, I mean Carissa. "They see us as a threat now," said the mom. Well, it's understandable. Your daughter does seem to be the devil's spawn. And speaking of religious figures, the Weavers left next, which meant a small pep talk in the car. "We all need to give 100%," said the widow mother. Uh, and don't forget to look out for those runaway buggies. You just know Jesus won't be happy until he smotes you with one again.

The Schroeders left next, I believe, and daughter Stassi (pronounced Stacy) explained, "We're not as prepared as we thought we were." Yeah, seriously. Too bad you didn't bring along a handicapped kid to stop traffic for you.

Anyway, as the first batch of teams headed off, it took about .329 seconds before The Widow Weaver called upon a higher authority: "Lord, please help us. In Jesus's name, please help us, God." Look, last time you distracted Jesus from helping out with Katrina, you got attacked by the Amish equivalent of a Mac truck. Don't push your luck.

My heart instantly warmed when the Paolos ran out of the gate, and unsurprisingly, they were already bickering. "My mother's nagging is constant," complained DJ, "She just drives me nuts." Yeah, it's kind of like how America feels when they hear... you. Wow, I really dissed him there.

Well, first to arrive at the shoe house (it was literally a house designed to look like a shoe) were the Gaghans. Dad hopped out of the SUV and ran around to the cluebox, but you know, maybe they should have sent Carissa. After all, she can out-run most adults, DIDN'T YOU KNOW??