Four teams left. By the end of this episode, it will be three. But before we get to the recap, anyone else think that Phil is getting some action on the Race?
The BQ's are the first to leave at 2:15am. They're looking freshly made up and styled, and I realize how unfair it is that they can make their hair and make up look better while nearing the end of The Race than I can while well-rested with an entire apartment of beauty products at my disposal. Unfair.
Their clue tells them to fly to the island of Guam, then drive themselves nine miles to a US Air Force Base. There they'll pick a military escort to drive them to an air traffic control tower, which they'll climb to find their next clue.
Way to make it hard for the All-Stars, Show. Send them from a British colony to a Portuguese colony to a US territory. Then send them, on that territory, to a US military base where they don't even have to drive themselves. Chances of communication problems: Zero. Chances of getting lost: Zero. Chances of annoying me: 100%.
Before they take off to take the Turbo Jet to the airport, the BQ's tell us: "This is kind of do or die for us - you win or go home. We've gone home before and we know what that feels like and we didn't like it."
This just in from the BQ's: Winning is better than losing. Take a moment to think about that, because it'll blow your mind.
The BQ's get tickets to the ferry that leaves at 3am. Meanwhile, Mirna and Shmirna get their clue at 2:50am. They rush to get to the ferry, but the lines are long and they settle for the 4am ferry.
Eric and Danielle leave at 3:06am. They get tickets for the 4am ferry too. Then Eric wonders if the BQ's are already at the airport getting their flights. Mirna says "I don't know. Charla said they don't know how to use the internet." I nominate Mirna for Most Awesome Blonde Joke Ever. Take a cue from Mirna - laugh, laugh, laugh, even if your joke doesn't have a punchline and doesn't make sense!
Cha Cha Cha finally gets their clue at 4:37am. Which makes me mad. Remember last week, when they made it look like Cha Cha Cha was pulling up just as Eric and Dani's thirty minute penalty was ending? And the show made it look like if Cha Cha Cha just ran fast enough, they'd check in before the end of the penalty. Yeah, well, that was a big lie, because there's a big ol' two hour time difference.
In your face, Show, I'm paying attention.
Oswald tells us that karma "was a bitch on the last leg of the Race, and we got slapped hard for it. But we've asked for forgiveness and we hope that things will go our way." Reason Cha Cha Cha came in last: Karma. Totally unrelated reason: Wandering around Macau lost for two hours and sticking with a totally clueless taxi driver.
Team CrazyPants is in a taxi on the way to the airport, and we get some real insight into Mirna's crazy accents. Mirna starts asking the driver if he has a cell phone, by saying in her most awesome accented English: "You have cell phone? Call airport. Information. How you say airport?" To which the driver responds "Airport." You know, because they're in Hong Kong, where they speak English.
But then Mirna repeats it back to him, in a weird robot voice, and as if "airport" is a totally confusing and foreign word to her. She then says "You have to try to do the right accent. It makes all the difference in the world." Ah, that's what makes all the difference in the word! Speaking to the locals in your native accent. And by native accent, I mean the dialect of The Kingdom of Coocoo.
The BQ's get to the airport, while Mirna uses something called a "cell phone" to call a place called the "airport." They both discover that there is a 9:05am flight through Tokyo that arrives in Guam at 9:50pm.
We end up with the BQ's, Team CrazyPants and Eric and Danielle all in line at the airport. After a really weird exchange where the BQ's tell Eric that he looks buff in his white shirt, everyone gets on the 9:05 flight.
Oh, and Eric really does look buff. In a "Hey, how much can you lift?" sort of way.
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Comments (9)
I have a cold, I hate my job, I'm cranky.
This recap made it all better. I love you. You know, ROTFLMAO and all that!
when crazypants explained their accent theory, I cheered out loud for tvgasm!
1 of 9 | Posted by Lucy![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 3:15 AM
How does Schmirna manage to stay in the game!? I mean, I can recognize more competence in every other team I've ever seen on the race, and yet these two are at least third place. Are they just incredibly lucky?
2 of 9 | Posted by Merick![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 4:48 AM
That friggin' Mirna's the kind of whiner you want to strangle when she sits near you at a restaurant or an airplane and you just know you're going to have to endure a couple of excruciating hours. How the hell did two nice guys like Danny and Oswald come to think of Crazypants as a class act?
I'm a little worried they're going to be steered to a win, which would make them the first all-female team to ever win, but also win the sympathy vote because Schmirna is a (annoying) little person.
I rooted for the BQs the first time around and I'm rooting for them again. They play a tough game, are smart and well-toned, not to mention good-looking. On top of all that, they play strictly within the rules, with a minimum of shenanigans (no life and death struggle for them!). They were smart to do in Eric and Dani twice because they still pose a greater threat than anyone else.
Go, Blondies!
3 of 9 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 6:18 AM
Danny and Oswald will definitely be missed on the race.
Check out Danielle's face on the screencap where the BQ's tell Eric he looks buff. If looks could kill, those two would be toast.
And seriously, nothing made me happier than hearing Mirna explain her ridiculous accent theory. She is so lost in her own delusions it's not even funny.
4 of 9 | Posted by UglyAllie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 9:38 AM
Tony A, just because you don't like Charla and Mirna doesn't mean that they haven't played "strictly within the rules!" They haven't cheated, so don't accuse them of that.
5 of 9 | Posted by slutty_whore![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 10:24 AM
You know... after Rob and Amber left the race i had to figure out a now team to cheer for... I haven't but I can tell you I think any of the last 3 deserve to win... so did the Cha Chas. I will not be angry about any of it.... Mirna and Charla are not that bad... they didn't use a yield to hamper others... they just kept on moving... and Dani and Eric.... they have not captured any ones hearts but they too have ran the race with more difficult circumstances than the other teams left in the race... and they are still contenders! As for the Beauty Queens.... they should have won last race and I think are the best racers left this season... and will most likely win... eh so what.... I am just waiting for Rob and Amber to start their own reality show that they can host.... Like have Phil retire and Rob take his place .... doesn't that sound like fun???
And I will stick with my wish that AR take every FIRST team to be eliminated and make a season out of them running the race. I would like to see some of those people... or how about a race of only dwarves.... telletubbies go to war.... that made me laugh out loud.. and i love Charla... she is in my opinion the most long suffering on the race... and she doesn't snap when Mirna chews her out EVERY SINGLE WEEK.... That right there makes me pull for her alone.... I wish she could win with out Mirna.
ramble ramble ramble
6 of 9 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 11:03 AM
The Teletubbies go to war! LMAO
Once again, the bizarre accents made an appearance and the explanation behind them made like, no sense!
Now that Danny and Oswald are gone, I'm rooting for the BQs! They are running the best race IMO.
Great recap, I was laughing throughout!
7 of 9 | Posted by Jojobear![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 11:42 AM
I probably won't watch anymore now that Danny and Oswald are gone. I can't believe you left out all the jokes they made about being happy to go to the naval base.
8 of 9 | Posted by allamerican![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 1:18 PM
ROCK ON, BEAUTY QUEENS
I no longer have any conflicting allegiances, now that the Cha Cha Chas are gone. (In fact, I am disappointed in my beloved Chas for drinking the Mirna kool-aid. Ah well.)
Presumably no one left has really "broken the rules," or Phil would have done something about it, (well, except, overlooking things like the Mirnas taking a cab to & from cookies, instead of walking, like they were supposed to), but, really, it is Mirna who is always pontificating on morality & accusing others of wrongdoing (or, for example, accusing the BQs of getting boob jobs AND wearing padded bras, as if anyone would need to do both (?) -- and never mind the fact that the BQs don't even have their (relatively modest, would you say?) cleavage on display (unlike, say, Danielle)) or wear shirts that say things like, say, "too hot to handle" (like, say Mirna), and as if riding along behind them in a cab ON A SINGLE LANE HIGHWAY is cheating, and as if using the "yield" -- which is a PART OF THE GAME in this little thing called a RACE -- is grounds for eternal damnation.
Whatever. I'm not sure why I'm getting so worked up all of a sudden --
in fact, I really was trying to make myself root for Mirna/Charla in the event the BQs fail (which I know they will, because the team I always want to win, doesn't) -- on the grounds that it would be nice to see an all-female team win, finally -- but I just can't. do. it.
Can you imagine Mirna if she wins? OMG. omg. It would be beyond intolerable. Oh, the sanctimony! Believe it or not, I'd rather have Pirate hooker Eric instead.
9 of 9 | Posted by Lime23![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on May 4, 2007 1:24 PM