Memo To Freddy: Soup Tastes Better Without Your Vomit In It - 
by B-Side
When we last left our intrepid teams on The Amazing Race, everyone was piling into an internet café in Budapest while wrestlers Lori and Bolo nestled in for a long night in a rural Hungarian train station. What pray tell would happen?? Well, if you answered "The show would turn into an informercial for AOL," you were correct! Yes, inside that little internet cafe Phil Koegan appeared to teams in the form of a Quicktime movie (very Princess Leia hologram) and informed us that "teams must log on to America Online by using a wireless Intel Centrino laptop." Thanks Phil. For a moment I thought they'd have to log on using a pineapple. Phil went on to explain "Teams then had to sit in a chair, a common device used to alleviate stress on the legs, the traditional limbs used for standing in the human race." After Phil's generous AOL plug, the show moved on to the next - oh, wait - the AOL lovemaking session wasn't over. Jonathan: "Logging onto AOL is like communicating with my best friend" (his best friend is an ISP, apparently). Okay, well, I'm sure that was it for the AOL product placement. But no. Here's a summary of the next minute of the show: AOL is awesome. AOL can do everything. AOL's going to be my best man. AOL is friends with Sharon Stone. Must... purchase... AOL... Eventually, the cyber madness stopped and the show lurched forward to the next clue which directed teams to a rail museum that wouldn't open until 10 AM the next morning. Hmmm... I wonder how those wrestlers are doing?
Funny I should mention them. Turns out that whole thing about no trains leaving until seven in the morning was sort of, well, wrong. And just like that, two weeks of suspense was dispelled as Lori and Bolo clamored onto an early morning train and headed to Budapest. Not all was well in wrestler-land though. Lori balked at the mediocre decor, asking "This is the train?" Apparently she was expecting a lavish dining car with waiters who juggle Fabergé eggs and reenact Agatha Christie scenes.
Back at the internet café, people were still splooging about how wonderful and easy it was to get online. Well, everyone except Adam who seemed to be frustrated by the entire experience. Apparently the producers had blocked out leatherfetishboys.com. Oh, and before I get attacked with more accusations of homophobia, please remember that what I wrote was a JOKE dammit. So sensitive these people are.
With nothing to do except kill some time, the various teams ambled through the scenic city, an experience that summoned deep emotions in Kris. "All this gothic architecture. It just feels so... so... so..." Gothic? Hungarian? Spit it out! Yes, once again, Kris and Jon managed to find beauty in the experience as they cooed "This is so amazing!" If only there were some way to document the entire trip. You know, all edited together to make it exciting and stuff! That would be rad!
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