How To Reflect on Human Depravity and Learn Absolutely NOTHING - 
by B-Side
Pop quiz: When you see monuments of the African slave trade and the Berlin Wall, what are the first thoughts that pop into your head? If you answered sausage making, beer chugging, and soap box derbies, you are correct! That's the lovely combination that The Amazing Race conjured up for us tonight on a Very Special Emmy episode.
Oh, and let's not forget the domestic abuse. No, not the kind where we bloggers of the world laugh and say "He's gonna hit her!" I mean the kind where we bloggers of the world say "Wow, he just shoved his wife in the middle of the street." Yeah, it's not funny anymore.
Where's Jeff Probst when you need him?
We knew tonight's episode was going to be emotional because a) CBS has not stopped showing commercials of Gus sobbing, and b) um, okay, I have no second reason. Kris and Jon kicked off this leg of the race as they excitedly read they'd be going to the largest former slave house in the region. "Let's go!" they chirped, only a shade less enthusiastically than Mario and Luigi. I know these two are happy and like the best people ever, but honestly, it's a SLAVE HOUSE!
Aaron and Hayden's boobs opened up their clue with considerably less enthusiasm, and Rebecca managed to insult an entire continent by yapping "I'd love to get out of Africa. I can see why so many people escaped." If by "escaped" you mean "torn from their families and homesteads to be shipped to America where they were slaves for a few hundred years," then yeah, TOTALLY. They were SO lucky to have escaped!
Meanwhile, in the uncomfortably ironic department, penniless Mary Jean and Don announced their plan to rebound from losing all their cash at the end of the last round: "If we have to sing and dance, we'll get the money," Mary Jean said as she pulled out her "Ralph Ellison Guide to The Invisible Man Money Dance".
As teams arrived at the slave house, the show slowed down to take a moment to respect and reflect on the tragic destinies of so many Africans. Each team was instructed to enter the house and lay a flower down in tribute to the slaves. It really was a beautiful moment, but snarky me knew the producers were playing me like a fiddle as those swelling strings took over the soundtrack. Yes, I wouldn't let my cold heart be warmed by some reality show! Cut to Kris and Jon saying a prayer (they're so nice), Gus sobbing, then Don teary eyed, then Gus explaining how he didn't cry at his parents funerals, then me with my lower lip quivering. Damn this is powerful. Did Jerry Bruckheimer let Speilberg direct this episode or something? Just about the only thing that could make this more moving would be if they headed to concentration camps. Hmmm... I wonder where they'll be off to next?
Germany!
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