TVgasm Recaps: Your Source for Amazing Race

The Amazing Race: She's Got Hiiiigh Hopes!

Time for the Germany leg we've all been waiting for! How do we know when we're in Germany?! Cause when lipstick goes from butch to bitch, you know you're watching "THE AMAZING RACE" German-style! SHIZA!

Our lovable Cowboys are the first to depart and discover they're off to Hamburg, Germany! Yeah! They must be so psyched to be headed to the home of the Whopper. (You know they're thinking it.)

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The Amazing Race: Remorse Code!

Bigblowbrains

Hey kids! Sorry for the delay... don't be mad like, ya know, angry lesbians that might gut me and feast on my internal organs while I'm still alive. "But they're just friendly lady lovers!" you might say. No. Maybe they once were but now they are Satan's little muffin lovin' children. WHY!? Because they've chosen the dark path of "THE AMAZING RACE"!

Teams start off where they left in Hamburg, Germany and the Private Dicks will be the first to head out. I'm still in shock that these two are in first. I blame The Beatles. However, there's a little twist this leg! Teams are being bussed to a random location and starting from there! That's pretty neat. Although it would've been much cooler if they drugged them and woke them up while they were all dangling over a cliff. Just saying. WHY am I not working for this show?!

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The Amazing Race: Blame Jesus!

Hey kids! Last week we learned that the lesbians are inherently evil, kuchen tastes better than it sounds and Willie Nelson was wrong... Mamas you should let your babies grow up to be Cowboys! Why? Cause they're kicking ass on "THE AMAZING RACE"!

Teams begin where they left off, in Chile. Our Cowboys are the first to take off and hop on a SIX HOUR BUS RIDE to Argentina! Ugh. If Greyhound is operating in Chile they should just give up now. I mean... have you ever used a restroom on those things? After six hours that bus is gonna smell like a rotten kuchen

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The Amazing Race: Fuchen the Kuchen!

Chilebaker

We're back and I must say I'm looking forward to this season more than previous ones! Last week we learned the season will be full of top notch morons, good-hearted souls and vindictively evil bastards. What a show!

The leg starts off with last week's first place team, Team Big Bro. They start off on a great first step by screaming "BUS" at their taxi driver. They speak a foreign language as well as my mother does - by which I mean they scream English slowly and with great exaggeration of the hands. Watching these two scream-speak their way across many countries is gonna make it SO worth watching!

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Amazing Race: Breaking and Entering!

It's back everyone! The show that can give us faith in humanity and then promptly rip it away! Sometimes it gives it back again, but mostly it just stops and takes a bathroom break at the worst possible moment. (I'll never let that one go.) Ladies and gentlemen... it's "THE AMAZING RACE"!!!

We begin in the beautifully congested city of Los Angeles as the official Amazing Race Bus transports teams to the start line...

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Amazing Race: TEAM MASTER RACE! OH HELL NO!!!

This is it kids! The big finale! We've learned so much this season: never be a vegan on this show if you wanna make it past the start line, buying a $5 passport-holder might be worth it to win a million dollars, there's nothing deadlier than a waterslide (especially if you're dating someone willing to physically throw you down it), never trust gay brothers, never stand in front of a car driven by a female poker player and ALWAYS stay on Ms. America's good side! Why? Cause otherwise she might just "beat yo ass" on "THE AMAZING RACE"!

We start the final leg in Prague where we left off. Team Master Race gets the clue first to "head to Las Vegas". These two are so white I half expected them to look blankly at it and comment, "But we don't speak Spanish. Is this in Brazil?"

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Amazing Race: I Annoint Thee Queen Ohellno!

Welcome back everyone! Last week Team Master Race mastered yet another race, Ms. America was left hanging, the BroMos flipped over and out on each other and then stole Team Oreo's taxi. OH. HELL. NO. Bitches gonna get served! Why?! Cause this ain't the projects... this is THE AMAZING RACE!

We start out at Prague Castle where we left the teams last. Team Master Race heads out first to the next clue, the Spanish Synagogue. The city's oldest Jewish house of prayer. How vill they ever find it with the traffic and the people and my back is killing me why don't they ever call their mother...OY!

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Amazing Race: Czech Yourself, Bieche!

Last week we learned that when you "candle-a-bra" you get "elimin-a-ted" and that someone's gonna get their ass beat this episode! WHY?! Because it's Amazing Race and somebody's gotta get whooped!

Teams start out in the marshes of Estonia where we left them and we see Team Master Race get the first clue - fly to Prague! Nice! Very jealous. Hot boys and tastey pastries.

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Amazing Race: Hit the Road, Crack!

Welcome back to Amazing Race everyone! The leg begins where we left off - Stockholm! Phil reminds us it's the birthplace of ABBA. OMG if they had an ABBA challenge that'd be AWESOME! Team BroMos would nail it.

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Amazing Race: We're Number One!

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Last week we learned to ask not for whom the bells tolls (cause GUUURRRLLL I just counted those mother f@$kin' things 4 times!), that sometimes desperation and defeat are the best pokerfaces and never to mix penicillin with Mexican food (this was a more personal lesson). WHY?! Let's just say there's a reason Phil never goes south of the border. It's just can't stomach the... AMAZING RACE!

We begin in Groining (sp?), Holland - the last pit stop of the race. We are now down to 5 teams and Team BroMos are the first to take off to the next stop, Stockholm, Sweden. OMG - dees eez vere zee Team Master Race shall rool zee race!!! Team BroMos is screwed since I'm sure Team Pokerface took their balls with them.

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March 20, 2010:The Amazing Race: She's Got Hiiiigh Hopes!

March 19, 2010:The Amazing Race: Remorse Code!

March 4, 2010:The Amazing Race: Blame Jesus!

February 24, 2010:The Amazing Race: Fuchen the Kuchen!

February 18, 2010:Amazing Race: Breaking and Entering!

December 11, 2009:Amazing Race: TEAM MASTER RACE! OH HELL NO!!!

December 2, 2009:Amazing Race: I Annoint Thee Queen Ohellno!

November 29, 2009:Amazing Race: Czech Yourself, Bieche!

November 20, 2009:Amazing Race: Hit the Road, Crack!

November 13, 2009:Amazing Race: We're Number One!