Last night's show started off on a grim note. The sort of grim note that features a black screen, white text, and Phil's voice. Yes, The Amazing Race would be heading to Mississippi and Louisiana, which meant CBS had to put up a disclaimer to dedicate the episode to the memories of those who died in the hurricane. Well, I'm officially sad now. I'm starting to think The Amazing Race might be cursed. Let's not forget what happened to Sri Lanka after Phil & Co. set foot there (a little bitch I like to call Sue Nammi). And hey, didn't the show go to New York City in 2001? Very fishy. That quake in Asia last week? I think we know where Bertram Van Munster sent the racers for season nine...

Anyway, after the credits, we found our dearest Phil standing amidst the rockets in Huntsville, Alabama. With giant a striped shirt blazin' in the Southern sunlight, he welcomed us back to the race we know and usually love (depends on if it sucks, like this season). We then met up with the Bransens who were first to depart that afternoon. Their mission: travel more than 100 miles (gasp!) to the world's largest office chair in Anniston, Alabama. Yes, Anniston -- "like Jennifer," as Char Schroeder later clarified.

Well, the Bransens headed out to the big chair (although not before dissing 'Bama) and following them were the Linzes, who passed away the travel time with an old game of "Slappy!" -- popularized by Rolly and the Schroeder kid last week. Having a less joyous time were the Godlewskis who started this trip with some old fashioned midwestern bickering. Oh my gad. After the Desperate Housewives hit the road, the Weavers emerged next, and OH NO. Somebody remind the lord that they're ready to race! "Somebody pray!" commanded Linda. Luckily her daughter was right there with some pronto religiousness as she whipped off the little known "Amazing Race" prayer found in Jonathan 18:23.

Now, I like to rib the Weavers because of their kooky reactions to nearly everything, but I don't actually hate them. By and large, they're harmless, and while their religious devotion seems insanely high, I do respect that they've gone through a collective tragedy and need to find strength and guidance in some form. That being said, it was pretty funny to watch the Schroeders completely mock Linda et. al. Pater familias Mark called them "The White Trash Family," whereas Stassi chimed in with "The mom's a wicked witch." Char-Char then added, "At first we're like 'We feel so bad, they lost their dad,' and then we found out they're eeevil." Be careful, Schroeders. You never know what will happen when you mess with the Jesus team...