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Welcome back to Amazing Race everyone! The leg begins where we left off - Stockholm! Phil reminds us it's the birthplace of ABBA. OMG if they had an ABBA challenge that'd be AWESOME! Team BroMos would nail it.
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Hit the Road, Crack!" »
Last week we learned to ask not for whom the bells tolls (cause GUUURRRLLL I just counted those mother f@$kin' things 4 times!), that sometimes desperation and defeat are the best pokerfaces and never to mix penicillin with Mexican food (this was a more personal lesson). WHY?! Let's just say there's a reason Phil never goes south of the border. It's just can't stomach the... AMAZING RACE!
We begin in Groining (sp?), Holland - the last pit stop of the race. We are now down to 5 teams and Team BroMos are the first to take off to the next stop, Stockholm, Sweden. OMG - dees eez vere zee Team Master Race shall rool zee race!!! Team BroMos is screwed since I'm sure Team Pokerface took their balls with them.
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: We're Number One!" »
Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay - little thing called "tonsillitis" and "the flu" hit the bBitz household this week and left wreckage. Good times. It could've been worse though. We could've been forced to go down a FRGGIN' WATER SLIDE. That shit's criminal. Luckily Phil got away with it though. Why? Cause it's AMAZING RACE!
We start off with 6 teams remaining and Team Master Race still in first after 3 legs. UGH! Get a room! Teams are taking off from the beautiful Palm Jumeirah...
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Warning: Possible Shrinkage" »
Welcome back everyone! Last week we learned that Team Master Race is earning its namesake and Team Masshole... well, they also earned their namesake. Apparently it doesn't pay to destroy, tear apart and kick shit all around the world. Even if it seems to turn Phil on. WHY?! Because this is... AMAZING RACE!
We begin where we left in Dubai - the Disneyland of the Middle East. Team Master Race chooses a mystery brief case and starts out for the Dubai Golf and Yacht Club to search for the next clue. Meghan carries the case and says she feels like a "businessman". Oh - so you have to be a business "MAN"?! SEXIST! You are SO on Team Master Race!
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: WWJD? Push Her!!" »
Previously we learned that if you make it through rounds and rounds of interviews and casting sessions and the first 3 legs of the race - you should probably know enough to HOLD ON TO YOUR @%&*$@! PASSPORT! WHY?!?! Because this is "AMAZING RACE". Not "Amazing Race Around the Continental US".
Dan and Sam, the 2 usurpers of Zev and Justin's first place throne, leave first and get the clue, "Fly to the Persian Gulf and find the world's tallest building." If Lance thinks it's somewhere in Iraq this is going to be the best episode EVER. Either way I think they should make him wear a "Jesus is my Homeboy" t-shirt for this leg. Just, ya know, to see if he makes it.
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Smashin' Massholes" »
Howdy fans! Welcome back! Last week we learned that Marcy liked Vietnam so much she decided to stay there, apparently the Harlem Globetrotters really are quite the globe-trotters and Lance may quite possibly be the dumbest person on the show... ever. But it's not just about brains - it's about brawn too ("ROAR! Lance destroy VCR!!!). Why? Because this is... AMAZING RACE!
Team Trotters are the first to leave to their new destination... Phnom Penh, Cambodia! Yikes. They're really getting the nickel tour of Asia. With any luck they're booked at the Hotel Khmer Rouge for the evening. Where you might check in but don't check out! What? Too soon?
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Keep Your Passport Here Next Time" »
Welcome back kids! Just to refresh - last week we learned that being a vegan-yoga-master means you can run a great race but you have to be bright enough to make it past the start. We also learned that a poker face may not be a pretty face especially if it's in last place and finally, it takes cool tempers and a touch of Asperger's not to get fucked by a duck. Why? Because this is... AMAZING RACE!
Couples start out in Vietnam with Team Farm Boys in the lead - with their luck, the next challenge will be a corn-shucking contest in Wisconsin. But first, the boat they're all on heads out overnight and arrives in the morning to My Tho, Vietnam...
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Take My Life, Please!" »
Welcome back everyone! It's time for the show that preaches worldly knowledge while its contestants practice worldly ignorance! I'm bBitz and I'm excited to be back for my 3rd season of this Emmy-award winning show! (Clearly because of my recaps.) Last season we learned that just because you're deaf doesn't mean you can't win (well... place in the top 3 to be fair), just because you're hearing doesn't mean you can't be deaf to your sister's thoughts/suggestions/feelings (and yet... still win) and that there's nothing like hearing your sister piss away a chance at a million dollars inside a port-o-pottie. Ladies and Gentlemen... this is AMAZING RACE!!!
The race begins in the heart of beautiful Los Angeles...
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: Same Shit, Different Duckies!" »
This season we learned being incredibly bitchy (cheerleaders), insufferably whiny (you know who) and bilingual yet oblivious (Tammy/Victor) gets you to the final three. It's now time to learn which of those traits really pays off - just remember - no matter who wins - we all lose. Why? Because this is AMAZING RACE!
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: She Loses, Everyone Wins!" »
Last week we learned the Chinese need to learn English so that Americans can win a million dollars easier, Cara can beat Michael Phelps any day (provided she doesn't continue to swim like a sea cow) and the leg of the race is never over until Phil says so! Why? Cause it's his mo-fo house and he the daddy of a baby called AMAZING RACE!
We start off with the Cheerleaders getting a face full of "PSYCH!!!" from Phil as they learn the race isn't over. I can't believe Jaime didn't gut Phil right there but they rally and race on. It could be worse - she could slam her head in a car door. Oh but wait...
Continue reading "Amazing Race: Amazing Race: How to Piss Away a Million Dollars" »