Watching the episode, I knew exactly what you were going to make fun of, SBD, hysterical! I personally can't stand the Paolo family, their Italian bickering drives me nuts. And that damn Godlewski accent, it hurts my ears. Such trauma the show puts the Weavers in next week, I feel an emotional breakdown coming on.

B-side, I am so glad that you recapped the GravityPhilâ„¢ moment for us all!! I haven't laughed that hard since the last Chris Rock special! Phil is turning into a real comic tour-de-force in this series.

WTF is with those WackyWeaversâ„¢? I think its pretty obvious that they have not come to terms with their tragic loss. But, I guess its what Jesus wanted them to do. Why else would they have signed up for the race?

Does anyone else get the vibe that some of the kids on some of the teams (i.e. Hunter, Rolly, and maybe one or two others) don't really want to be in the race? It's kind of like they were told "It's a family decision to race, and that's final!". Or maybe they've realized that this race edition sucks (kids have a knack for knowing what sucks and what's cool).

I think that the free gas at BP (shameless plug) was probably the best prize ever given on reality TV.

One more thing, how many limo/car service/van drivers do you know that will turn over their cell phones like they did on the way to Dullestâ„¢ Airport? I believe the correct response to "Driver, can I borrow your cell phone to make some calls" would be "NO". And probably followed up with "get your own f*ckin phone, you loser".

"Marion should totally do Monday Night Football." I would totally watch that!!! Could you imagine her wiping those lines off the screen that that they use to show the plays that have been run. "Don't write on the TV screen! I can't see through all your graffiti!" She would be the best PA host ever!! We'll mostly aggressive.

3G_Phil, actually the correct response would have been something yelled in another language. I have never once had a native english speaker driving to Dulles.

The one thing I did notice... that one family left from Middleburg VA to Dulles at like 2 something in the morning. The flights didn't get in until 10am. in those 8 hours, you can probably drive to Charleston. In 8 hours time from Middleburg, I can get to NE Georgia.

I hate those race-equalizing moments in the game where other peoples' leads are wiped out. Why not just let them sleep in a little longer? sheesh. Middleburg to Dulles is like a 25 minute drive. Oh yeah, TV Drama.

"But still, CBS, never do Family Edition again..."

I think this was my favorite quote from this week's summary. Hopefully someone up there will listen (and I'm not talking about the Weaver's up there either) and we will never have to suffer through this again.

The mud challenge was pretty neat, I finally realized the reason the Gaghans did so well is because their jeep was so much lighter than any of the other jeeps.

I'm sure the Godlewskis and the Paolos will linger on like a bad smell for far too long (I can do fart mentions too!) just to keep the ratings up because you know there will be so many viewers watching to make sure those awful Paolos or those loud Godlewskis are gone that week.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Wow, don't look like I missed much. Sounds like it would have been more exciting if one of the Weavers were actually run over by the bus they were riding in.

GO WHITE SOX!!!!!!!!!

They didn't show the plane diagram because the nose of the plane would be in Charleston while the tail was still at Dulles.

Call me crazy, but I like the Gaghans. Might be a Suburban Hartford pride thing, but I do.

Imagine the Weavers on a real TAR? They were flipping over an 8 hour comfortable bus trip through Georgia. I want to see them on one of those 20 hour trainrides from hell across Bangladesh - with all those non-Christians!

This whole game is fixed more than we ever thought. The SoHo parking, the DC parking, and this episode, the 2nd plane ticket taker told the Aiellos, "This is the 2nd plane." Meaning, they were fully aware that the Independence plane would sell tix to only 4 teams and that it they knew the score. And you also know that CBS made sure the first plane landed first, etc.

TAR:FE sucks ass.

I was a bit bummed to see the Aiello's go, I like the father-in-law, and at least they don't shreik. And especially given the set-up of this race, following up one of those equalizing things with the roadblock that determined the order of finishing just in showing up (would've made a HELL of a lot more sense to have something like that before the equalizer).

And yeah, sg-dub, I was just about to say that. Someone put those whining Weavers on a very long, hot, crowded train ride in India.

hehehehehe, that screencap of Phil is AWESOME.

OK...help me here. Everybody left the pit stop around 2:00 in the morning. The flights from Dulles got in to Charleston around 10:00am. Then everybody ran around for what was no doubt a few hours doing the muddy shrimp detour. Then they all got on a bus and traveled 8 hours to Huntsville, AL. When they got there, it was dark. Factoring in the fact that this was taped in the summer, that means it was like 11:00 at night.

Is it just me or is Space Camp open 24 hours? I was fully expecting to have them all sleeping on the ground until the place reopened in the morning. but NOOOOOOOO...they had the place open especially for TAR:FE. Not fair!

I would love to see TAR:FE send the families to a couple of ghetto's where they would have to do something for the poor people like they do in the regular TAR show.

I can imagine the conservative Linz family spewing racial slurs & christian Weavers bitching up a storm if they had to visit the projects of Detroit or backwood shacks of Mississippi.

I only hope they didn't miss this great opportunity this season.

I kept thinking at the centrifuge that we'd have a breakdown. I bet the producers thought so, too. (Where's Adam of Adam and Rebecca when you need him to freak out about a task?) I think what's been lacking this season (with the Weaver buggy fiasco as the exception) is any genuine fear from the contestants. They get the clue, they do the task, they move on. Granted, finding a spy with a briefcase is not a fear-inducing roadblock, but the mud or the shrimp or the centrifuge all could have had more drama if the contestants themselves had brought any to the table.

Instead, we replace that drama with crying on the bus.

TAR is still my favorite show, but I wonder if the challenges will get any more challenging.

GO WHITE SOX!!!!!!!!

sg-dub, you are right...this show sucks ass BIG TIME...I quit watching because it made me want to rip my eyes out and my ears off, but I'll still read the recaps cause I love you guys and I can find out if Phil does anything amazing like become "GravityPhil".
It's time to start campaigning for TAR All-Stars !!! CBS owes us after this debacle.

And can anyone explain why they need a chaffeur to drive them to Dullz [sic] aiport?! That's bulls**t, man.

Hm, I still think the Weavers were being a bit sneaky in the airport though. I mean what is there to learn? Ah, reminds me of one of my favourite TAR moments. When Rob tried to mess with the other teams by dropping hints he found an earlier flight, which prompted them to actually find an earlier flight, *sigh* those were the days.

The Huntsville part of the show was too easy. Everything was determined by the number they got for the centrifuge, which means that the only part of the leg that mattered was which bus they were on followed by how quickly they drove just a few miles down I-565 to the Space Center.

nce they had their numbers for the centrifuge, all they had to do was walk to the rocket, then go in the museum, then walk to the shuttle. The rocket is on one side of the museum, and the shuttle is on the other. The rocket sticks up a few hundred feet, so finding it was not hard. The shuttle isn't as tall, but they had to pass it to drive in, so they all should have remembered where it was. Basically, then, unless one team outran another between the rocket, the museum, and the shuttle, there was no chance of the order changing from the order in which they did the centrifuge. And given that even the slower teams didn't get passed by another team, I am assuming that the centrifuge took just long enough to insure that everyone finished the leg in exactly the order in which they did the roadblock.

I officially hate "family edition" now, too. This episode was the boringest yet, even w/o the silly patriotic stuff.

I do love Marion Paolo, though. I kind of wish they would make a Furby version of her, that you have to feed and coddle, or else she explodes with outburts of typical Marionisms. I would totally buy one.

I'm seeing a glimmer of hope for this show now that the kids from different families are becoming friends and being obnoxious and teenaged at a higher level than they could if they just looked to brothers or sisters to join them in humiliating and irritating their parents.

Seriously, this is the most I've ever laughed out loud at a recap- and I've read hundreds. The photos and captions alone are still giving me the giggles.

I'm routing for the Linz family, I go for that juvenile humor. But I have to say, my faith in the integrity and fairness of this game was ruined after last season - Romber was robbed, plain and simple. That whole 'plane coming back to the gate' thing smelled fishy - or shrimpy, as it were.

Im from Charleston, and I gotta say they missed out on some Ghetto Drama. The easiest route to walk from the Harbor where the shrimp boats are to the visitors center goes through one NAS-TEE part of town. When they said tams had to walk that my husband and I were all "kickass! someones gonna mug the weavers!". Imagine our dissapointment...

B-Side-
You had me cracking up with your Sims references--especially the comments about the obsessive plate stuff.

Great Recap B-Side. I'm now relying on you to let me know what happens on this show. I'll keep reading the recaps, because they are funny and interesting, unlike this edition of TAR. This episode was it for me. I'd personally like to thank the good people at CBS for giving "My Name Is Earl" and "The Office" a fighting chance in the ratings. When I saw that these shows were up against TAR I figured they were doomed. Little did I know that the programming geniuses decided to take a multiple emmy winner and completely screw it up. It reminds me of the "Seinfeld" episode where Jason Alexander tells George Wendt from "Cheers" - "You should change the setting ... enough with the bar already." (or words to that effect)

I hope CBS gets bitch smacked in the ratings and learns their lesson. Ditch the kids, leave the country - Give us back The Amazing Race we enjoy.

Once again . . . Hey Amazing Race : Family Edition YOU SUCK!

Next season:

The Amazing Race All Stars: "The State Department Travel Warning Edition"

Past favorites of the Amazing Race travel to exciting destinations like: Pakistan, Albania, Iraq, Kosovo, etc. This would make up for this family crap.

And yes, Billy Gaghan is a robot

you realize that your compulsion to pick up plates also resulted in your wife cheating on you with sam from down the road.

wow, this show is REALLY BORING and i was sad i didnt even get a screen map on the IAD-CLT flight!

luckily your recaps are able to transform this DULLes show into gold, GOLD JERRY!

Next Time on TAR...

We send a family that lost their father at a Motor Speedway to another Motor Speedway!!

No matter how much I dislike the Weavers, that's just not cool.

To Mama Weaver:

Get those kids out of the race and into some grief counseling! WWJD Mama?

thank you so much tomswift! i said the samething when mama weaver had her girls in the restroom telling them to hide their grief! please let these girls mourn their loss! and let your son have a male friend!! i am a girl and i know i won't be able to travel all overt the place with those 3 women!

Did you check out the package on GravityPhilâ„¢? Full of shrimp indeed!

I don't think mama weaver was telling them to hide their "grief" but rather stop whining so loudly about all the shit they went through that day. I gotta hand it to the Weavers though, they perform pretty well for all their Jesus love and short shorts. I'm a total fan of the crazy disorganized family that makes all the wrong choices and then still comes out ok.

Well it's official for me now - this is a HORRIBLE season of TAR! This week the race was pretty much over when they got to the space station. They had to pick numbers for the g force thing - then CHECK THEIR E-MAIL (wow - what a challenge!) and then go on foot to the finish line. Gee - how exciting.

I know there are kids involved so they can't make things AS nutty - but they could do more than they are doing.

I am only going to continue to watch because I've seen every Amazing Race episode since the very start and I don't want to miss one but most of all because I enjoy watching and then reading these recaps. Thanks for doing such a good job with them. Or if you're a Weaver thank you Jesus for doing such a good job with them.

Holy hating on the accents, Batman!

Okay, I've officially had my first TVgasm Proper.

"Sad follow-up: my Sim child had failing grades and since I was too busy becoming an astronaut and trying to pick plates up off the floor, my child was sadly shipped off to military school, never to be seen again. Also, an unfortunate accident with a poorly placed barbecue and some hedges resulted in a fiery death for my wife. I tried to call the fire department, but dammit if my automatic compulsion to pick up plates didn't stop me."

*tears in my eyes*
*snot rocketing from nose*
*pear chunks dribbling on chin*
*keyboard completely a mess*

OMG. My Sims demise is the goddamn plates, too! HA!!!

Someone needs to tell Mama Weaver and her disciples that Jesus did not complain when he took the hike to his death luggin' a big ol' cross, so they shouldn't bitch about riding a cushy Trailways bus.

great recap! I know you didn't want to mention the preview for next week, but that alone will have me tuning in. I bet Walder and the girls are REALLY enjoying that free gas prize now!

TAR season 1 will start tonight on GSN (9pm est)!! So, hopefully this should help us cope with dealing with this crap.

They air every night (7 days a week).

I know what your thinking and No, I don't work for GSN.

Something has bothered me about the GravityPhilâ„¢ picture. If your under 3g's, then why the seat belt?

I don't get all the hating on the weavers. They are no more annoying than anyone else. damn did the Aiello boy hate them though. See all that negativity got him booted.
Too funny that only at NASA where a screw cost a million dollars can they have a closed circuit TV without a clear picture. Guess the government really is cutting back.

Seriously, best reality prize EVER..free gas for life.

I hated the roadblock. What is the point if no one can pass anyone else up? Plus I like the Aiello's. The Paolo's are completely useless, but at least they are entertaining.

Go Angels! (nice cheap win last night Chi-town)

I kept thinking that this HAD to be a nonelimination round, because there was no way they would rig it like that-- The first bus automatically moves on and then the people on the second bus picked numbers. Some challenge!

It had all the excitement of going to the bakery, except for the fresh baked goods.

For cryin out loud "Best Friend/Step-Mama Schroder" allow Hunter to make a friend! Geez are you really that insecure that you blow a gasket because the kid's making friends with the "enemy?" Rolly's probably just as bored as Hunter; probably drug along for the ride, too.

I almost stopped watching my beloved TAR cos the FE sucked so much, but, reading your comments on the show keeps me watching now.
"HE'S FULL OF SHRIMP!"

I agree that sending the Weavers, annoying as they are, to Talladega is cruel. I don't think the show should cow to each team's particular sensitivities, but this family was cast as the "still grieving, still adjusting" family. Clearly the show wants drama and emotion, but they are doing it in a cheap way that is beneath TAR.

Finally glad to see TAR go somewhere we haven't been. The first couple episodes were within an hour of our house in PA or our friends in VA, then they go to Charleston (been there, done the Battery), but finally got to Alabama. Never done that.

As the Weavers were breaking down in the Waffle House, Mom is telling them to be fake and lie. We were wondering - Is that WWJD?

My kids also hit on the theory that the Gaghans had less weight in the car and zoomed through the mud pit.

Also thought it was strange that Rocket Camp was open at 1AM.

Wonder if BP would have been as generous AFTER Katrina/Rita. This was all filmed before. That was one awesome prize.

I assume all the locations are picked before the families - I can't believe they'd pick a family like the Weavers, knowing Talladega was in their future, unless the family OK'd it. There is enough other stuff rigged here, Bertram HAD to warn them about it...

Yeah, TAR-FE isn't as good as the regular version, but it didn't go as far as The Mole (My fave) when it went to the Celebrity version - that really bit the big one...

The free gas is better than winning the whole race. The final prize is 1 million, after taxes, around 500,000. Split it four ways, 125,000 each. The gas for life is more than that per person.

Gas for just one year if you fill up twice a week on average with a 16 gallon tank would be $5,574.40. ($3.35 a gallon, California prices, and if you are getting free gas, you will get the good stuff). Lets say on average it will be for 50 years, that is $278,720. Plus, because each year they are getting less than 10,000 in free money, they will not have to pay taxes. That is not even factoring in that the price will go up.

OMG - I miss the Mole! Thanks for the reminder Dave. Best lines so far - silent, but deadly (I really thought I missed something - like who farted?) and mom weaver telling her kids to lie and fake it. WWJDWT???? (What Will Jesus Do With Them) Hey - he's sending them on an all expense paid trip to TALLADEGA! What a disappointment when the Gagging family made it to the pit stop - PLEASE - maybe those kids will get run ........ oh, never mind. And to my SECOND fav writer - sg-dub - yes, you are crazy (but still loved!)

The Gwreavers are going to a race track next TAR:FE?

I have to tune in for that. God is really trying to send them a message. Were they on the tracks and are there speeding cars?

GO WHITE SOX!!!!!!!

a win is a win. Angels sucks Sox'.

Worst.....TAR.....EVER!

Having watched the reruns of TAR 7 on GSN, I realized just how much this season of TAR sucks! After ten minutes, I was actually bored and flipped over to "My Name is Earl," which in my book constitutes a mortal sin. Thanks B-Side for the only enjoyable thing about this season, spicy recaps.

Is anyone else getting the shakes from coming down of the crack high which was Big Brother???

Good numbers on the gas, Carol. However, I'm sure there are caveats to the deal.

Each person is probably limited to a certain reasonable amount of gas each week. (Say: $30/week). This would prevent them from buying for others.

So, eventually, with rising gas prices and inflation, that would be almost worthless in 50 years...

eDub (#47) You are probably right about capping how much gas they can purchase. BP makes $15 Billion in profits by NOT making careless mistakes.

Willintherace (#46) Watching TAR:FE is like going cold turkey.

Gagin jeep weighed about 480 lbs. (Dad~200; Mom~140; Billy~80; Dakota~60). And I am probably high.

Aiello Jeep weighed about 860 lbs. (assume each guy weighed 215 lbs.) And I am probably low balling it.

Plus, Mom and Dad were in the front seats, which centered the weight between the front/back wheels. The kids weight is negligible The Aiello jeep's weight was centered over the rear wheel since two heavy guys were in the back seats. They never had a chance. And I bet they only finished it by redistributing the weight around when they changed drivers.

B-
From those of us TIVOing "Earl" and "Office" and not watching TAR:FE - thanks for your re-caps!! It's like watching TV, only in my mind!

You're full of shrimp!

I hate the Gag-me's. Can't you see they're Stepford family. Obviously the little girl is BAGGAGE (with obvious high self esteem! I prefer the fear and loathing of the Paolis. They are the team I'm rooting for, should I keep watching. This is the worst TAR of all. TAR 8 makes make me miss Meredith and Gretchen.(Something I never thought I'd think). Leave the country for God's sake. (sorry Weaver's) TAR FE is the worst.

STOP with the Sims references B-side... please! You have me laughing so hard I think I might have broken a rib. (Must get more calcium in diet) I never liked that game after my grill burned the wife, and three neighbors up to.

This episode was tolerable. TAR stepped it up a smidge but .. still very lame.

Those Ghagging kids are too annoying. That robotic boy belts out "I am doing this challenge!" Before the parents can even get the clue read. Every time.

I was disapointed to see the Aiellos leave. They were by far my favorite team.

I did some looking on the net, the free gas for life is not as great as it appears. There was another company that did this a while back, they simply gave the family 250,000 (before taxes) because that is what they figured would cover the gas for the rest of their life. 250,000 is a large sum, but after taxes, 125,000. And you can only spend it on gas, but every year you get taxed for it without it earning interest. Another company did it so that you could only fill up once a week and only in your home state.

Congrats CBS! You've managed to knock TAR out of the top 20 in the Nielsen ratings. You managed to take an Emmy-winning, ratings juggernaut and knock into second in its timeslot with this FE master stroke. (My Name is Earl is now ranked 1st on Tuesday night and tied for 19th overall for the week) I know that the ninth season is going back to two person teams - applications ended in late July - but fire someone's ass and take your medicine. Don't make lame excuses like that umpire in last night Angels/White Sox game did. Admit you were wrong and never, ever try this family version again!

B-Side, I too LOOOOOOOVE MARION PAOLO!!! I don't know what it is about the two of us, but you and me tend to love the same people from each season! Crazy isn't it? P.S. All you loathers of this season, hang in there. After next week's episode, they leave the country! (Sorry if that was a spoiler.)

Even though I swore off TAR FE... I watched enough to get a taste... Can't believe no one else has mentioned how canned the final Mud Run for the Aiello's was... suddenly they went from driving in 3 or 4 feet of mud, to driving on the side, in a shallow layer of mud... and yeah, the centrifuge thing was so completely LAME... no skill, no daring, no endurance, no brains, no strength... just take a ride, in turn, and go... STUPID!!! I'm sure the tasks and places were worked out before the woeful Weavers were chosen... just rotten luck... agreed they are racing fairly well... but that doesn't mean they should have volunteered to be on a show like this, when grieving and serious counseling is what is called for... but yeah...would be fun to see them or any of these plastic middle Americans negotiating a foreign culture and train ride.

Let me guess...they go to Canada! Real challenging, eh?

Most boring TAR evar. What a snorefest. Your recap was much more fun.

And I can't stand the Weavers. Every time they screw up, my husband does his Edward G. Robinson bit: "Where's ya Messiah now, see?"

Which means he says it a LOT!

I sort of like the robot kids, though. It's not their fault CBS decided to be such weenies in compromising what was once such an awesome show.

I've always thought that the editors of TAR could make anything exciting, but it looks like they've met their match in FE. What a snorefest (except for Marion)! I'm skipping the rest and reading the recaps for the remainder. Wake me next season.

No time to read the comments-sorry if it's been posted but

1 love Strassi Weaver-she reminds me of Janelle of BB6

2 You can totally see Phil's package in the 3g pic. You made my week, B-Side

Hey, did anybody think Phil was a tad pissy with those holier than thou Weavers when they arrived at the mat? It seemed like it was almost edited. And then having Mother Teresa, oops I mean Mamma Weaver say they were not perfect and if you don't like us FUCK YOU!, which is freely translated from "We aren't going to change for you."

Or perhaps Phil was a tad testy after his package went through 3gs and he thought there might be some lasting damage....whaddaya think?

I didn't think was quite pissy, but I think the fact that he brought up the whole prisoner remark was his little way of saying RESPECT.

LOVE that you quoted the "In case you hadn't noticed..." line. I love Phil! I feel like they told him to talk about being pushed down and he thought it was so moronic that he came up with that line on his own.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving Marion....she's seriously my new idol, I wanna be her when I'm older!

Can't wait for the Weaver breakdown next week....seriously, who plans things these legs? Especially since I'm sure they knew who the contestants were and their backgrounds before the finalized plans.

I would love to win free gas for life. I calculated that for me assuming the $250/mo I currently spend for 50 years would cost me $150,000. A great prize! Better than splitting $20k four ways.

I am glad to see different teams getting first place and each one winning a prize (so unlike the days of Romber).

Pissy or not pissy, I was glad Mr. Phil told Mamma Weaver and clan their actions and remarks
SUCKED

Wade, nice blog - very funny. Love the "right purdy mouth" comment about the Weaver boy (?)....during the first episode I thought it was the Weaver 'butch' girl! But then, Jebus wouldn't allow THAT!

B-side and the Blog gang (or as I like to refer to ya'll as the 'blo gang'). I watched the pilot episode of TAR season 1