This week's episode began at the Great Wall of China, one of two man-made objects visible from space and inspiration to countless Chinese take-out restaurants across America. Anyway, first out of the gate this week were our favorite junkie models, Tyler and James, who learned they'd have to travel by bus and train to exotic Outer Mongolia. Once there, they'd have to go to a temple, observe a ceremony, and receive a clue. Sounds junkie-tastic!

"Don't mind us an our oddly bulging biceps."

The two guys zipped off to the bus station, telling us about the joys of sobriety all the way, and following them were Lauren and Duke, the latter of which commented, "I can accept gays and lesbians, but when it's your daughter, you think of it a little differently." He then sobbed for fifteen minutes and threw himself over the Great Wall.

Speaking of gay, Tom and Terry were quite excited about learning their next destination. "AMAZING!" they said, an imaginary disco ball lighting up over their heads. As for my favorite team, David and Mary, they came raring out of the Pit Stop, dressed in all green. They kind of looked like the bizarre love child of Gumby and some hillbillies. It made me love them even more. Mary then explained all the eye-opening aspects of the race. "I never known an Asian person in my life!" she said. And even crazier, she then revealed, "We never been around gay people... but I like 'em!" And with that, the imaginary disco ball lit up over Mary too, and she and Tom and Terry boogied on down to "It's Raining Men!" Hallelujah!

Anyway, at the bus station, there were two buses for teams to take: one leaving at 12 AM and one leaving at 2 AM. The junkie models, Duke & Lauren, Sarah & Peter, the Miss Americas, and Kimberob all made it onto the first bus while everyone else was stuck with departure time #2. But don't think that the second group was upset about their later bus. No, they took the setback in stride as they danced up a storm at the depot. Sadly, they were not all taken to a Chinese re-programming camp and never heard from again.

Well, the buses eventually headed off into the night, and when they reached their transfer point, everyone wound up on the same train. So much for those staggered departure times. The Miss Americas tried to shake things up by finding a faster train, but the junkie models sniffed them out so fast, you'd think the girls had five kilos of cocaine in their hair.

Ultimately, the beauty queen scheming resulted in nothing but raised suspicions. Everyone was stuck on that train whether they liked it or not. While they waited for their locomotive to arrive, Sarah attracted a crowd of onlookers who were quite fascinated by her artificial leg. In an effort to appease both their curiosity about prosthetics and their joy for dancing, Sarah broke into a one-legged jig that elicited applause from the locals. Afterwards, however, Peter tried to shake them all down for cash, insisting that they get no more of the well-received Sarah Show if they didn't pay up. Needless to say, Peter wound up empty-handed. Methinks these locals have seen their share of one-legged wonders. But alas, Sarah could not fathom why no one would pay money to see her shake her bon (I know it's bon-bon, but I employ a stern "bon-to-leg" ratio). "They pay money at the zoo though!" Sarah complained, happily equating herself to a caged baboon.